Oh, and i fully agree that Rand was an arsehole of the highest order.
I see your point but let's just agree to disagree on the matter. Just to clarify myself though, i believe the lack of empathy is something that "plagues" most of the main characters, not just the female ones. And despite the WoT being a fantastic story overall, that was a huge turn off for me.
Let us talk about empathy, Red, which you accuse the characters of not having. But what about your own empathy?
Rand was a nice happy kid growing up in a small village, his main ambition being to marry his childhood sweetheart and settle down as a sheep farmer. Then he learns that he may be the Dragon reborn, the incarnation of the most hated man in the world for over 3000 years, a man whose name is synonymous with the devil (the Dark One) in most people's minds, a man who everybody knows had destroyed the world once and believe he will destroy it again. Can you imagine the horror he must have felt?
Rand spends the first three books running away from that horrible destiny, trying to find out whether he was, indeed, the Dragon reborn or whether it was just an Aes Sedai plot to create another False Dragon for their own purposes. Even his best friend, Mat, acts like a dick towards him in the first five books because he (Mat) didn't want to have anything to do with the Dragon. Then, when he accepts his destiny (after Book 3) and starts preparing the world for the Last Battle, everyone he comes across, everyone (except for Min, Loial and the other Superboys) tries to use him for their own purposes. Even Moiraine, before she went through the Tear ter'angreal, was dead set on trying to mold him to suit the White Tower's purposes!
Meanwhile, he is gradually growing insane from the same taint that caused his Lews Therin incarnation to kill everyone he loved 3000 years ago and break the world, and Rand is hanging on to his sanity by his fingernails, still trying to prepare for Tarmon Gaidon. He has the Forsaken after him, the Red Ajah after him, kings and queens manouevering for political advantage instead of uniting to save the world, the Seanchan trying to take over the world, and his mind is getting more and more filled with the taint!
As far as I can see, The ONLY reason he doesn't fully crack under all that pressure and just lay everything to waste around him is the love and support of Min. I consider it absolutely remarkable that he was able to withstand all those pressures and lead the world to seal off the Dark One again.
Now let us talk about your own empathy, Red. Do you really appreciate the impossible pressure he was under? If it were you under that much pressure, how would you have handled it? I know that compared to me Rand was a complete saint; I would have balefired Cadsuane instead of banishing her, and destroyed the entire city of Ebou Dar with Tuon and every Seanchan in it. I find it amazing that so many people complain about Rand's arrogance, and I wonder if they are reading the same story I am! And I wonder, where is the empathy of all these people who are condemning Rand as an absolute asshole ... do they appreciate what he has to deal with, and how would they have acted if they were in Rand's shoes?