John Turtorro directs John Turtorro in a role written by John Turtorro, for John Turtorro, where John Turtorro plays a brooding, handsome, laconic, irresistibly cool and impecably dressed ladies man who's prone to quoting profound italian idioms for no apparent reason to the admiring swoons of Sharon Stone, Vanessa Paradis in a wig, and that MILF from Modern Family who is constantly on heat. The plot sees John Turtorro (for it is he) slide half heartedly into part time work as a mature gigolo, catering exclusively to beautiful, lythe, glamorous women (you know, the usual type who pay for sex) only one of whom is ever seen in more than 15cm of clothing. It goes without saying that John Turturro (or the character John Turturro wrote for John Turturro) is fantastic at sex. They all fall in love with him, and two of them even want a menage a tois. He's that good. He is John Turturro. These fantastically glamorous women have little real purpose other than to swoon over, flirt and simulate sex with John Turtorro at regular intervals, but in lieu of any chance at a Bechdel Test pass, they do at least look very good. For this, and indeed their casting, we can presumably thank the director, John Turturro.
Boring switch your brain right off crap 3/10
