Stobzilla
Adores babies
Signing someone that will break our already ridiculous wage structure and is known to not like Manchester would be a clear indication that nothing has changed. Identify a similar, cheaper player and see how we do with him.
The contract almost certainly wouldn't be the same, at Barcelona at the time pay for new signings was scaled against the 2+million a week Messi was on.
If we have a bid accepted and de Jong's terms are scaled down from where he is (obviously we are banking on a lot there) then he would be a fine addition.