Look Willy, there are massive issues at the club:
- There is this midget CB who is not totally suited to play CB in this league. On top of that he is always injured. We need a starter.
- Behind him there is a clown of a goal keeper. We call him Black Barthez on the whatsapp group Lolz. He needs to go.
- We need a LB. The one the club bought a couple of seasons ago went missing and hasn't been seen since. Call off the search, he was useless anyway.
- Then there are these two old mids...the only use those legs have at this stage is we chop them off, deep fry them and serve them at the EOS awards night.
- Then I have a test for you to prove yourself to me. Get 20m for a Brazilian fidget spinner and you'll be forever called a hero. Ashworth, who? If you are getting my drift, Willy....eh...eh...eh.
- A 60m failed project from Chelsea. Let's bin him and the style of play with which I thought I could succeed. New season, new ideas.
- Back-ups are costly these days, Willy. 75m Euros is peanuts in this market for a back-up Striker. We need a starter and this time do things that other clubs can only dream of. Fly Willy, Fly...eh..eh..eh.
Rest, in the next meeting when you bring me solutions to these. In the meantime, I am arranging a call with my agency to help you help me. And yeah, last but not the least, can we get moving on that sweet contract extension. Don't forget to add the clause that give me control of the whole club this time. Good boy, Willy.