rimaldo
All about the essence
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2008
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- 44,738
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darren fletcher – nee felcher. born in the outer hebrides, darren was scottish through and through. just like his family. haggis for breakfast, then an hour of bagpipe practice, haggis for brunch, 20 minutes of family caber tossing, one that young darren excelled at, haggis for lunch, an afternoon of singing flower of scotland in rounds with his siblings, followed by dinner, consisting entirely of haggis, all washed down with irn bru and scag. it was then this typical scottish family entertained their darkest desires. one passed down through generations of the felchers. the one thing they were truly good at. felching. an evening ritual lasting many hours, the felchers would engage in their lewd sex act over and over again, never growing tired of this filthy practice. darren excelled at football, some say due to the passing down of good sperm and a protein rich diet, all courtesy of his dad and a direct result of felching. at the scottish academy of scottish football academy darren received ridicule over his unfortunate surname, fearing the fans would latch on to this also he changed his name via deed poll to darren fletcher. from that day on his life took a turn for the better. the calls of darren the felcher stopped and he was able to ply his trade at the greatest club in the land. after a rocky start people grew to love him as a big match player. some say when he changed his name, darren left the world of felching behind him. others say it’s what gets him up for a big match and why he is a big game player. darren felcher. midfielder.