Who pronounces salmon as sal-mon?
Daily Mail
- Thread starter p_ps_sock
- Start date
Fixed. Actually you could amend most of those in exactly the same way.
I fell down the chimbley and went to hospical in an ambliance.
Teen spared jail so he can club baby seals
http://www.worcesternews.co.uk/news/worcester/9474642.Teen_spared_jail_so_he_can_club_baby_seals/
http://www.worcesternews.co.uk/news/worcester/9474642.Teen_spared_jail_so_he_can_club_baby_seals/
Rice for cnuts
Police officers threatened with SPAGHETTI HOOPS in Gloucestershire
http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.u...rshire-today/story-30082214-detail/story.html
http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.u...rshire-today/story-30082214-detail/story.html
Yeah, we got a free sample through the door. It was fairly disgusting, I thought.
The south west really is a hotbed of banality.I tried pearl barley too. Never again. My brief flirtations with fad health foods rarely end well.
I tried pearl barley too. Never again. My brief flirtations with fad health foods rarely end well.
People have been putting that in soup for ever.
Ffs guys stop making my ends look ridiculous
Quite a lot of ammo tbf!'Amazing evidence of my alien abduction' claims UFO spotter John Mooner
Mr Mooner says the images - which show him trying to punch an alien in the face - are 'amazing evidence' of alien abduction and they left him 'speechless'.
http://www.torquayheraldexpress.co....-john-mooner/story-30078820-detail/story.html
Relentless sex noises and loud peeing force man to call in Environmental Health
'I can hear their sexual noises as it is so poorly insulated, you can even hear the springs of the bed squeaking when they climb on it. One day we were eating breakfast in the dining room and you could hear the man peeing in the bathroom above. The constant background noise is just making me ill.'
Read more at http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co....0085182-detail/story.html#bfgzQLFffRLzQMF2.99
http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co....ental-health/story-30085182-detail/story.html
Punching an alien in the face
Very Torquay.Punching an alien in the face
This guy’s chain of thought is a bit disturbing.
Man calls for tougher action on people urinating in Albert Road, Leyton, after police refused to attend
‘I think it is unhygienic because there are lots of children living on the street and if a dog licks it he could lick a child’s face and give them a disease.’
http://www.guardian-series.co.uk/ne...in_his_street_after_police_refused_to_attend/
Man calls for tougher action on people urinating in Albert Road, Leyton, after police refused to attend
‘I think it is unhygienic because there are lots of children living on the street and if a dog licks it he could lick a child’s face and give them a disease.’
http://www.guardian-series.co.uk/ne...in_his_street_after_police_refused_to_attend/
And a bit of a poor argument considering any dog has probably licked their own balloon knot on the regular anyway!
Yes. Or rather, YES.Mail said:
Yeah, like it's from one of those headline-generators, mate.Oh 
It's a genuine Mail story from today's edition, BTW.
Imagine if someone French kissed Cina's mum, then kissed a child though. Humanity would be wiped out by bad aids.
The answer to any of those IS ___ THE CAUSE OF/FUNDING ______ ? questions is a resounding no 100% of the time.
'Amazing evidence of my alien abduction' claims UFO spotter John Mooner
Mr Mooner says the images - which show him trying to punch an alien in the face - are 'amazing evidence' of alien abduction and they left him 'speechless'.
http://www.torquayheraldexpress.co....-john-mooner/story-30078820-detail/story.html
Every single detail is brilliant. Could have been written by Chris Morris.
/Daily Mail
@Jippy my lot aren't covering themselves in glory recently...
Watch the disgusting moment a Cheltenham loo is pushed over with someone inside it
One racegoer got more than he bargained for when he recently visited Cheltenham.
All caught on video, it shows a man using a portable loo at the most recent racing meeting on New Year's Day.
http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.u...ne-inside-it/story-30090182-detail/story.html
Watch the disgusting moment a Cheltenham loo is pushed over with someone inside it
One racegoer got more than he bargained for when he recently visited Cheltenham.
All caught on video, it shows a man using a portable loo at the most recent racing meeting on New Year's Day.
http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.u...ne-inside-it/story-30090182-detail/story.html
'Amazing evidence of my alien abduction' claims UFO spotter John Mooner
Mr Mooner says the images - which show him trying to punch an alien in the face - are 'amazing evidence' of alien abduction and they left him 'speechless'.
http://www.torquayheraldexpress.co....-john-mooner/story-30078820-detail/story.html
This is amazing
“The satellite has captured a real alien abduction taking place. The shocking thing about this was that it's me being abducted by a grey alien and the satellite image clearly shows me trying to fight off the grey alien by punching it in the face.
Looking at the image it appears that the alien has blocked my punch and has grabbed my fist and must of been able to subdue me.”
...
...
...
I like the bloke comes out itching to kick off, but has no idea who pushed it over. Is a bit of a cnuty thing to do tbf.
Bob Marley vows to retire from crime after falling asleep in Primark in Hull
A notorious public nuisance who took the name of reggae legend Bob Marley has vowed to turn his back on crime – again – after falling asleep in a shop, and calling a policewoman a "prostitute".'
Police have denied telling Marley to 'get up, stand up' on being called to the shop, and that Marley has been charged with shooting a sheriff.
http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/bob-...mark-in-hull/story-30091711-detail/story.html
A notorious public nuisance who took the name of reggae legend Bob Marley has vowed to turn his back on crime – again – after falling asleep in a shop, and calling a policewoman a "prostitute".'
Police have denied telling Marley to 'get up, stand up' on being called to the shop, and that Marley has been charged with shooting a sheriff.
http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/bob-...mark-in-hull/story-30091711-detail/story.html
I like the way it's billed as a 'career in crime' when he's getting done for things like sleeping in the street and abusing PCSOs.
Drive-by turnip attack shocks Cheltenham visitor
Have you been hit by a vegetable projectile in Cheltenham recently? Let us know.
http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.u...nham-visitor/story-30093641-detail/story.html
Drive-by turnip attack shocks Cheltenham visitor
Have you been hit by a vegetable projectile in Cheltenham recently? Let us know.
http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.u...nham-visitor/story-30093641-detail/story.html
Jippy said:
Don't laugh Steve it's a big deal here at the moment. I walk the streets in constant fear of being twatted with a winter root vegetable.
Even the upper classes here are getting involved too...
Avocados.
http://m.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/...-food-attack/story-30094996-detail/story.html
I can only assume that the middle classes are being pelted with courgettes then.
Close, but it's actually aubergines that are in vogue with the middle classes currently.
It's good to have an ITK in the CE forum.
Should use sweet potatoes. Big hard knotty buggers that would do more damage.
See what you've done, Farage.
Check tomorrow's papers, I'll be out and about tonight.
This is just the start of a veg-based revolution, led by Throwjoe and Steve Kardashian.
I do love my local rag though.
They reached new heights the other day, after a local swan was shot, by making a story out of a video of one of my friends really really stoned reading jokes to a swan.
http://m.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/...rge-the-swan/story-30085852-detail/story.html
Blimey...
Britain is a very bizarre place, and our newspapers are rubbish.
Britain is a very bizarre place, and our newspapers are rubbish.