Fecking hell, they've closed the Sneijder thread. I was about to post this in there, have to post it in here instead.
Can't wait for deadline day/night to come, sitting unpatiently by my monitor, pressing f5, cock in hand, half-heartedly ***ping away to stories about Nigel Reo-Coker to Brentford or nipple-slip pictures of Emma #Watson, until those last 20 minutes where we actually think @Sneijder's gonna sign. I will be furiously going for it, so as to time my climax with that of Sneijders seemingly inevitable arrival, only for it to become clear that he will in fact, not join us until the january transfer window at least, as the deadline slowly sails away in front of my sore eyes, and my equally sore cock.
Then I'll shamefully put it back in, before returning to #bed, tail between my legs, and cursing myself for waiting until 4pm to call it a day, clinging to the very last bits of hope, when I know I have to go to work early next day. You all know the feeling. Every bloody @window.
@Fecking Sneijder.
(I've carefully added the appropriate symbols as to make this reminiscent of your everyday twitter-bollocks-"rumour.")