Least footballer looking footballers

Always fascinated me how Rogerio Ceni scored 130 goals as a goalkeeper while managing to look like an accountant the whole time.
I had to check this as I just couldn't get my head round it! What an amazing guy! Thanks for the info, incredible stuff!
 
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Looks like a stag do that's come down to Newquay or up to Newcastle.
 
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You found paradise in Old Trafford, watched a good game, enjoyed good living. Sir Alex Ferguson protected you; and there were superstars. And you didn't need a friend of me. But now you come to me and you say "Don Dimitar give me goals." But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married, and you ask me to score goals for money.
 
Modric...he looks like an extra from Lord of the Rings.
 
Chris Sutton looks like he should be a captain of a cricket team.
 
In my mind, Niall Quinn was the Chairman of Sunderland who started himself up front in the midst of an injury crisis and never went back to the boardroom.
 
Pat Nevin, or at least he will tell you that every second sentence in his book.
 
You found paradise in Old Trafford, watched a good game, enjoyed good living. Sir Alex Ferguson protected you; and there were superstars. And you didn't need a friend of me. But now you come to me and you say "Don Dimitar give me goals." But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married, and you ask me to score goals for money.

Best post in the thread, by far. :D
 
A lot of teams used to have a few players that looked about 50 for most of their career. Two of the more well known ussr player examples would be Bessonov and David Kipiani. Bessonov was actually a very fit, athletic player by 80s standards, but he looked old and weather beaten even in the youth teams.

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I am shocked nobody has mentioned Vincent Kompany. Looks like that guy from the Simpsons who drank some syrup and his head swelled out like a balloon. Total non footballer. Maybe an evil genius.
 
Ben Chilwell looks like his picture should be on the wall at the hair salon.
 
The real question here is which is worse - the baggy jeans era or the current skinny jeans era?

"Current" skinny jeans era? Skinny jeans have been dead for a few years now, thank god.
 
A lot of teams used to have a few players that looked about 50 for most of their career. Two of the more well known ussr player examples would be Bessonov and David Kipiani. Bessonov was actually a very fit, athletic player by 80s standards, but he looked old and weather beaten even in the youth teams.
Khurtsilava takes the cake, surely? A centre-back, and a brilliant one no less!

Short (just 175 cm/5'9'' tall) and often overweight but still strong as an ox and even deceptively quick.

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Not really not look like footballers - but these are the ones that would look like they wouldn’t be any good (but are ridiculously good):

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An actual footballer, not one of the dads at primary school.
 
Oliver Neuville!! Just thought of him a couple of days ago,
how he looked like an actor who has a couple of scenes in a Will Ferrell movie
 
Oliver Neuville!! Just thought of him a couple of days ago,
how he looked like an actor who has a couple of scenes in a Will Ferrell movie


Not sure about his football looks, but he's certainly the least German looking German.
 
Alwys thought Jonas Hofmann looks as if he's about to sell you a life insurance

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On this topic, Kai Havetz looks like the kid I used to bully at elementary school.
 
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Ounahi, a great footballer on his own, but his body frame is very( you could even say too) skinny for someone in the top stages.
 
Di Maria looks like something out of Harry Potter.