Weird feelings of football

Games at hand with lesser clubs never get you the points you count on.
 
Frank Grimes said:
The Longstaff brothers are never heard or seen (prob don't exist) until they play Man Utd.
Click to expand...

Ridiculously accurate.

Feel like the name Sean Longstaff was made up for a United transfer rumour and then they just spawn whenever we play them and disappear whenever we don't.
 
Whenever we play a lower table team who haven't beaten us for 40 years, they will beat us.

The next time we play, the stat will have re-set and they still somehow haven't beaten us for 40 years.
 
sugar_kane said:
Whenever we play a lower table team who haven't beaten us for 40 years, they will beat us.

The next time we play, the stat will have re-set and they still somehow haven't beaten us for 40 years.
Click to expand...

This .
I could have sworn Moyes lost us all of these home loss records, so I'm amazed there's any still out there.
 
'Dinking' the ball or 'fizzing' it are incredibly ambiguous terms yet when the commentator says it they always seem to be very good descriptions of the shot you just witnessed. Basically they are so non-descript that they can pretty much apply to any shot (did we have these words before 2017 either?)
 
yipthatman said:
'Dinking' the ball or 'fizzing' it are incredibly ambiguous terms yet when the commentator says it they always seem to be very good descriptions of the shot you just witnessed. Basically they are so non-descript that they can pretty much apply to any shot (did we have these words before 2017 either?)
Click to expand...

There was a great video by I think PaddyPower back in the day about Messi doing the 'scoopy dink' as a pisstake commentary and I've never been able to find it since.
 
It's always sunny at Goodison Park. Even during a national snow storm, the sun would be in the goalkeepers face at Everton.
 
Historically, the bigger the sex pest, the better the pundit
 
Even if we had the 2nd coming of jesus christ as our manager, with an unlimited budget, we'd still be shite.
 
Players that have a 'worldie' immediately follow it up with a 'shocker' the next match and the fans go back to hating them again.
 
Last edited:
Games where two teams share different shades of same kit color are usually boring
 
sugar_kane said:
Prior to 2017 no British football pundit had ever mentioned the word "pressing"

Since 2017 no British football pundit can finish a sentence without mentioning the word "pressing"
Click to expand...
or ‘break the lines’ and ‘Rolls Royce of a player’.
 
Leicester play 38 games per season; however, they only face Spurs and Liverpool and alternate between the two on a weekly basis.
 
United's tactics for 8 years now have been to show up and ride their luck
 
Every team we play no matter what competition it is, every single week they press us incredibly well and seem to be able to keep the ball better than us and are always threatening on the counter attack against us.
 
Luka Modric would have retired years ago if he was playing for anyone other than Madrid.
 
Diving headers used to be a weekly event. I’ve seen more ‘Scorpion’ goals than diving headers in the last 5 years.
 
These days a striker is more likely to substituted if they score a goal than if they don't.
 
Every player who joins United and chooses a high shirt number (above 25) ends up being shit.
 
Whenever there's an amazing comeback in a Premier League match and the commentators say something like 'Only in the Barclays Premier League!' I wonder, for a split second, if comebacks and last minute goals do indeed ever happen in any of the hundreds of other leagues out there, whether all foreign teams just accept the result 5-10 minutes before the end, and how boring that would be.
 
  • 22 year old Diogo Dalot signed for Manchester United 5 years ago, aged 21
  • Man United have never won a game which has gone into extra time
  • There are no examples of players who have gone from a normal haircut to something weird and not instantly turned to shit
  • Man United have never beaten a team who have Ex-Academy players in their squad
 
Last edited:
The game played on or closest to the anniversary of the Munich disaster is also always a shite result for us.
 
Jay Rodriguez exists purely to score once every 50 games. Usually against the big six.
 
90% of teams in the Premier League are performing worse than they did in the league last season.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.