Weird feelings of football

[Amethyst]

Stoke have never won an away game.

The main camera at White Hart Lane is either so low it's as though you're on pitch, or from a blimp 4 miles above the stadium.

Every MLS team's pitch has lines from 10 other sports on it as though it's a gym hall.

 

[rcoobc]

It is now twice as common for a player to regress, than to improve.

Source: I'm a United fan

 

[Big Ben Foster]

There is a common consensus that Zlatan is a world class footballer despite nobody ever seeing him actually play well

Also applies to Cavani.

 

[Lay]

Sunderland have not won a game this season.

 

[amolbhatia50k]

Defensive coaches never get any plaudits i.e. Lucien Favre, Rehhagel,

Jose Mourinho sure does.

 

[JamesB__]

Fraser Forster is Scottish.

 

[Mciahel Goodman]

We never win whenever Gary Neville commentates on our games.

 

[PickledRed]

Fraser Forster is Scottish.

Absolutely.

 

[PickledRed]

There used to be 16 Traores in the league. This is now true of Sakhos.

 

[Amethyst]

Commentators say 'added on time', everybody else that watches football calls it 'injury time'.

 

[Siorac]

Commentators say 'added on time', everybody else that watches football calls it 'injury time'.

To be fair, 'added time' is a far more accurate phrase in this case.

 

[Amethyst]

To be fair, 'added time' is a far more accurate phrase in this case.

I know, because the time can be added for stuff other than injuries but it's out of habit. I've never heard anyone say it that wasn't a commentator.

 

[LeChuck]

There used to be 16 Traores in the league. This is now true of Sakhos.

And before Traores, it was Camaras/Kamaras.

 

[Offside]

West Ham haven't won a game in years.

 

[JamesB__]

Antonio Valencia hasn't aged in eight years, and has never once wavered from his tucked in shirt, white boots look.

 

[Red Devil 26]

All players that lack pace but have a modicum of ability on the ball will be branded 'intelligent'.

 

[Amethyst]

Antonio Valencia hasn't aged in eight years, and has never once wavered from his tucked in shirt, white boots look.

Hernandez hasn't aged either in 5 years.

 

[PickledRed]

Hernandez hasn't aged either in 5 years.

Solskjaer hasn't aged since he was 5 years old.

 

[Cutch]

If a team is winning very comfortably going into added time at the end of a game, the amount of added time reduces from 3-4 minutes to 1-2 minutes.

 

[a_devil_inside]

And before Traores, it was Camaras/Kamaras.

Or Diarra

 

[Donaldo]

Unnecessary corners lead to goals.

 

[iBoss]

Goalkeepers spit on their gloves for no reason.

 

[TwoSheds]

Sylvain Distin has been 29 since about 2002.

 

[Roman Bellic]

Goalkeepers spit on their gloves for no reason.

And then rub the faces/heads of their defenders, i always found that to be very disgusting even for the manliest of men

 

[JamesB__]

Arsenal have never lost a Champions League second leg.

 

[Bubz27]

Chicharito's hair never grows and is never cut. It stays the same length.

 

[Roman Bellic]

Arsenal have never lost a Champions League second leg.

 

[Tincanalley]

TV has a convention in which it picks the commentary position, and makes the TV audience watch from that 'side'. I always think that the team on the left are playing uphill and its slightly easier playing left to right, 'downhill'.

 

[Paolo Di Canio]

No manager ever wore a scarf before Jose Mourinho started doing it

Steve McClaren has a worse combover than Bobby Charlton

Crowds in Europe can make different booing noises than English crowds

Brad Friedel never conceeded against United

Ronaldinho never played against United (Milan Dinho was a stunt double)

Foreign players only went to Chelsea from around 95-99

Barcelona will produce a gorgeous home strip only to produce a hideous away strip in the same season

Craven Cottage pitch was the size of one half of Old Trafford

Black players dont play in goal

The Old Trafford Tunnel and dressing rooms look incredibley shit compared to others around Europe

 

[2 man midfield]

Black players dont play in goal

 

[Boycott]

Barcelona never play during the day time

 

[adexkola]

Ozil is always criticized for being lazy. Even when he's not playing.

 

[Paolo Di Canio]

Barcelona never play during the day time

First time I ever seen them play in the day was last week

 

[Big Ben Foster]

Black players dont play in goal

Only in the World Cup, where they all wear trousers, pull off stunning saves, and then cease to exist afterwards.

 

[Paolo Di Canio]

Only in the World Cup, where they all wear trousers, pull off stunning saves, and then cease to exist afterwards.

either that or there terrible, Steve Mandanda is the only decent one I know, the others Helton and Enyeama are crap

 

[Arruda]

either that or there terrible, Steve Mandanda is the only decent one I know, the others Helton and Enyeama are crap

Nonsense. He's terrific.

 

[Red Stone]

Every season in the Premier League, some previously unknown striker will break through and score a handy amount of goals, only to never be seen or heard of ever again.

This season it's Charlie Austin. Michu, Grant Holt and DJ Campbell are other recent examples.

Also, for some reason, Yakubu has managed to do that exact thing about 10 times in his career.

 

[Roman Bellic]

either that or there terrible, Steve Mandanda is the only decent one I know, the others Helton and Enyeama are crap

Enyeama is better than Mandanda though

 

[TwoSheds]

Vorm, James, Shaka Hislop, Matt Murray, Lee Grant off the top of my head just from English teams.

 

[Lay]

Kameni! Pretty sure we wanted him once.

Back to the thread topic.

Ochoa is still an upcoming goalkeeper that will take Europe by storm.