OK, I have to admit Hogan, Austin and Rock in the ring together is really cool. Just don't wrestle each other. OK, that segment dragged. Skipped a lot of it.
Triple H vs. Daniel Bryan
Opening with HHH vs Bryan? Makes sense, as they'd need a rest before the WWEWHC match. Game of Trips entrance is epic. The set is fantastic, by the way, and air hostess Steph is hot. Bryan just...walks out. Although that makes sense too, Trips being all "I ain't paying for no fancy entrance shit for him." The HHH punch to a suicidally diving Bryan looked nasty. The end sequence to this match was great, and Trips sold the Running Knee awesomely. I think the match suffered from being the first of a two part series, as they weren't able to do too much in the ring without making Bryan's performance later seem unrealistic. ***1/2. Trips murders Bryan after the match in an attempt to prove my theories wrong, the dick.
New Age Outlaws & Kane vs. The Shield
NAO not allowed an entrance. Shield wearing badass mask things Much as I like NAO and Kane, I hope they're not the last Wrestlemania opponents for The Shield (I'd rather see someone less... chronologically challenged). A double Triple Powerbomb! A...sextuple Powerbomb? feck maths. Match was fun, but too short to rate any higher than *1/2. That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it.
The Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
I'm so glad I'm only doing notes and not a full play by play. Zach Ryder eliminated by 3MB. WHAT KIND OF A WORLD IS THIS, WHEN JOBBER ELIMINATES JOBBER? David Otunga is alive! Another Kofi miracle escape?! This one was really impressive though, could easily have gone wrong in a very nasty way. Cesaro and Big Show are the final two. A great new talent being eliminated in the final two by someone past their prime? NEVER. Wait, Cesaro won? I take back my smarkiness! The elimination was cool too, him lifting Show like that. I hope this is the start of a push for him. Hard to rate Battle Royals, but I had a lot of fun watching this. I'm going to say ***.
Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena
OK, Bray's entrance is awesome. That guitar solo out of nowhere made me think another entrance was starting. Cena with a toned down entrance - a sign of the seriousness of this match for him, perhaps? Or did they run out of ideas? Either way, I'm hyped for this match. This is a bit like Kane's "Embrace the Hate" storyline, only good. Normally I'd moan about the crowd booing Cena, but in this match it actually has a cool effect of looking like it's contributing to Cena's inner turmoil. Bray countering The Five Knuckle Shuffle by being a crab is awesome - Cena falling over especially. The image of the crowd singing for Wyatt would be cool if they did it for more than three seconds at a time. They're following the buzzards and then wandering down the wrong street by mistake. Cena puts Harper through the barricade in the gentlest barrier break of all time. Sucky ending. I'm fine with Cena not giving in to the monster, but I wanted Bray to win
. Match was decent. **
Lol, that dude next to Cena's dad clearly pissed off but trying not to show it. He's all "yep, well done John. Totally not mad. fecker."
Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker
Oh hey, that idea everyone has had for every Wrestlemania in the past of using THe Undertaker's old victims during the entrance is finally being done by WWE. WWE spending as little time as possible on Punk's name. That's right Taker, nothing is more scary than a hat that has twenty different...whatever the feck those things are...on it. Shiny = scary. I can hear high-pitched screaming when Taker has Lesnar in the chokeslam, and I'm not sure if it's Heyman or Lesnar. This match is so far on par with the second Triple H vs. Undertaker match. I hated that match. I like how Lesnar and Taker decided to go straight to the "we're both exhausted and going to fight really slowly now" thing so early in this match. It's not at all dull. "The King of the Jungle's last stand" says JBL. So I've just gotten used to Undertaker being a zombie biker cowboy, and now you're telling me he's a fecking lion too? This new half-Ming the Merciless/half Road Warrior look Taker has going on is really distracting as well. All of this really slow, really "dramatic" stuff would be so much more effective if they hadn't been doing it for the entire match. If that was a Last Ride, then we might as well start calling a DDT a Brainbuster. Um...wait, what? Lesnar won?! Um...hilarious crowd reactions...um...
Right, um...let me just talk about this for a second. Forget about the match, which sucked (*). Let's look at Lesnar beating The Streak. My main problem with it is "why Lesnar?" What does he gain from this? If Undertaker had had a shitty match against a Cody Rhodes, or a Roman Reigns, hell, even a Zach Ryder, I'd be a little more pleased, but Lesnar gains nothing from this. He's already an established star, and he's just going to go on holiday now. I don't get this decision at all. I almost hope Undertaker retires now, because that was less about Lesnar earning an incredible victory, and more Undertaker being put out of his misery.
Divas Invitational
Jesus Christ Vickie. My ears! They burn
. Crowd does not care about this match one bit. I think I hear a CM Punk chant. Loving the optimism there, but I'm not sure he'd return for this match. AJ wins a match that happened. *1/2 (yes, better than Undertaker/Lesnar - it was at least short)
Randy Orton vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan
Wow, this band isn't very good live. Lol at how Batista's twitter handle that they're advertising spells his name Bautista. Doesn't look very good when your graphic is arguing over the spelling of a name. One-armed YES chants from Bryan. This match has been pretty entertaining - mainly down to Orton and Bryan, but Batista's doing his part. Oh, here's The Authority. Road Dogg's referee brother is here! This is really overbooked, but I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying the mini-Evolution reunion too. That Batista Bomb/RKO thing was awesome. Bryan being stretchered out now, time for his Mankind at KOTR '98 moment? (The getting off the stretcher, not the falling off a cell bit). Yep, he's going back! That Spear from Batista to Bryan's face looked nasty as hell. Credit to Batista, by the way, he might not be as talented as the other two here, but he's played his part very well. If I was being really critical of this match, I could say that it's been too story heavy, too finisher heavy, but frankly I don't care, I'm really invested in it. BRYAN WON! YES! Some kid and some woman hugging Bryan in the ring now. No idea who they are. I really enjoyed that. On a technical level it was about a ***, but for making me mark out, I'm going to give it ****.
So that was Wrestlemania 30. Overall I enjoyed the show, with just one match that I really disliked. Some great moments there, especially Bryan holding the titles, which will hopefully become a "Wrestlemania moment" on par with "the boyhood dream has come true."
