Daily Mail

Jippy said:
It was only a minnow.

'Don’t reel me in!' Nudist swimming in a lake in Germany left in agony after angler 'catches' his penis on a fishing hook

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...-agony-angler-catches-penis-fishing-hook.html
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Could the argument between the fisherman and the dude with the hook in his cock be any more stereotypically German?

'
The fisherman told me it is not an official bathing lake and he has the right to fish at the spot, which is marked by some signs.'

'I tried to explain to him that he should take into account the many swimmers who use the lake, and that I am unaware of any official prohibition to swim here but he did not care,' he added.
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Pictures can really make a story. This kid's camp, child-like awe at riding on what looks like a pretty crappy ride is inspiring.

Devastated fan of Bubbleworks ride at Chessington World of Adventures changes name by deed poll to Professor Burp in its memory




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http://www.surreycomet.co.uk/news/1...by_deed_poll_to_Professor_Burp_in_its_memory/
 
marukomu said:
That reminds me of when I was a kid. A mate of mine got a hook in his eye when some guy was casting off. He lost the eye.
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He wasn't the kid who stuck a carrot up his arse was he?
 
Don't people ever say to press photographers "No, I'm not posing like that - you'll make me look a right twat"?
 
SteveJ said:
Don't people ever say to press photographers "No, I'm not posing like that - you'll make me look a right twat"?
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There's no evidence of reticence on their behalf. Keeps me amused though. Most of them seem to take an embracing approach, positing with gusto.
 
Jippy said:
There's no evidence of reticence on their behalf. Keeps me amused though. Most of them seem to take an embracing approach, positing with gusto.
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The expressions they're (presumably) asked to bear don't half undermine their supposed righteous anger, chief. :D Anyone would think that they're not truly angry about potholes or the half-empty Haribo packets which Asda sell on occasion. These are some of the major issues of our times after all.
 
SteveJ said:
The expressions they're (presumably) asked to bear don't half undermine their supposed righteous anger, chief. :D Anyone would think that they're not truly angry about potholes or the half-empty Haribo packets which Asda sell on occasion. These are some of the major issues of our times after all.
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It kind of does, I guess, but that poncey kid probably got a free go on that crappy ride, so he's happy.
 
Exactly. Alas, cynicism is the order of the day in this age. [/Johnno]
 
Jippy said:
Pictures can really make a story. This kid's camp, child-like awe at riding on what looks like a pretty crappy ride is inspiring.

Devastated fan of Bubbleworks ride at Chessington World of Adventures changes name by deed poll to Professor Burp in its memory




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http://www.surreycomet.co.uk/news/1...by_deed_poll_to_Professor_Burp_in_its_memory/
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I actually empathise with the guy:lol::lol:
I first went on the ride when I was 13 back in 91. I loved the smell of bubble gum in there, it was like a sensory explosion:nervous:
 
Pogue Mahone said:
What the hell is it? I assumed it was something to do with bubble baths? Or blowing soapy bubbles? Is it actually something to do with bubble gum?
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It started off being themed around a fizzy pop factory, then Imperial Leather started their sponsorship of it in 2006 and it was remodelled (hence the tombstone) to be very loosely themed around their products.

A post somehow filled with even more useless information than normal for me.
 
Dobba said:
It started off being themed around a fizzy pop factory, then Imperial Leather started their sponsorship of it in 2006 and it was remodelled (hence the tombstone) to be very loosely themed around their products.

A post somehow filled with even more useless information than normal for me.
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Imperial Leather, eh? Quality soap. My mum wouldn't throw one out until you were basically washing your hands with the wee black sticker on top.
 
Dobba said:
It started off being themed around a fizzy pop factory, then Imperial Leather started their sponsorship of it in 2006 and it was remodelled (hence the tombstone) to be very loosely themed around their products.

A post somehow filled with even more useless information than normal for me.
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Didn't they also sponsor the log flume at Alton towers?
 
This story is great. The bloke seems baffled that a lion happens to be in a safari's lion enclosure (“I saw this lion coming towards my lorry about 100 ft away and I thought ‘what’s going on here?’”) and is pissed that it bit a hole in his lorry's tyre ("It shouldn’t happen."). Maybe he should just avoid safari parks in future.

“What if he had smashed my side window? I would have been dead and my son would have been dead.”

Dad's anger as lion attacks car


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http://www.kidderminstershuttle.co.uk/news/10684667.Dad_s_anger_as_lion_attacks_car/
 
The comment section for the story is quite funny. Not much sympathy around, unsurprisingly.
 
How empty must your life be to protest about the opening hours of the local council tip? Odd layout on the sign too.
Probably as empty as mine, positing this stuff, although I'm killing time at work
Wiltshire's recycling centres can open an hour early


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Peter Collins angry about restricted opening at the Trowbridge recycle centre..

http://m.wiltshiretimes.co.uk/news/...9_s_recycling_centres_can_open_an_hour_early/
 
Jippy said:
This story is great. The bloke seems baffled that a lion happens to be in a safari's lion enclosure (“I saw this lion coming towards my lorry about 100 ft away and I thought ‘what’s going on here?’”) and is pissed that it bit a hole in his lorry's tyre ("It shouldn’t happen."). Maybe he should just avoid safari parks in future.

“What if he had smashed my side window? I would have been dead and my son would have been dead.”

Dad's anger as lion attacks car


http://www.kidderminstershuttle.co.uk/news/10684667.Dad_s_anger_as_lion_attacks_car/
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With a name like Zacchaeus he probably would've been grateful.
 
The park paid for repairs to his tyre and offered him wristbands, which he refused, as he had to return his son home.
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:lol: Why's that a reason to refuse wristbands?
 
Oh wow, they've got the lawyer that slayed Gawker. Shit got serious.
 
Triple post, but DM back on form with this classic.

Mohammed tops the list of most popular baby boy names in England and Wales as Oliver and Amelia stay favourites (and there are even a few Corbyns!)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3770523/Oliver-Amelia-popular-baby-names.html#comments

Hemingway 5952, Newcadtle upon Tyne, United Kingdom, 44 minutes ago
My grandad who died in the second world war will be turning in his grave, what a country!
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already1984, Chonburi, Thailand, 54 minutes ago
Britain as we know it will die with a whimper not a bang
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Hansel, London, United Kingdom, 1 hour ago
Tony Blair must feel so proud.
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3770523/Oliver-Amelia-popular-baby-names.html#ixzz4J74l0EfN
 
Pogue Mahone said:
Saw this and immediately thought of @Jippy 's thread. God bless the hack who had to pad this out to meet the requisite word count.
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:lol:Thank you. This thread can be a lonely furrow, which should perhaps tell me something.
I'm always wary of stories with no direct quotes tbh. We need nose witness accounts.
 
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