How many goals could YOU score up front for United in a season?

Probably like 30, how hard can it be to kick a ball? Correct answer is obviously 0.
 
goalscholes said:
If anyone says any more than 1 very flukey goal, they’re in denial.

I doubt 99% on this forum would be able to score more than 2 or 3 League 2 goals. Just remember how good that kid at school was who didn’t even make it as a professional.

Weghorst looks too slow to score, but in reality he’s probably faster than most on here.
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Obviously people don't realize how difficult is to become a professional football player.
I've played non-league football when I was younger and there were guys that could do anything with a football, would dribble and score for fun and they never made it to the first league, and I'm talking about an eastern European country, never mind the big leagues.
98% of people couldn't even run for a whole 90 minutes, nevermind kicking the ball properly.
 
I was quality at free kicks and penalties so I'd probably be the first name on the team sheet
 
If Weghorst played a game with a bunch of Caf posters, he'd score on every possession and more time would be spent returning the ball to midfield for a restart than actually playing the game.
 
Zero, it’s probably fair to say it’s a wee bit harder than it looks
 
Big Ben Foster said:
If Weghorst played a game with a bunch of Caf posters, he'd score on every possession and more time would be spent returning the ball to midfield for a restart than actually playing the game.
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The worst striker in League 2 would absolutely obliterate the average caf poster. The difference between the pros and recreational players is monumental.
 
I doubt i'd get a single touch of the ball.

I played against Tom Beugelsdijk in a family tournament game once. Beugelsdijk is a sort of cult, really poor Dutch central defender who played for Den Haah, famed for being shite on the ball even for a shite defender.

Playing him in real life he looked like fecking Zidane. Football is hard.
 
fergiewherearethou said:
Obviously people don't realize how difficult is to become a professional football player.
I've played non-league football when I was younger and there were guys that could do anything with a football, would dribble and score for fun and they never made it to the first league, and I'm talking about an eastern European country, never mind the big leagues.
98% of people couldn't even run for a whole 90 minutes, nevermind kicking the ball properly.
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I played and worked with a guy who was on the books in Liverpools academy from the age of 10 to about 15, before he got released, fell out of love with football and decided to pack it all in and just play with his mates.

He was honestly the best player I'd ever played with. He was a centre back in the academy, but I've never seen skill like it tbh, he'd tear everyone to shreds. His touch, vision, control, skills, etc were all like so far ahead of everyone. I felt sorry for him as he'd beat about 8 players, twice, then square it for me with a goalie to beat and I'd spunk the chance 9 times out of 10.

The fact he was so good, but was released makes you realise that the top level professionals who do make it are SOOOOOO fecking good.
 
If my knee wasn't wrecked, I could have been a professional footballer.yes, it's here
 
Zero. We barely create anything, never mind with me on the end of it.
 
0. Maybe 1 if they put me on pens.

Not only am I lasting about 10-15 minutes before completely gassing at the intensity of the game, in the rare instance I'm getting a chance in front of goal, there's no way I'm 1. fleet footed enough to navigate enough space against PL level defenders, 2. hitting the ball cleanly enough, and 3. actually beating a PL level keeper.
 
Big Ben Foster said:
If Weghorst played a game with a bunch of Caf posters, he'd score on every possession and more time would be spent returning the ball to midfield for a restart than actually playing the game.
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When I was in college we used to play pickup basketball games in a gym on campus. The games were pretty competitive there we a lot of former high school players. One day, a short (for basketball standards) unassuming kid walked into the gym to run a few games. His team went on to win 4 consecutive games and he couldn't be guarded. Someone asked him if he played for anyone and it turns out he played at a Divison II college (not even D1). Sometime later this older guy walks in (had to be in his early 30s) and he proceeds to absolutely dominate the unassuming kid as if he wasn't just torching the entire gym. He also dominated the run of games that day. Later I found out, he had just been released from a Polish professional team and just enrolled to get his master's degree.

Different sport but it illustrates just how great the delta is between professional athletes and the rest of us mortals.
 
MackRobinson said:
When I was in college we used to play pickup basketball games in a gym on campus. The games were pretty competitive there we a lot of former high school players. One day, a short (for basketball standards) unassuming kid walked into the gym to run a few games. His team went on to win 4 consecutive games and he couldn't be guarded. Someone asked him if he played for anyone and it turns out he played at a Divison II college (not even D1). Sometime later this older guy walks in (had to be in his early 30s) and he proceeds to absolutely dominate the unassuming kid as if he wasn't just torching the entire gym. He also dominated the run of games that day. Later I found out, he had just been released from a Polish professional team and just enrolled to get his master's degree.

Different sport but it illustrates just how great the delta is between professional athletes and the rest of us mortals.
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Similar type story when I was around 15/16 my friends sister was going out with a Peterborough youth player who was on the fringes of the 1st team, my friend and I played at a decent level at a local youth level in the top leagues of our towns, we thought we could give this guy a game used to hammer him for only playing for Peterborough etc, one day he had enough and played a game with us and our friends it was like someone put Roberto Baggio out there or something the kid was unreal and he was only playing at half tilt you could tell, there are levels and levels to this, if Mctominay turned up at my Thursday night 5 aside he'd be a god out there.
 
Anyone who even played against low level semi pros will know that in the premier league you would barely get a touch.
And even if you did, it'd probably fly up in the air and within seconds someone would smash you and the ball.

You might simply be in the right place once or twice a season and it fall for you yards from goal though.
 
Probably 20 or something, in FIFA game.

In reality? Absolutely less than that. I’d say 0.
 
11101 said:
:lol:

If you're not a pro somewhere already you've absolutely no chance.
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Semi pro means different things in different countries, it's all down to luck at some point and the better and fitter you are then the higher chance obviously. I agree most people have no chance if they are not a pro already.
 
Don’t think I’d score a goal.

That being said, I reckon I comfortably have a better first touch than Wout.
 
You just have to give me penalty duties for a season. I'm very positive that I would have a shot on goal.
 
If anyone says more than zero on here they are seriously deluded
 
I once had a kickaround with charly musonda jr. Safe to say I wouldn’t score a single goal at that level unless it was accidental
 
The best comparable level is the telethon / hearts’ games celebrities and former sportsmen do to raise funds for charities… where you always find the unexpected comic or singer or actor seeming Messi among the bald, overaged and overgrown geezers … @horsechoker will be our Zidane against +60yo Steve Bruces & Big Sams.
 
I can bet anything anyone on this website won’t be able to get away a single shot on goal let alone score in the premier league.

forget that even a shot.
 
I used to play a racquet sport with a retired former United/England player, a neighbour. I was in my early 20s and he was in his mid 40s.
Even having retired years before that he was just better with his hand/eye coordination, fast twitch muscles etc. (And I was fit back then and played a bunch of sports for my school.)

Pro-atheletes are just at the 1% of 1% level. That's why caftards complaining about how the players are useless, 'championship level' etc have no clue what it takes to be at their level, competing against others of that level.
 
Anyone remember Chicharito’s goal against Chelsea when he kicked it in off his own face?

Yeah, I might get a couple of those in a season.
 
lsd said:
If anyone says more than zero on here they are seriously deluded
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Assuming you play at a half decent level are max 35 and, more importantly are fit, 1 goal from open play is realistic. It would be from within the box and probably quite scrappy but you’d get chances every game and you’d be training every day so your level would actually get very good (comparatively to where you started) as would your fitness.

You’d make the team massively worse, you’d get made to look a fool almost every time you were involved and fans would turn on you after the novelty wore off but that deflected Bruno shot that comes off your shin at home to Bournemouth will go with you to the grave.
 
My friends call me fecksake, which loosely translates to Weghorst in Dutch.

So zero.
 
I played today and I'm a physical wreck, could barely move, like it felt as if the gravity was doubled. At one point someone called me HMS MoZF. It was brutal.

I still scored several goals so I'd say one. A lucky bounce, a goal mouth scramble, shin in from two yards.
 
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