Excitement on the RedCafe Excitement Index (REI) inched up today, as baseless rumours circulated that the club had agreed terms with prospective recruit Vidal.
REI had struggled to gain momentum last week as claims and counterclaims were made by nobody credible, with attention firmly fixed on the World Cup.
With players - and managers - returning from Brazil, this week has long been earmarked as the start of Transfer Silly Season. Observers had hoped REI would start trading strongly, as football enthusiasts filled the vacuum in their lives with baseless speculation.
However, many have been disappointed with the persistent pessimism of Man United fans.
@amolbhatia100, from the internet, said: "This is one of those i won't get excited about until it's official." Others nodded sagely from behind their computers.
But there were pockets of muppetry amid the gloom, and with the postcount currently running at around 20 per hour in the absence of actual events, there is a tantalising prospect of triple digit hourly postcounts if market gurus James Ducker or Mark Ogden deign to comment on the matter.
REI is up 124% year to date, though most of this performance was registered in the two week period straddling the sacking of former manager David Moyes. Indeed, 30% of that return came in a single hour following his dismissal, with analysts describing that announcement as "a cyberspunkfest."
Reporting by a very bored person.