Do Manchester United need a dog?

If we can’t get a dog, I’ll settle for regular DOGSO’s, like we got against Forest.
 
There's a good chance we might see the Lindeloff-leash; Muttguire partnership again this year.
 
With all these defensive issues, I really wish we had signed Kim Mangy
 
Surely we can find a spot on the coaching staff for Bastian Schweinhundsteiger and Kieran McKennell
 
Looks like the dog won't happen, going for Reguilon instead.
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I just get the feeling that if we went out to get a dog, Murtough would go to the shop 20 times try and negotiate a price and fail. Then panic on the way home by a hamster, it would bite Ten Hag time he tried to pet it but they would both deny it in a press conference, it would then turn out to be sickly and need hamster surgery, we wouldn't have the right pet insurance, so we would take out a loan to pay for it which would make it so that we don't meet FFP, the hamster would then make a so called full recovery, the players would then draw straws to create a Rota as to who takes it home when. Garnacho draws first, him and the hamster have a hair dressing party, the hamster breaths in to much hair spray and dies. United are left paying the hamsters hospital bill for the next decade.
 
We would have to fatten the dog up so we could teach it to take a dump when we play poorly. Could potentially be quite expensive, so we would have to get him/her/them/they a sponsor.
 
Yes a fecking big nasty pit bull or American Bully, maybe two, keep them locked up in a room and when the Glazers pop over invite them to step in the office, ”after you sirs”, shut and lock door.

Oh not that sort of dog, oh well I still like my idea.
 
I’m sad to say the Park chant is the first thing which came to my head. Unacceptable.

To the dog cage/house!
 
Probably not a good idea to get a dog at the club as it would only be a matter of time before somebody got done for beastiality.
 
Scandi Red said:
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Pretinha is amazing. I initially thought that she was just reacting to her owner’s excitement, but it genuinely looks like she follows and understands what’s happening on the pitch. Not sure if she’d get the intricacies of VAR though…
 
We've been playing hoofball for years, even turning our "modern keeper" into a hoofball artist.
 
Get a dog and call it 'Patch' because that's pretty much what we're doing with the team this season.
 
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