Absolutely Random footballers from the 1990's

Dennis Wise

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Dennis is a very short man, with a very big attitude problem. Also, vastly overrated by fans of the teams he pretended to play for.

Although he admittedly did have more talent than the average thug, he still went on to leave a trail of people looking and staring in disgust, but only when he was wearing his high heels so he could be visible to the naked eye.

Note the beady eyes and vacant stare in the general direction of a taxi rank, probably needing a lift to the west-end ladyboys..


Dennis Wise. Utter cnut.
 
Christopher Peter Armstrong

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Started and ended his career in Wrexham, but played for Milwall, Crystal Palace, Tottenham and Bolton in between. He also made a single guest appearance for England B. Most known for becoming the first Premier League player ever to have failed a drug test, which he did on account of cannabis.

John Robert Scales

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This crazy defender, who won the FA Cup with the crazy gang known as Wimbledon in '88, was sold for as much as £3.5 million to none other than Liverpool in 1994. He became and instant success and surely contributed a lot towards the club's glorious 90s, before he eventually left for Tottenham in 96.

He currently runs a sports and marketing business, but after the peak of his career he also coached the renowned England Beach Soccer team.
 
Danny Cadamarteri

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Everton wonderkid. Had dreadlocks. Could run like shit off a shiney shovel but had a touch that was just shit. Disappeared soon after and got banned for drugs recently.
 
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Efon Ekoku
Rubbish footballer. Played for a good number of clubs, including Wimbledon and Dublin City. Neither of thee clubs exist anymore. This is, probably, all Efon's fault.
Incidentally, he was convinced to play for Dublin City, along with the equally rubbish Carlton Palmer, by Roddy Collins. I'm mentioning this because Roddy is currently seeking to invest in practically every league club in Britain, and I feel it is my duty to inform you all that he is a spoofer and a fool.

His brother was a boxer. Roddy that is.
 
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Sean Dundee

Back in the Premiership 98/99 season, Liverpool thought it would be a good idea to sign striker Sean Dundee.

Liverpool were wrong.
 
Wonder Pigeon said:
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Efon Ekoku
Rubbish footballer. Played for a good number of clubs, including Wimbledon and Dublin City. Neither of thee clubs exist anymore. This is, probably, all Efon's fault.
Incidentally, he was convinced to play for Dublin City, along with the equally rubbish Carlton Palmer, by Roddy Collins. I'm mentioning this because Roddy is currently seeking to invest in practically every league club in Britain, and I feel it is my duty to inform you all that he is a spoofer and a fool.

His brother was a boxer. Roddy that is.
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Is he buying out Carlyle still? Man's a soundbite grabbing muppet. Good shout on Efan Ekoku in general.
 
In the last couple of months, Collins and his crew of cretinous investors have tried to whore themselves out to Longford Town, Rotherham United, Gretna and Dunfermline, all of whom decided they wanted nothing to do with them, despite all being in financial difficulty.
 
Eddie Newton
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Chelsea midfield player who scored in FA and League cup finals (he also won the cup winners cup).
Injury ended his career pretty early and he is now a youth coach at chelsea.

Steady Eddie Newton.
 
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Nii Lampty

Was tipped as the next best thing after winning the Golden Ball in a FIFA underage tournament. Was hailed as the new Pele. Was going to lead Ghana into the big time in international football.

Instead, he played for Coventry. Better look next time there Nii.
 
Ronaldo No.9 said:
Graham Fenton

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Back in April 1996 we needed Blackburn to take something off Newcastle, as it would of effectively end their title challenge. It didnt start good as Newcastle went 1-0 up, on came Fenton as late substitute and he did us proud by scoring both goals to inflict a 2-1 defeat and put us into the driving seat for the league title.

I'll never forget this man :devil:
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Apparently all his family were massive Newcastle fans and after scoring those goals he had his house burned down.
 
Richard Shaw

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Shaw started his career at Crystal Palace, coming up through their youth system. He enjoyed a brief loan spell to Hull City before becoming a major part of the first team, playing in the final of the 1990 FA Cup. Crystal Palace were a Yo-yo-club at the time, hence Shaw experienced several promotions and relegations in his time at the club. He earned a move to Coventry City in November 1995 for £1,000,000. He performed consistently for Coventry over 10 years, making over 350 appearances and scored his first and only goal for Coventry after over 250 games. He won the Player of the Year at the club in 1998/99 and Players' Player of the Year in 2002/03.
 
Addict said:
Richard Shaw

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Shaw started his career at Crystal Palace, coming up through their youth system. He enjoyed a brief loan spell to Hull City before becoming a major part of the first team, playing in the final of the 1990 FA Cup. Crystal Palace were a Yo-yo-club at the time, hence Shaw experienced several promotions and relegations in his time at the club. He earned a move to Coventry City in November 1995 for £1,000,000. He performed consistently for Coventry over 10 years, making over 350 appearances and scored his first and only goal for Coventry after over 250 games. He won the Player of the Year at the club in 1998/99 and Players' Player of the Year in 2002/03.
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I believe that he has just retired from playing football with Millwall the other day. He is still the caretaker manager, though.
 
#65 Bjorn Kvarme

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Back in the days of super Roy Evans and his teams consisting exclusively of wingers, Bjorn Kvarme, an average and somewhat retarded looking continental left back was brought in so Jason McAteer would have a point, and so Evans could play his spasticated 3511 formulation which brough massive success in the Coca-Cola cup. The verdict? a forgettable left back who fancied himself a winger. Ah the mid-nineties, heady days for wing-backs in the premier league. By way of random, pointless trivia, he speaks fluent Irish (or Gay-lick, as its prounced) by reference of living in Galway for a summer.

Bjorn Kvarme
 
#cnut - Luděk Mikloško

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West Ham goalkeeping legend. An absolute git of a man. Had the bollocks to save a ridiculous amount of clear goals when it would have been much easier to sit on his arse and let Andy Cole score, the game-raising arsehole he was and presumably, is. Hope he dies.
 
Wes said:
#cnut - Luděk Mikloško

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West Ham goalkeeping legend. An absolute git of a man. Had the bollocks to save a ridiculous amount of clear goals when it would have been much easier to sit on his arse and let Andy Cole score, the game-raising arsehole he was and presumably, is. Hope he dies.
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He's still a West Ham player, top bloke!
 
Wes said:
#82 Barry Venison

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Notable for having the worst hairstyle of all time, by anyone, ever, uynder any circumstances, not least a wealthy professional footballer who should know better. Other than that an absolutely random and extremely forgettable man who doesn't really bear thinking about, quite how he got a game for England is a mystery. Whilst a pundit for Sky, ordered to have a haircut as nobody could take him seriously.

Barry Venison
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Looks like Gary Barlow.
 
Wes said:
Is he? a coach says Wiki.


Oh and by the way I'm slightly biased when it comes to him, I shouldn't really care either way, but I friggin hate the bloke.
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No he is still registered as a player in case of emergencies

He plays in the reserves every so often, his man job is our goalkeeper coach though. It's good though as we can still using the Ludek Miklosko chant, one of my favourite chants I thought we would never hear again after he joined QPR
 
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