Least footballer looking footballers

Which begs the question: is the ultimate fashion tactic to never fully commit? You commit enough to be respected by the people who care about such nonsense, but not so much that people will piss themselves laughing at your photos in the future.

There are a few minimum effort casual styles that almost always look good.

All black (and slim/casual fit, not buggy shit)
Colour block, just don't overdo it
Lumberjack
Jeans & white tee
 
Gundogan. Can’t believe he gets about the pitch as much looking like he does.
 
There are a few minimum effort casual styles that almost always look good.

Oh yes, I'm familiar(and doing so).

I was thinking more about those who wish to jump on trends. You're bound to look like a fool in a few years time, but I guess not going all in will minimize the damage.
 
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Marc Overmars looks like a model for some shaving advert

Emanuel Petit looks more like one who works in the arts or music than football

Michael Owen wouldn’t look out of place in a used car showroom
 
Samir Nasri also looks like he's working at a fast food restaurant nowadays

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Ricardo Kaka- Looks like an actor of cheesy romantic films that women fawn over.
 
Lukaku a few years back looked like he was auditioning for world's strongest man with the amount of muscle he was carrying.
Griezmann- male model
Michael Owen- estate agent
 
Gustavo Scarpa has to be pretty high on this list.

Looks like that annoying backpacker hitting on all the girls while you procrastinate
 
Ribery - a Bond villain
Milner - manager at Mickey D’s
Robben - Garbagetruck chaffeur
Fowler - a slightly gay british actor
Dirk Kuyt - that insecure fast food employee from the Simpsons
 
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Matic- like an accountant
Maguire- like a janitor
Shaw- like some random fan who get to share the pitch with actual footballers.
 
Now, from the players I have watched, Gary McCallister. However, I remember him already in his mid 30s, so I may be unfair to him.
He looks like a villain from the 90s Arnold action movies.
 
The Newcastle brothers especially Matty, Sean looks like he should be at the boozer preparing to go for all night rave and Matty looks like he'd be at the boozer but in the very back corner playing Dungeons&Dragons
 
Jorginho has been great for us, but he has the body of a 14 year old.

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Mike Phelan factory line manager
Brendan Rogers creepy office manager..
 
I've always felt Van Persie really did not look like a footballer. I'd always get surprised when he pulled off a sublime piece of skill and beat a player as it never looked like he would be capable of it.