United announce a global multi-year partnership with Mondelēz International (brands include Cadbury, Oreo, Toblerone)

We’re going to need a bigger shirt!

Not necessary. During sub time, instead of taking a bite on a banana, the sub player simply need to spend 5 min in the technical area, making decision on which treats to take, OK may be 2 or 3 since they are so tasty. AND absolutely important to be on TV. The Club can even run a Big Data report on which bar is players' favourite that kind of thing.
 
Toblerones are going to stop having the image of the matterhorns on them as they are no longer going to be produced in Switzerland.

Which player has the finishing of someone who's boots are shaped as Toblerone's?
 
“I BET SHAW LOVES THIS” said every unfunny knobhead on Twitter. If you’re gonna make a joke in this thread it has to be better than that.
I BET I LOVE THIS! actually it makes no use for me as I do not work for Manchester United FC
 
Toblerones are going to stop having the image of the matterhorns on them as they are no longer going to be produced in Switzerland.

Which player has the finishing of someone who's boots are shaped as Toblerone's?
Does that mean they also have to change shapes? What if those boots will look like perfectly efficient boots that look like some hills with perfectly positioned rivers?
 
Bloody hell, I'm going to have to give up Cadbury chocolate bars, oreo biscuits and toblerone now, on top of not being able to eat noodles!
 
Bloody hell, I'm going to have to give up Cadbury chocolate bars, oreo biscuits and toblerone now, on top of not being able to eat noodles!

We're on the same team, apparently, as these Mondelez are clearly whoring themselves out to any fecker who will chuck them some bread in exchange for a biscuit. :mad: