Funnier than Moby Dick, shorter than Ullyses and the "Don't panic" thing.
Film The Redcafe Movie review thread
- Thread starter golden_blunder
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In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik and Imran discuss a horrific month of December and a depressing FOUR defeats in a row - the latest coming against Wolves and Newcastle.
They discuss how much blame is on Ruben Amorim and rank our squad against other Premier League teams.
Do we have any chance of avoiding defeat at Anfield?
That Epic movie wasn't all that!
Youngie said:
I've never read The Great Gatsby
I've read The Great Gatsby but never read Tender is the Night.
Maybe we're mirror images of each other?
In which case, I'm guessing you've got a tiny cock?
In which case, I'm guessing you've got a tiny cock?
Plechazunga said:
If we're mirror images then we have exactly the same qualities. This is your admission to having a tiny cock, isn't it?
feck
Don't worry. I won't tell anyone.
Plechazunga said:
Read it, it's great.
mehro said:
I started reading Tender is the Night. It's literally the most boring book I've ever read.
I'm reading Catch 22 again, it's amazing.
To Kill a Mockingbird is another English teacher favourite that's good.
To Kill a Mockingbird is another English teacher favourite that's good.
Psmith said:
Catch 22 has been on loan at every library near here for fecking ages. I got 'Closing Time' instead, along with 'The Blind Watchmaker' after reading all the Dawkins wankfests in the CE.
But I also have a dozen other books lying around that are half-read or not read at all and I suspect those two will go the same way.
Catch-22 should be compulsory reading for 14-16 year olds. If only to learn about pathos, sarcasm, wit, humour -and from an American!! Brilliantissimo
Just watched Sleeper.
Standard Woody Allen rom-com farce, except that instead of having Woody Allen play a neurotic, college-educated middle-aged New York Jew contending with the vissitudes of love and relationships in the urban jungle it had Woody Allen playing a neurotic, college-educated middle aged Jew from an unspecified location who has to save 22nd century America from its totalitarian central leadership while dressed in skivvies and instead of having Diane Keaton play his introverted and slightly anxious love interest it had Diane Keaton play a frigid 22nd artist who also happens to be a nymphomaniac and likes to get high by rubbing her hands on a silver ball and instead of critiquing 1970s Middle American society it presented a futuristic interpretation of the Orwellian vision combined with the closing credits of the Benny Hill show.
I laughed a lot.
7.5/10.
Standard Woody Allen rom-com farce, except that instead of having Woody Allen play a neurotic, college-educated middle-aged New York Jew contending with the vissitudes of love and relationships in the urban jungle it had Woody Allen playing a neurotic, college-educated middle aged Jew from an unspecified location who has to save 22nd century America from its totalitarian central leadership while dressed in skivvies and instead of having Diane Keaton play his introverted and slightly anxious love interest it had Diane Keaton play a frigid 22nd artist who also happens to be a nymphomaniac and likes to get high by rubbing her hands on a silver ball and instead of critiquing 1970s Middle American society it presented a futuristic interpretation of the Orwellian vision combined with the closing credits of the Benny Hill show.
I laughed a lot.
7.5/10.
300 - any good?
spinoza said:
Yup it's pretty good but I think I went in expecting too much. Good special effects but they could have done a lot more with the battle scenes then they did. They were far too short and nothing much happened in them besides slashing and chopping. There was only one 1-on-1 fight and that was far too short. Not exactly the best set of actors either. Still worth a look.
"Harsh Times"
Watched it yesterday, not too bad, 7.5/10
Film Notes
Like Henry Jaglom’s Tracks and Ted Kotcheff’s First Blood, David Ayer’s Harsh Times chronicles the downward spiral of a young war veteran as his attempts to assimilate into civilian life go violently awry. A twisted, skewed look at what constitutes the American Dream this bleak odyssey centres on intense and out-of-control Jim David (Christian Bale), a recently discharged US Ranger as he cruises the mean streets of south central LA, killing time and looking for trouble.
He soon finds it. And, like the original bad influence, along the way he draws best pal Mike Alvarez (Rodriguez) into his sticky web. Soon they are embroiled in an escalating life of casual crime, often committed while smashed out of their minds on drugs. Yet Jim yearns for something more. A war junkie who lives on adrenaline, he sees redemption in patriotism and, against the odds, lands a job in the covert world of Homeland Security. That means he might not be able to marry his Mexican girlfriend. But Jim is drawn to badness like a moth to a flame. He can’t resist a road trip to Mexico – one last hurrah before he goes legit for Uncle Sam. Naturally, Mike goes with him…
In Harsh Times writer/director Ayer considers the effects of sustained violence on the psyche of the modern combat soldier. Jim emerges as seriously disturbed and borderline schizophrenic as he attempts to suppress the memories that haunt his dreams and bleed into his conscious thoughts. After American Psycho and The Machinist (screened in BFF2005) Christian Bale delivers another shattering portrait of trauma and psychosis while simultaneously presenting a charismatic but morally corrupt hero. Like Robert De Niro’s Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver, he drifts between light and dark but is unable to withdraw from the blackness that envelops him. A brilliant study of violence and madness with another magnificent performance from Bale – Wales’s answer to Johnny Depp.
The Descent
PLOT
5 women go to a cave. Scary hijinx occur.
REVIEW
Not usually a fan of this sort of movie, but I loved this movie. Some quality gore in it. Didn't care much for the ending though.
RATING
7.8/10
FIGHT CLUB: MEMBERS ONLY
David Fincher's sanguine exploration of materialism and masculine identity, Fight Club, is a magnificent picture. It's so complex, topical, piquant, so romantically recalcitrant of studio filmmaking mores you have to wonder how it got made in the first place. Yet for all its virtues, Fincher's Fight Club is lacking in one crucial thing: the redemptive power of dance.
Thank God for small miracles and Vikram Chopra, the intellect behind Bollywood's reimagining Fight Club: Members Only. It would be unfair to say this picture outrightly plagiarizes; the plots differ substantially, saying nothing of Chopra's glorious execution. There are elements of the original that filter in, surely, but these are tempered by a more obvious filching of auteurist touchstone Road House. If you're going to steal, steal from the best.
Meet the charming protagonists of Members Only, four sartorially obsessed friends from Mumbai, India. They're rather like an early-oughts boy band, distinguished from each other by some shorthand defining trait. Vicky (Khan) is the brains, Karan (Morea) is shy, Dhiku (Chowdry) is funny, and Somil (Deshmukh) is funny-looking; despite their differences, each share a weakness for loud shirts, gold chains, exposed chest hair, and choreographed dance scored to infectious, rap-infused Bhangra. "Move your body, baby, shake your body, honey" goes one verse. "Girl you so sweet, what you want, I got the money." Poetry really, and the lip-synching done by our boys is without peer.
It is after one of these musical interludes that Vicky (he is the brains, after all) happens upon a solution to the gang's money troubles: they will arrange a location for the irascible college kids of Mumbai to work out their differences and settle scores with enemies, then charge each a thousand rupees to participate. "So you've even thought of a name" asks Somil. Why yes, he has thought up a name, all by himself in fact, and that name is Fight Club.
This Fight Club has streamlined its predecessor's eight rules into five, the most important one being "there is no Fight Club." A marked enhancement on "do not talk about Fight Club," I must say, a declaration that's far too ambiguous. Is writing about Fight Club allowed? What about sign language? You can see how this could cause confusion. Likewise improved: the titular Fight Club has become a gender-neutral affair, allowing for two aesthetically-gifted Bollywood babes in cut-offs to articulate feminist empowerment by tearing off each others' shirts against a chorus of "catfight, catfight." It's basically Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony but with bikini tops and kung fu.
Like most truly epic films, this one has an intermission (total running time is a laconic two hours and twenty-five minutes), after which the action transitions to Delhi, where our impeccably-dressed dandies renovate a dowdy backwoods bar. They simply will not allow it to become a "drug addict's haven," incurring the wrath of local organized crime elements who wear beards or look like Lorenzo Lamas (LLLL for short). It requires extreme measures: sensitive yet pugilistically-astute bouncer Sameer (Sohail Khan) is recruited to clean proverbial (road)house. After two additional song and dance episodes that are not homoerotic in the slightest, the stage is set for an electrifying climactic showdown at a construction site. Loyalties are tested, the true meaning of friendship learned, and people are thrown through all manner of wall, furniture, and glass window in dramatic slow motion.
Said another way: when Fincher's Fight Club Narrator remarks "I want to destroy something beautiful," watch out Vikram Chopra. He could be talking about your film.
Interesting footnote: Strangely, both Fight Club and Road House have both been developed as stage musicals. The camp comedy Road House: The Stage Version Of The Cinema Classic That Starred Patrick Swayze, Except This One Stars Taimak From The 80’s Cult Classic “The Last Dragon” Wearing A Blonde Mullet Wig premiered off-Broadway in 2003 while Fight Club author Chuck Palahniuk has apparently had discussion with both Fincher and Nine Inch Nails front man Trent Reznor about adapting his book for the theater.
http://www.pretentiousmusings.com/fight_club_members_only.html
the descent is misandrist crap.
Didn't know you kept a close eye on Bollywood movies as well, Kev. Next time you want to watch a hindi movie ask one of the resident Indians to recommend you one so you don't end up watching crap like Fight Club. I haven't actually seen it but I'm willing to bet that it's rather shite.
i generally don't, but this time i couldn't resist.
in the film's favor, i must admit that all the women were smokin' hot.
in the film's favor, i must admit that all the women were smokin' hot.
Try a Hindi movie called Tein Deewarein
You wouldn't regret it
You wouldn't regret it
what's it about?
The Departed: Enjoyable but nowhere near as good as Taxi Driver and raging Bull. Nicholson was better than he has been for many years and even Di Capprio came across reasonably well despite still seeming a decade younger than he is. A good DVD rental but not a great deal more. 8/10
Holes:Rather obvious and contrived but otherwise an excellent family movie. Well worth renting if you have kids between 5 and 15. Helped by a good adult cast and excellent performances fro the kids. 7.5/10
Holes:Rather obvious and contrived but otherwise an excellent family movie. Well worth renting if you have kids between 5 and 15. Helped by a good adult cast and excellent performances fro the kids. 7.5/10
Kevrockcity said:
Its about three convicted fellons and a woman who wants to make a prison documentary. It is semi-English, to boot. Can't reveal too much about the storyline or the plot cos its the USP of the movie.
One of the consequences of US involvement in the Vietnam war was the children of GI's by their Vietnamese wives and lovers. For years women who were involved with Americans were social outcasts, treated as collaborators while their children, even when living with grandparents, endured abuse. This is the story of one such child, Binh, forced from his village at 17, going to Saigon to find his mother, then trying to escape to America with his younger half brother, Tam. The film illustrates the rigors of the voyage: the sampan, the Malaysian detention camps, the illegal refugee ship, and the underground economy with near slavery in New York City. Binh ultimately leaves New York for Houston to find his father.
___________
8.5/10
An incredibly powerful film. Just when you think it couldn't get any worse for Bihn, it does. Just when you think things are finally getting better, they become pitiful. At they very least, it made me glad to be a Canadian citizen. At most, I considered moving to the United States. I even missed the first bit of it but I couldn't change the channel once I started watching.
It's overrated but not misandrist.Kevrockcity said:
In Cold Blood
Really boring film about Truman Capote wanting to bum a murderer. Great performance from that fat geezer off of the Big Lebowsky. Just really boring.
Really boring film about Truman Capote wanting to bum a murderer. Great performance from that fat geezer off of the Big Lebowsky. Just really boring.
Pans Labyrinth
Plot: In the fascist Spain of 1944, the bookish young stepdaughter of a sadistic army general escapes into an eerie but captivating fantasy world.
Rating: Dark, fairy tale. I enjoyed it a lot. 9/10
Plot: In the fascist Spain of 1944, the bookish young stepdaughter of a sadistic army general escapes into an eerie but captivating fantasy world.
Rating: Dark, fairy tale. I enjoyed it a lot. 9/10
The Guardian
Plot: A high school swim champion with a troubled past enrolls in the U.S. Coast Guard's "A" School, where legendary rescue swimmer Ben Randall teaches him some hard lessons about loss, love, and self-sacrifice.
Rating: 4 out of 10. Hollywood cheese. Costner though has always been a 6 out of 10 actor kinda guy*
*not really
Plot: A high school swim champion with a troubled past enrolls in the U.S. Coast Guard's "A" School, where legendary rescue swimmer Ben Randall teaches him some hard lessons about loss, love, and self-sacrifice.
Rating: 4 out of 10. Hollywood cheese. Costner though has always been a 6 out of 10 actor kinda guy*
*not really
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
As usual you have it spectacularly wrong
"I have a weakness for bullies
I don't like them
I have always been good at recognising 'the bullies' in life , nomatter how much they try to hide their pathetic personalities under a a cloak of intellect or smart words , seeking them out and giving it back big time with interest
You could say it is one of my fortes
There's loads of very decent people on here and with them I enjoy intelligent chat and a bit of banterish fun
It tends to be that these people would be nice to know even if you met them outside of this forum, even if football were not one's main point of discussion.
However there are some odious cnuts , much like you who I never EVER give one slither of ground too - the bullies, the arrogant fecks, who have spent far too much of their lives desperately trying to put one over on other human beings, be it on this forum or outside of it. Distasteful and obnoxious
To those of you I give no quarter, I show no mercy, give me just one mullimetre to squash you, to crush you like a beetle and I will take it.
I will never have a grain of sympathy for the likes of you and your cronies.
You're a dirty evil bastard who enjoys causing hurt to others and for that you are a worthless piece of scum, along with AEBM Dans Cal Inane feck, Arvani and some others
So no you're wrong
You don't understand 'nice' or 'amicable' or agreeable ' do you ? None of the above do, you're far too preoccupied with trying to humiliate those you see as the 'enemy' to bother with nicities
fecking Stone Age savages in my book
Anyone who is nice to me I'm nice back . Anyone who gives me shit I give it back tenfold, and I will never stop
In respect of you and I don't ever expect any decent conversation from me . I know what you are and what you are all about .
I know you .............and because of that I can be assured of being on safe ground in treating you like a piece of shit no matter how you might behave towards me
So you see for all your words you'll never get to me KG, you're not smart enough for a start
Keep trying though (you might make it into the 1st century AD yet )
Enjoy your cup final KG
As usual you have it spectacularly wrong
"I have a weakness for bullies
I don't like them
I have always been good at recognising 'the bullies' in life , nomatter how much they try to hide their pathetic personalities under a a cloak of intellect or smart words , seeking them out and giving it back big time with interest
You could say it is one of my fortes
There's loads of very decent people on here and with them I enjoy intelligent chat and a bit of banterish fun
It tends to be that these people would be nice to know even if you met them outside of this forum, even if football were not one's main point of discussion.
However there are some odious cnuts , much like you who I never EVER give one slither of ground too - the bullies, the arrogant fecks, who have spent far too much of their lives desperately trying to put one over on other human beings, be it on this forum or outside of it. Distasteful and obnoxious
To those of you I give no quarter, I show no mercy, give me just one mullimetre to squash you, to crush you like a beetle and I will take it.
I will never have a grain of sympathy for the likes of you and your cronies.
You're a dirty evil bastard who enjoys causing hurt to others and for that you are a worthless piece of scum, along with AEBM Dans Cal Inane feck, Arvani and some others
So no you're wrong
You don't understand 'nice' or 'amicable' or agreeable ' do you ? None of the above do, you're far too preoccupied with trying to humiliate those you see as the 'enemy' to bother with nicities
fecking Stone Age savages in my book
Anyone who is nice to me I'm nice back . Anyone who gives me shit I give it back tenfold, and I will never stop
In respect of you and I don't ever expect any decent conversation from me . I know what you are and what you are all about .
I know you .............and because of that I can be assured of being on safe ground in treating you like a piece of shit no matter how you might behave towards me
So you see for all your words you'll never get to me KG, you're not smart enough for a start
Keep trying though (you might make it into the 1st century AD yet )
Enjoy your cup final KG
Superman Returns
I've always been somewhat confused and annoyed by the idea of superman. In fact, I can't fecking stand him. There are several valid reasons for this. Partly, it's due to his incredibly gay and plainly unsuper attire. Partly it's due to a scene in one of the older films, where in superman suddenly, and without reasonabe precedent, fires a large plastic "s" from his chest, which somehow instantly defeats whoever it was he was fighting at the time. The main reason though, is just his incredibly camp attitude towards life. He abides by the law, he dresses up, and even acts like, a complete geek, he even has a bloody job in an office.
Why?
If you were Superman, you wouldn't dress in a pathetic looking blue suit with an s on the front, wear a tie, or work in some office where everyone thinks you're a bit of a tit. You'd do what the feck you wanted, and if anyone dissagreed with this philosophy, you'd simply stare them on fire.
In this film, nothing happens for a couple of hours, and then it ends. Much like watching a Liverpool game.
Rating 3/10 - Never watch a movie on the recommendation of a female
noodlehair said:
Noods, don't become one of those blokes who calls women "females". Please.
The Emperors new Groove:
I would like to take this oppurtunity to grace the caf with this little beauty. A real masterpiece. It has it all, a surprising story line full of twists and sub plots all hiding an underscore of comic genius. Its superb character development and attention to detail can help the viewer to relate throughout the entire movie. You'll find yourself fearing for our hero and pitying our villains. Its fantastic and entirely astonishing album throws out a curve ball that will just leave you gasping for more.
a 10/10 from me folks. Must see movie of the year. Every year infact.
I would like to take this oppurtunity to grace the caf with this little beauty. A real masterpiece. It has it all, a surprising story line full of twists and sub plots all hiding an underscore of comic genius. Its superb character development and attention to detail can help the viewer to relate throughout the entire movie. You'll find yourself fearing for our hero and pitying our villains. Its fantastic and entirely astonishing album throws out a curve ball that will just leave you gasping for more.
a 10/10 from me folks. Must see movie of the year. Every year infact.
I don't intend to, it was a one-offPlechazunga said:
How the feck can you mispell a smiley?
that was a pretty bent review in fasirness, Smashed
noodlehair said:
Well, you just misspelled 'misspell'
Plechazunga said:
Admit it, you're going to go out and rent it now aren't you
Kevrockcity said:
There's some utter shit in Bollywood but 1 out of about 100 turn out to be quite good.I'd recommend Being Cyrus...its in English.