How many goals could YOU score up front for United in a season?

Morpheus 7 said:
I know, some delusional clowns in here:lol: How many goals, more like how many minutes before the club would release yus. A few Ali Dia's floating around in here tonight:lol:
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The OP says you play every 90 minutes of every game. It doesn't ask how your career would pan out if you cheated your way to a contract.

If you quite literally stood on the penalty spot, avoided any physical challenges, and just waited for rebounds and open goals (which would be my method) - it's not ridiculous to think you could put the ball in the net three or four times in 40+ games.
 
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Speak said:
The OP says you play every 90 minutes of every game. It doesn't ask how your career would pan out if you cheated your way to a contract.
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Aww right sorry, I must have got carried away of how realistic that situation would be.
 
Be playing 50+ games should be scoring 2 goals, by goal hanging shots coming of the post / goalkeeper
 
Rowem said:
I don't think you understand the thread at all.
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The hypothetical situation of being the main striker for Manchester United, how many goals could I score from open play(playing 90 minutes all season). I understand the thread, I just find it funny how many goals people think they could score like I said this in a previous page. I think too many people have been playing FIFA in here and are living in fantasy land, that's all. I play for a local team as well as playing astro turf weekly, it's just naive to think that people think they could score at that level.
 
Morpheus 7 said:
The hypothetical situation of being the main striker for Manchester United, how many goals could I score from open play(playing 90 minutes all season). I understand the thread, I just find it funny how many goals people think they could score like I said this in a previous page. I think too many people have been playing FIFA in here and are living in fantasy land, that's all. I play for a local team as well as playing astro turf weekly, it's just naive to think that people think they could score at that level.
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I think you've got a point, but I don't think your point applies equally for all people. Basically, I think the difference here is, are you a skill player or are you just a big athlete. A big athlete is going to have opportunities from set pieces/crosses regardless of their baseline footballing technique.

Whilst been useless in build up play, I'd have been a solid donkey/poacher. Tall (6'4), fast (4.6 something 40), athletic, good hops (34-36 inches), absurd aggression (scored youth goals blocking keeper clearances with my face), and my best trait was anticipation. If I was undroppable and played every single game, I'd score some for sure.
 
1 goal i can understand, maybe a Herrera shot deflected off your bum. But anyone who says more than 1 is deluded. This is the premier league, maybe in the 3rd division you could score a few if you're still athletic and have some talent.
 
I think I'd get one. If somehow we weren't knocked out of all the cups in the first round or groups because I was if anything helping the opposition. In 50 games, I think I could work my way into an unmissable situation at least once. It genuinely isn't that hard to get lucky in several thousand minutes of football.
Also, bonus point, I can walk without falling over and my touch isn't as bad as Falcao's was for United. So if we go by that I could definitely match his tally of what 4? Hear that Woody, I'll possibly score at some point and I work for minimum wage, make it happen.
 
Maybe one or two. Surely there's a lucky bounce or deflection that I can somehow put it into the net after 40+ full matches.
 
0. I'd be more offside than I can count. And I'd be knackered 3 mins into the game.

I also have this tendency to shit bricks every time I'm in front of the goal about to shoot so I'd put every gilt edged chance wide.
 
Garethw said:
It's so difficult to judge something like this.

Adam Burchill (former Gillingham and Dover player and Arsenal trainee) went to my secondary school and all of our PE teachers were raving about him and saying that he was the biggest talent they'd seen in 30 odd years of teaching.

He was a few years younger than me, but you could see he was in a different class to the rest of us. He literally ran rings round people and looked destined for big things.

I guess my point is if someone with his level of talent was still light years behind professional footballers, I doubt many of us (especially me) would even score a goal in the premier league.
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It's a lot to do with dedication and hard work. You've got to have the mentality and dedication. A lot of players have the talent, it isn't enough.
There's a 2nd league Icelandic player that was at Reading at the same time as Gylfi (slightly younger). Too much partying. At the time of his transfer he was seen as the bigger talent.
There's a keeper in the Icelandic PL that has a few caps. He was snapped up at an early age by Bayern. Got to train with Kahn in his prime. Didn't take it too seriously, probably thought quite a lot of himself. Bragged about having stolen Kahn's training bag as a souvenir.
 
So I'll play 38 games, I'll score one goal in each half so that gives me a total of 76 goals next season, wow I'm pretty good.

Realistically it would depend on how many chances I get in the first three minutes of each game so none. I might get one if the goalie scuffs a clearance as I'm lying on the edge of the penalty area.
 
One or two if i was lucky. I play 2-3 times a week at a reasonable amateur standard and as a striker so i reckon id have a better chance than most, but still probably zero. Ive played against a couple of ex Premier League players (shit ones) and they were impossible to get away from let alone finish a chance against.

Any current PL defender will have such good positioning and tracking that unskilled lumps like us will never get near a goalscoring opportunity in the first place. You might get a couple of lucky tap ins at most.
 
11101 said:
One or two if i was lucky. I play 2-3 times a week at a reasonable amateur standard and as a striker so i reckon id have a better chance than most, but still probably zero. Ive played against a couple of ex Premier League players (shit ones) and they were impossible to get away from let alone finish a chance against.

Any current PL defender will have such good positioning and tracking that unskilled lumps like us will never get near a goalscoring opportunity in the first place. You might get a couple of lucky tap ins at most.
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Well you've got to tell us who it was you played against now, mainly because I'm dying to know.
 
Van Gaalacticos said:
Well you've got to tell us who it was you played against now, mainly because I'm dying to know.
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Michael somebody or other, he played for Blackburn a bunch of times in the late 90s apparently.

Our amateur leagues here are a breeding ground for old pro players to have a laugh in. Nicky Butt even ran out for one team when he lost a bet in the pub :lol:.
 
11101 said:
Michael somebody or other, he played for Blackburn a bunch of times in the late 90s apparently.

Our amateur leagues here are a breeding ground for old pro players to have a laugh in. Nicky Butt even ran out for one team when he lost a bet in the pub :lol:.
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Duberry? I currently play top flight football (in Wales lol) but have played as high as League 1 in my early 20's and scored double figures from midfield in a mediocre team) - I reckon with the service I'd get at United I would bag 10-15.
 
NL Max said:
I have the strenght of Di Maria, top speed of a walking Mertesacker and on form my technique is compareable to a mid-slip Gerrard/Falcao. Compareing my stamina to Anderson would be harsh on him and the only way I could score would be a heartattack to the opposition goalie.
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:lol::lol:

Top speed of a walking Mertesacker describes me quite well too. Still reckon I could get a couple of goals if I played every game.
 
If you have played up front before, played at least semi pro, solid first touch, pace, stamina and technique.. I'd say you can definitely score 5 hopefully by end of season if you have played that many games without coming off.

Guys like Falcao were not given regular games, if they played every minute without getting dropped I'm sure he'd have got 10 but no offence he looked so bad, I'd take someone from the Caf over him anyday based on this season. . He'd struggle to get into my Law firm football side.
 
Nucks said:
I think you've got a point, but I don't think your point applies equally for all people. Basically, I think the difference here is, are you a skill player or are you just a big athlete. A big athlete is going to have opportunities from set pieces/crosses regardless of their baseline footballing technique.

Whilst been useless in build up play, I'd have been a solid donkey/poacher. Tall (6'4), fast (4.6 something 40), athletic, good hops (34-36 inches), absurd aggression (scored youth goals blocking keeper clearances with my face), and my best trait was anticipation. If I was undroppable and played every single game, I'd score some for sure.
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I would agree with you, if a big amateur athlete was anything else than a poor professional athlete. There is more chances that some people here are decent enough technically but totally out of their depth physically and mentally.

Edit: And in that scenario if doping is excluded, we won't be able to play every week and train everyday.
 
Sparky Rhiwabon said:
Duberry? I currently play top flight football (in Wales lol) but have played as high as League 1 in my early 20's and scored double figures from midfield in a mediocre team) - I reckon with the service I'd get at United I would bag 10-15.
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A quick Google looks like it was Mike Newell I was thinking of
 
Raees said:
Guys like Falcao were not given regular games, if they played every minute without getting dropped I'm sure he'd have got 10 but no offence he looked so bad, I'd take someone from the Caf over him anyday based on this season. . He'd struggle to get into my Law firm football side.
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This must be a joke :lol:
 
:lol: yes it was but I hope I ain't giving Falcao too much credit.
 
0, and I'm actually pretty good at football. It's the lack of stamina that will kill me so fast.
 
what's the premier league record? i'd imagine i'd get nowhere near that.
 
Black Adder said:
0. Anyone thinking otherwise must be in serious denial.
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I guess it depends but if you play semi-professional football, and I'm sure there some people on this board who do, they might actually get one or two goals if they were allowed to start every game.

Naturally for the average pub team footballer like me the answer would always be 0.
 
Winrar said:
0. I'd be more offside than I can count. And I'd be knackered 3 mins into the game.

I also have this tendency to shit bricks every time I'm in front of the goal about to shoot so I'd put every gilt edged chance wide.
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It doesn't matter if you're offside, your teammates wouldn't pass to you.

You could spend the entire game waiting inside the opposition penalty box for rebounds.
 
I reckon you'd get 1 or 2 but only because the game would just go on around you. If some bothered to mark you out of the game you'd get 0
 
Id like to think I could bag at least 1. Be one hell of a celebration too. feckin run the ground swinging me cock around if I did lol
 
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