23/24 Season Preview - West
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23/24 Season Preview - West (and also Skizzlet)
@sebsheep @Heine @The Cat @Dr. Dwayne @BenitoSTARR @altodevil @V.O. @weetee @Skizzo (I forgot Skizzlet last update, big whoops)
Skizzlet - Atlanta Hawks (37-45)
Well well well, look at the Hawks and their three 70+ rating players. They've not got a whole lot behind those, but that's a pretty good start. I was quite surprised that Atlanta missed the playoffs last season, and I'd be surprised if they do it again this season. Skizzlet himself had a pretty bad summer, but at 24 he's still got time to recover and grow further. And as a Center he can be effective at a far lower overall rating than 70 in any case. He's a big lad in a big team, so the way for Atlanta to get back into the playoffs could simply be to bully smaller teams. Which is most of them.
Dr. Junior - Oklahoma City Thunder (45-37, 1st Round)
After several decent-but-not-spectacular years in Cleveland, followed by a couple downright bad ones, Dr. Junior has decided to take the jump and move all the way to Oklahoma City. The Thunders were already a pretty good team, so you'd think the addition of our man would elevate them even further. It sure doesn't hurt that Scottie Barns took a veritable leap over the summer, leaving Dr. Junior with a second star to take some of the load.
weeweetee & Lil' V.O. - Houston Rockets (53-29, Conference Finals)
Congratulations to the Houston Rockets! After the recent Spurs supernova, they are now officially the shallowest contender in the NBA. I guess that's a natural consequence of paying your two best players nearly $90 million. Not that they don't deserve it, of course. The fact that Houston have very good regular seasons followed by pretty good playoff runs is completely down to weeweetee and Lil' V.O.. Just like the Knicks, the duo has consistently been foiled by the Spurs for years. The fact that the latter have split up does by no means guarantee success, but it certainly makes it way more likely. And while weeweetee might have gotten a bit worse, he was already very good, and it might well be balanced out by Lil' V.O.'s improvements.
The Cub - Portland Trailblazers (19-63)
If Houston are the shallowest contender, Portland must be the shallowest non-contender. The Trailblazers have two very good players, one pretty good player, and three decent players. Though it should be noted that they've managed to assemble a team that actually makes sense, as far as positions goes. Some teams have 15 okay players and still can't manage that, so kudos to you, Portland. I'm not sure how much all that matters to The Cub, either the best worst player, or the worst best player in NBA history. He's still got time to win a few rings, for sure, but I might suggest getting out of Portland at the first possible opportunity. If only Memphis hadn't traded him away...
BenitwoSTARRLET - New Orleans Pelicans (40-42)
The New Orleans Pelicans aren't a bad team. Probably. They might even be a good team. Or at least they've got a good starting 5 - the rest remains to be seen. It also remains to be seen whether a no-Forward formation is viable in the modern NBA. It's not like the Pelicans are lacking shooting. BenitwoSTARRLET can do a lot of the shooting herself, if she needs to, though so far in her career she's showing signs of weetee-itis. A great shooter who doesn't shoot all that much. Her team nearly made the playoffs last season, and with most of the decent players improving, you'd think they'd have an even better chance this year. You'd think.
Heine - San Antonio Spurs (71-11, Champions)
And so there was one. Heine originally left the Spurs, but he came running back immediately once they showed him the balance of their bank account. $44.98M/year is a truly filthy amount of money. He'll claim it was to prove himself as a Spurs legend, but I remain to be convinced. Either way it'll be very interesting to see if he has what it takes to lead a still-pretty-decent Spurs side to success without Nobbers and Sonius. He just better hope Jamal Murray doesn't follow the others out the door at the end of the season.
sontodevil - Memphis Grizzlies (26-56)
"Get me out of here", cried sontodevil in anguish, "I hate Memphis!" But then, from the other side of the room, he caught the dreamy eyes of a tall, handsome man. "J'aime Memphis..."
SebJr - Sacramento Kings (42-40, 2nd Round)
Name of the doctoral thesis of the collective Sacramento Kings: Is It Possible To Win The NBA When The Best Player And The 14th Player Are Pretty Close In Ability?
The conclusion? No. I mean. Obviously it isn't. But it'll sure be a fun experience. This must be the most injury resistant team in NBA history. They're pretty much going to do as well as they're going to do, with very little wiggle room. And, obviously, self-proclaimed assist god SebJr will have have no shortage of teammates to pass to. If only basketball was played 10v10, the Kings would win their crown.
@sebsheep @Heine @The Cat @Dr. Dwayne @BenitoSTARR @altodevil @V.O. @weetee @Skizzo (I forgot Skizzlet last update, big whoops)
Skizzlet - Atlanta Hawks (37-45)
Well well well, look at the Hawks and their three 70+ rating players. They've not got a whole lot behind those, but that's a pretty good start. I was quite surprised that Atlanta missed the playoffs last season, and I'd be surprised if they do it again this season. Skizzlet himself had a pretty bad summer, but at 24 he's still got time to recover and grow further. And as a Center he can be effective at a far lower overall rating than 70 in any case. He's a big lad in a big team, so the way for Atlanta to get back into the playoffs could simply be to bully smaller teams. Which is most of them.
Dr. Junior - Oklahoma City Thunder (45-37, 1st Round)
After several decent-but-not-spectacular years in Cleveland, followed by a couple downright bad ones, Dr. Junior has decided to take the jump and move all the way to Oklahoma City. The Thunders were already a pretty good team, so you'd think the addition of our man would elevate them even further. It sure doesn't hurt that Scottie Barns took a veritable leap over the summer, leaving Dr. Junior with a second star to take some of the load.
weeweetee & Lil' V.O. - Houston Rockets (53-29, Conference Finals)
Congratulations to the Houston Rockets! After the recent Spurs supernova, they are now officially the shallowest contender in the NBA. I guess that's a natural consequence of paying your two best players nearly $90 million. Not that they don't deserve it, of course. The fact that Houston have very good regular seasons followed by pretty good playoff runs is completely down to weeweetee and Lil' V.O.. Just like the Knicks, the duo has consistently been foiled by the Spurs for years. The fact that the latter have split up does by no means guarantee success, but it certainly makes it way more likely. And while weeweetee might have gotten a bit worse, he was already very good, and it might well be balanced out by Lil' V.O.'s improvements.
The Cub - Portland Trailblazers (19-63)
If Houston are the shallowest contender, Portland must be the shallowest non-contender. The Trailblazers have two very good players, one pretty good player, and three decent players. Though it should be noted that they've managed to assemble a team that actually makes sense, as far as positions goes. Some teams have 15 okay players and still can't manage that, so kudos to you, Portland. I'm not sure how much all that matters to The Cub, either the best worst player, or the worst best player in NBA history. He's still got time to win a few rings, for sure, but I might suggest getting out of Portland at the first possible opportunity. If only Memphis hadn't traded him away...
BenitwoSTARRLET - New Orleans Pelicans (40-42)
The New Orleans Pelicans aren't a bad team. Probably. They might even be a good team. Or at least they've got a good starting 5 - the rest remains to be seen. It also remains to be seen whether a no-Forward formation is viable in the modern NBA. It's not like the Pelicans are lacking shooting. BenitwoSTARRLET can do a lot of the shooting herself, if she needs to, though so far in her career she's showing signs of weetee-itis. A great shooter who doesn't shoot all that much. Her team nearly made the playoffs last season, and with most of the decent players improving, you'd think they'd have an even better chance this year. You'd think.
Heine - San Antonio Spurs (71-11, Champions)
And so there was one. Heine originally left the Spurs, but he came running back immediately once they showed him the balance of their bank account. $44.98M/year is a truly filthy amount of money. He'll claim it was to prove himself as a Spurs legend, but I remain to be convinced. Either way it'll be very interesting to see if he has what it takes to lead a still-pretty-decent Spurs side to success without Nobbers and Sonius. He just better hope Jamal Murray doesn't follow the others out the door at the end of the season.
sontodevil - Memphis Grizzlies (26-56)
"Get me out of here", cried sontodevil in anguish, "I hate Memphis!" But then, from the other side of the room, he caught the dreamy eyes of a tall, handsome man. "J'aime Memphis..."
SebJr - Sacramento Kings (42-40, 2nd Round)
Name of the doctoral thesis of the collective Sacramento Kings: Is It Possible To Win The NBA When The Best Player And The 14th Player Are Pretty Close In Ability?
The conclusion? No. I mean. Obviously it isn't. But it'll sure be a fun experience. This must be the most injury resistant team in NBA history. They're pretty much going to do as well as they're going to do, with very little wiggle room. And, obviously, self-proclaimed assist god SebJr will have have no shortage of teammates to pass to. If only basketball was played 10v10, the Kings would win their crown.
