Creating Utopia is a pipe dream, realistically. I don't have the energy to lead some rabble of anarchists and am certain they'd have loads of policy ideas I don't agree with. I might be a cnut, but I'm broadly a happy enough one with my missus and I in our nice flat, a cat and decent holidays.
That's why your idealism ebbed off. You're comfortable. I am too, but have been better. I certainly didn't reach the point where I'd want a French-revolution style of change, who wants a cataclysm when you've got everything you need? I'd welcome non-violent changes, even if their success isn't guaranteed. Because what we're witnessing is a load of bollocks, and I'd rather the unknown than the known bad.
In as little as 10 years my outlook has completely changed. When you live in a country like mine, see 90% of the people you know getting worse off, some in really tragic situations, you force yourself into questioning the system. When you learn that in spite of that there are more rich people in your country than before the crisis, when you read that luxury goods like super-cars and property are on the rise and went unscathed by the crisis, when you read that capital owners got richer and salaries got a massive trump, you'll not only question it but feel some rage. When you're mature enough to realize that the politicians running things are no smarter than you and many are a lot more vile, you feel despair. And this rage and despair will grow the worse off you are. And if this keeps on going, enough people will one day be in a worse-enough situation and in a big enough number, to desire a revolution. We might all be dead by then, but if we see a flailing system shouldn't we want it to change before the worse happens? This is the opposite of desiring cataclysm.
And then there's this feeling I have that the problems we face are the same everywhere. The scale and speed with which they're building up is different, but we all seem to be heading in the same direction, hence why I discuss it in a global perspective instead of a local one.
Some of us are well-off enough to be able to be lazy and never go beyond pub bullshit in message boards, I'm certainly closer to you or Pogue in that matter than I am to make a call-to-arms. I wouldn't call this posture "leaning right" though. Just leaning lazy, and understandably so. Leaning right is helping perpetuate the system either because you benefit from it or because you're too ignorant to realize you're being ripped off.
And I'm using "right" here in very broad terms, because what they call the main left-wing political party here is certainly part of that establishment I'm beginning to hate, and certainly the same applies in most of Europe.