@vi1lain I was just hoping to get your thoughts on something I often think about especially in race/sexism conversation. I hope I don't come across offensive at any point, I'm not always too eloquent and can stumble on words sometimes!
But anyway, I see often that feminists and POC will often use phrases that seem to lump all white people and all men together into one oppressive group and when it gets questioned we (white men) are often told "well if it doesn't apply to you then you should know well enough that we aren't referring to you" despite the words literally saying that. It grates even more when people then get picked up on and torn apart about microagressions which often weren't intended to be offensive. Now obviously I understand that white men in general shouldn't complain about being generalised but it can seem a big double standard to people who feel like they now have to pick their words very carefully to have other groups just lump their group together as one.
Obviously I know in the grand scheme of things it's such a minor thing to be worried about but it can really be a turn off to otherwise well intentioned people who then feel like a divide has been made between them, when before they had good intentions of being supportive to the movement. I see it often as well when guys will try and discuss it with women l, especially on Facebook, and as soon as anything is said that the women disagree with they get shut down as mansplaining and hounded out. I know a lot of the time there are people out on the WUM but I've seen so many well intentioned people lost from the cause to this too.
With the white privilege thing too, no doubt white people and POC in the west at equal levels will get treated differently, but I think again people lose sight of the individuals involved and that you need to win individuals over and not whole groups at a time. I understand now I'm older that I'm in a privileged position relatively but if someone had told me how privileged I was when I got the grades to go to a private school and wasn't able to because my family was too poor I probably wouldn't have taken it in the way it's intended at all.
The tldr version I guess is that at times I feel like these social movements aren't doing themselves any favours and could benefit from a change in dialogue sometimes, and was wondering what your perspective on that is as someone who is clearly very invested in it.
Do you have an example of popular phrases where people say all white people, or all men etc? I know on twitter that 'Men are trash' is common, because - duh.
I don't know of any phrases that lump all white people together or all men together though.
But if we're to talk about the subject broadly - then I guess what you're seeing is some push-back from marginalised members of society who use social media as a way to represent themselves, and give themselves a voice - and in that sense they're not doing these things to do themselves a favour - they're doing these things because this has been common amongst the voices of the unheard - but on social media, you are given a glimpse into the perspective that *insert marginalised community* has had to live with, often for generations, as an outsider. And to be blunt, they're not doing it for you - it's more to do with solidarity and familiarity within that marginalised community.
I'm an active tweeter in Black Twitter and have been for years - and the whole concept of Black Twitter was brought about just from people of the black diaspora whether they're in the US, UK, Africa, Carribbean or dotted around in other places around the world - coming together and finding familiarity amongst things like food, culture, music, growing up - really it could be anything, and from that you create relationships that transcend geography, sexuality, age, culture, language etc. and usually you'll find people are bonding and finding that these thoughts, behaviours, habits, insecurities, memories, experiences that they didn't get a chance to see on media - because there's not been enough representation for PoC in media - can be common, isn't something to be ashamed of, can be something to be proud of.
And for so many people - that reassurance is sometimes all you need to change your mentality which can have a positive effect on you.
To give you an example - I grew up basically around all white people - up until the age of 13 I was the only black girl and one of two black people in my entire school of about 400. I moved at 13 and became 1 of 5 black girls, and 7 black people out of around 700 out of that school.
I never had a boyfriend during school and 6th form - no one ever admitted they had a crush on me, I never got to experience that during my school days - black women aren't seen as desirable. Funnily enough while at university a guy that was in the year above me messaged me on facebook telling me he liked me and wanted to meet up with me - I asked him why he didn't say anything when we used to see each other every day, he said that he didn't know if his friends would make fun of him or not, because they would make fun of guys who had crushes on fat girls, ginger girls, ugly girls etc. I was seen as 'other', and he didn't want to be embarrassed essentially.
All of that is fine, I hold no remorse - without trying to sound stuck up, I know i'm far from ugly and as soon as I went to university there were plenty of guys who were willing to be with me and ironically, white guys love me now.
But the point is when I got to twitter, I found that my story is so common - and that for a lot of the girls who this is common for they suffer from serious self-esteem issues that they have carried through to adulthood, and in grown-up relationships - however through bonding on a platform like twitter you have things like #BlackGirlMagic which celebrates the beauty & achievements of black women in a world that has chosen not to see us as beautiful or worthy enough.
That's just one example - #BlackLivesMatter was birthed from social media, I know there are hashtags for the black and brown representation on twitter, I just can't remember off the top of my head. Of course there's feminism ones too.
I guess the point i'm trying to say is these phrases, groups & communities aren't created online for the approval of those who aren't part of that group/community - they're not trying to themselves a favour or gain approval from outsiders they're speaking to those who can relate to their experiences.
And if you feel offended, it might be a defense mechanism that you immediately go to without even realising it.
As for white privilege, at this point I think it's being deliberately misinterpreted.
The moment you're trying to debunk white privilege based on individual anecdotal instances you're not actually talking about white privilege but rather individual experiences - and what you or I, or a homeless guy or Beyonce go through on an individual level isn't representative of the broad average of what 10's of millions of people go through - it's important not to lose sight of that.
I feel like a lot of people push back on the term 'white privilege' because they immediately think that it means that white people are richer than others, or they don't go through any hardship or difficulty in life - and feel the need to tell their own individual Started From The Bottom story as a way to prove that, that's not the case.
The same applies for any discriminatory action - sexism, racism, homophobia etc.
Wouldn't be surprised if you're not the only one who feels that way! But thank you for the kind words