I would like to point out that this is the funniest thing I've ever read. Ever.
You: Hey!!!!
Stranger: hi guy
You: Yo, ho.
Stranger: wow thats a bit much
You: Rhymes schemes don't have a great emotional guage.
Stranger: right....
You: Thanks, I'm almost never wrong.
Stranger: thats not what i meant
You: You should look into that, I like to mean what I say.
Stranger: im sure you do
You: How sure? Deodorant Sure?
Stranger: what?
You: Sure enough to make a bet on it....
Stranger: i dont bet on things
You: You can bet on that.
Stranger: okay wow
You: You've lost, I slap you around for a bit.
Stranger: what the flip? lost what?
You: You've lost the ability to defend yourself! I have unarmed you!
Stranger: okay but why the slapping bit?
You: Why not?
Stranger: because its wrong?!
You: WRONG! There was no question for it to be wrong, you lose again.
You: I shave a stripe into your head. You cry.
Stranger: morally wrong not as in a question kind of wrong
You: Fair enough, but I don't take tips from people with stripes of hair missing on their head.
Stranger: you did that though
You: Prove it. Prove it or lose it. Can you prove it?
You: BANG!
You: You lost it.
You: You lose.
You: I perform a 360 degree turn and deliver a slow-motion but swift kick into your kidneys.
Stranger: i dont get this. im not playing or betting but im getting beaten up online?
You: The sooner you accept your fate, and reality, the quicker this beating will be, and the sooner you will begin to enjoy it.
Stranger: but why would i enjoy a beating?
You: I beat you harder. In the face. You smile?
Stranger: i wouldnt be smiling though
You: I kick your ankle, hard. The leg snaps. You smile?
Stranger: i would be crying or swearing about now
You: I tell you a joke. You smile?
Stranger: what about the pain though?
You: Oh I can bring the pain. I bring pain and then smash you over the head with it. You smile?
Stranger: you arent understanding how this would work though
StrangeR: i wouldnt be smiling at any of this
You: Right.
You: So I pick up cat and sharpen it with knife-sharpening kit. It makes horrible sounds. You smile?
Stranger: that just isnt possible
You: I swing sharpened cat at your face. You duck, but then I come back with a cat uppercut. You smile?
Stranger: .....
Stranger: I smile
Stranger: its only because i like cats and want you to stop
You: I throw cat out of window, job done. It lands in bin, on fire. I spit.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: hi guy
You: Yo, ho.
Stranger: wow thats a bit much
You: Rhymes schemes don't have a great emotional guage.
Stranger: right....
You: Thanks, I'm almost never wrong.
Stranger: thats not what i meant
You: You should look into that, I like to mean what I say.
Stranger: im sure you do
You: How sure? Deodorant Sure?
Stranger: what?
You: Sure enough to make a bet on it....
Stranger: i dont bet on things
You: You can bet on that.
Stranger: okay wow
You: You've lost, I slap you around for a bit.
Stranger: what the flip? lost what?
You: You've lost the ability to defend yourself! I have unarmed you!
Stranger: okay but why the slapping bit?
You: Why not?
Stranger: because its wrong?!
You: WRONG! There was no question for it to be wrong, you lose again.
You: I shave a stripe into your head. You cry.
Stranger: morally wrong not as in a question kind of wrong
You: Fair enough, but I don't take tips from people with stripes of hair missing on their head.
Stranger: you did that though
You: Prove it. Prove it or lose it. Can you prove it?
You: BANG!
You: You lost it.
You: You lose.
You: I perform a 360 degree turn and deliver a slow-motion but swift kick into your kidneys.
Stranger: i dont get this. im not playing or betting but im getting beaten up online?
You: The sooner you accept your fate, and reality, the quicker this beating will be, and the sooner you will begin to enjoy it.
Stranger: but why would i enjoy a beating?
You: I beat you harder. In the face. You smile?
Stranger: i wouldnt be smiling though
You: I kick your ankle, hard. The leg snaps. You smile?
Stranger: i would be crying or swearing about now
You: I tell you a joke. You smile?
Stranger: what about the pain though?
You: Oh I can bring the pain. I bring pain and then smash you over the head with it. You smile?
Stranger: you arent understanding how this would work though
StrangeR: i wouldnt be smiling at any of this
You: Right.
You: So I pick up cat and sharpen it with knife-sharpening kit. It makes horrible sounds. You smile?
Stranger: that just isnt possible
You: I swing sharpened cat at your face. You duck, but then I come back with a cat uppercut. You smile?
Stranger: .....
Stranger: I smile
Stranger: its only because i like cats and want you to stop
You: I throw cat out of window, job done. It lands in bin, on fire. I spit.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
you really do have to be patient with some of the slow ass typers on there!
Please keep other chats in 'Satas' thread. I only made this one on request.
Just read the first post....:wink:
You: How are you this evening?
Stranger: its morning where i am
You: Oh yeah? Same as actually, good morning.
Stranger: right...
Stranger: so much snow!
You: That's the funny thing about snow....
Stranger: ...
Stranger: what is?
You: What?
Stranger: what is?
You: What did you just say?
Stranger: i said what is but you can already see that, its not like you misheard me??
Stranger: its text on a page
You: Yeah, that's the funny thing.
Stranger: okay im confused
You: .com
Stranger: what?
You: confused.com, shit website you know?
Stranger: yeah i think so
You: They think it could snow for the next couple weeks - you wanker - intermitently though so it won't be one continuous freeze, thank god haha!
Stranger: why did you say that?
You: Weather is a general topic, a nice opener with a stranger, it binds us together as we share the same conditions.
Stranger: why did you call me a wanker
You: Oh that, don't worry about that, leave the past where it is friend
Stranger: alright i just thought it was odd
You: Well, that's the problem when people get to thinking.
Stranger: people get insulted?
You: You are learning, it won't be long till you graduate from criminally retarded to socially inadequate.
Stranger: wow
Stranger: that was pretty low
You: You should see me when I'm on a high, I'm like a bird with wings attached to a plane on a rocket
Stranger: i cant picture that
Stranger: as weird as it is
You: Right, lets play a quick game before it gets weird
Stranger: why would it get weird?
You: Shut up. Virtual Chess, black or whites?
Stranger: Whites
You: You start racist
Stranger: how? what?
You: I start - slow racist - I move my pawn two steps forward
Stranger: which pawn?
You: All of them, we advance at a steady rate of 30 feet per minute. I keep our front line in check, cavalry takes up the rear.
Stranger: what?! you cant do that or have calalry?
You: Calories? Cavalry, you aaron lemon.
Stranger: i move my pawn on the left one step
You: SNIPER SHOT! BOOOM HEADSHOT!
You: My sniper takes your pawn out, he uses a 50 caliber rifle and blows his head off.
Stranger: this is just ridiculous
Stranger: have you ever even played chess?
You: Yes. In a real war with real people.
You: We have deserters in our ranks, I send my knights across the backline, they hack off three pieces heads, and raise them in the air, one puts the dead pawns head on his head
Stranger: thats disgusting and has nothing to do with the game
You: While you are distracted, we send in a crack swat team, they maneuver behind your line and assassinate the queen, she lays there bleeding to death as your king mourns her.
You: Your turn, your pawn is dangerously close to mine
Stranger: how would i know though?
Stranger: i move another pawn forward
You: TRAP DOOR. Pawn falls into oblivion as the ground gives way beneath him.
You: Your king retires to his chambers, he toys with a cigar and then lights it.....
You: BOOOM!!! It's only an explosive cigar crafted by the CIA!!!
You: Game over - You should leave now
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: its morning where i am
You: Oh yeah? Same as actually, good morning.
Stranger: right...
Stranger: so much snow!
You: That's the funny thing about snow....
Stranger: ...
Stranger: what is?
You: What?
Stranger: what is?
You: What did you just say?
Stranger: i said what is but you can already see that, its not like you misheard me??
Stranger: its text on a page
You: Yeah, that's the funny thing.
Stranger: okay im confused
You: .com
Stranger: what?
You: confused.com, shit website you know?
Stranger: yeah i think so
You: They think it could snow for the next couple weeks - you wanker - intermitently though so it won't be one continuous freeze, thank god haha!
Stranger: why did you say that?
You: Weather is a general topic, a nice opener with a stranger, it binds us together as we share the same conditions.
Stranger: why did you call me a wanker
You: Oh that, don't worry about that, leave the past where it is friend
Stranger: alright i just thought it was odd
You: Well, that's the problem when people get to thinking.
Stranger: people get insulted?
You: You are learning, it won't be long till you graduate from criminally retarded to socially inadequate.
Stranger: wow
Stranger: that was pretty low
You: You should see me when I'm on a high, I'm like a bird with wings attached to a plane on a rocket
Stranger: i cant picture that
Stranger: as weird as it is
You: Right, lets play a quick game before it gets weird
Stranger: why would it get weird?
You: Shut up. Virtual Chess, black or whites?
Stranger: Whites
You: You start racist
Stranger: how? what?
You: I start - slow racist - I move my pawn two steps forward
Stranger: which pawn?
You: All of them, we advance at a steady rate of 30 feet per minute. I keep our front line in check, cavalry takes up the rear.
Stranger: what?! you cant do that or have calalry?
You: Calories? Cavalry, you aaron lemon.
Stranger: i move my pawn on the left one step
You: SNIPER SHOT! BOOOM HEADSHOT!
You: My sniper takes your pawn out, he uses a 50 caliber rifle and blows his head off.
Stranger: this is just ridiculous
Stranger: have you ever even played chess?
You: Yes. In a real war with real people.
You: We have deserters in our ranks, I send my knights across the backline, they hack off three pieces heads, and raise them in the air, one puts the dead pawns head on his head
Stranger: thats disgusting and has nothing to do with the game
You: While you are distracted, we send in a crack swat team, they maneuver behind your line and assassinate the queen, she lays there bleeding to death as your king mourns her.
You: Your turn, your pawn is dangerously close to mine
Stranger: how would i know though?
Stranger: i move another pawn forward
You: TRAP DOOR. Pawn falls into oblivion as the ground gives way beneath him.
You: Your king retires to his chambers, he toys with a cigar and then lights it.....
You: BOOOM!!! It's only an explosive cigar crafted by the CIA!!!
You: Game over - You should leave now
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Hectic, are you high while you post on there. some of these are brilliant.
Nope, I think I may have been a bit lean on one or two, but I would say 95% of these are made when sober. If I'm high, I can't react quick enough for most chats so it doesn't really work.
. the other person has no clue what hit them.Explosive cigar crafted by the CIA... you been watching "Deadliest Warrior" by any chance, Hectic? ;P
Probably subconsciously what I thought of, but yes, I've seen them all.
You: Hey!!!
Stranger: hey x
You: Do I find myself in the company on a woman?
Stranger: that depends
You: On what does it depend?
Stranger: do i find myself in the company of a gentleman?
You: Oh, I see I have quite the lady here, you do indeed.
You: If I may say so myself
Stranger: ha!
Stranger: and what side of the globe do you find yourself?
You: A fine question, currently I am sitting a top the crest of some distant hills, the air here is divine...
Stranger: wow that sounds lovely, whereabouts?
You: The name is but a name, the imagination can fill in all the blanks, the name is irrelevant.
Stranger: I like that
You: Thankyou, as a matter of speaking..
You: The imagination can manipulate all kinds of wonders, for instance, I imagine myself sitting where I am now, I raise the scope to my eyes, I can just make out your figure, skimming through the long grass...
Stranger: thats wonderful
Stranger: I run freely without a single care moving through the fields at my own pace
You: I can't help but smile, this beauty isn't even aware of her destiny, she is like a weightless soul, free from the shackles of reality and boundaries.
Stranger: I feel my cheeks blush, which is awkward as I am alone
You: I can't see her face as I maneuver the buttons and switches to increase my clarity, I wait for her to see me, in her own time.
Stranger: As I spin around, my hair drapes across my face and I catch a glimpse of something shining in the distance, it must be binoculars, my heart leaps!
You: A broad grin flashes across my face, I kneel down on one knee, the moment has come. I exhale a final breath and squeeze my index finger.
Stranger: what?
You: The bullet tears through the air, the sound echoing all over the hills. As she hears the sound, the bullet rips through her eye, it was a perfect shot. She slumps to her knees, dead before she hits the floor. Blood trickles down her nape, I laugh like a maniac and dance a jig from far away.
Stranger: oh my god
Stranger: you freak
Stranger: oh my god what was that
You: BOOM!!! HEADSHOT BABY!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: hey x
You: Do I find myself in the company on a woman?
Stranger: that depends
You: On what does it depend?
Stranger: do i find myself in the company of a gentleman?
You: Oh, I see I have quite the lady here, you do indeed.
You: If I may say so myself
Stranger: ha!
Stranger: and what side of the globe do you find yourself?
You: A fine question, currently I am sitting a top the crest of some distant hills, the air here is divine...
Stranger: wow that sounds lovely, whereabouts?
You: The name is but a name, the imagination can fill in all the blanks, the name is irrelevant.
Stranger: I like that
You: Thankyou, as a matter of speaking..
You: The imagination can manipulate all kinds of wonders, for instance, I imagine myself sitting where I am now, I raise the scope to my eyes, I can just make out your figure, skimming through the long grass...
Stranger: thats wonderful
Stranger: I run freely without a single care moving through the fields at my own pace
You: I can't help but smile, this beauty isn't even aware of her destiny, she is like a weightless soul, free from the shackles of reality and boundaries.
Stranger: I feel my cheeks blush, which is awkward as I am alone
You: I can't see her face as I maneuver the buttons and switches to increase my clarity, I wait for her to see me, in her own time.
Stranger: As I spin around, my hair drapes across my face and I catch a glimpse of something shining in the distance, it must be binoculars, my heart leaps!
You: A broad grin flashes across my face, I kneel down on one knee, the moment has come. I exhale a final breath and squeeze my index finger.
Stranger: what?
You: The bullet tears through the air, the sound echoing all over the hills. As she hears the sound, the bullet rips through her eye, it was a perfect shot. She slumps to her knees, dead before she hits the floor. Blood trickles down her nape, I laugh like a maniac and dance a jig from far away.
Stranger: oh my god
Stranger: you freak
Stranger: oh my god what was that
You: BOOM!!! HEADSHOT BABY!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
de ja vu there.
hectic, i have a question, when you do this do you have an idea or some kind of script in mind before you get going and wait for the right kind of responses? or do you just go with whatever takes your fancy along the way?
Class Hectic loved it.
de ja vu there.
hectic, i have a question, when you do this do you have an idea or some kind of script in mind before you get going and wait for the right kind of responses? or do you just go with whatever takes your fancy along the way?
Or does he just type them out himself?!?!
i love this thread, hectic you are an omegle genius!
nah, hectic is a man of the upmost integrity.
de ja vu there.
hectic, i have a question, when you do this do you have an idea or some kind of script in mind before you get going and wait for the right kind of responses? or do you just go with whatever takes your fancy along the way?
Both, I have a good idea or rough foundation of how it will start/finish, the inbetween depends on the stranger, but they don't always pan out. Most of the time the stranger will either leave half-way, or just spam me into leaving. But say I have an idea, by about the third stranger I try and go with it, I've mapped out what I'll say, how far I'll lead them and when I should end it.
There's not been very many (usually the very short ones) that have worked first go, or that I haven't had to re-try it. Also, I find the majority work with girls, they a) don't spaz out as much, b)last longer (which is usually why I ask for the gender in the first couple questions).
No.
get out.
feckin ace hectic
That was brilliant.
BOOM HEADSHOT. BABY
BOOM HEADSHOT. BABY
What the hell are these?
My Omegle chats...with random strangers.
So you log onto a chat site and antagonise the randoms you bump into?
OK, makes much more sense now!
OK, makes much more sense now!
That's about the sum of it.
You: Hangin?
Stranger: excuse me?
You: Hows it hangin?
Stranger: oh okay
Stranger: good, you?
You: Dog just died...
Stranger: oh my god that is awful
You: Tell me about it, hes laying here next to me
Stranger: I feel so bad, we have a pup and to lose him would break my heart
You: I...I just don't know how to tell the kids
Stranger: my heart goes out to you
Stranger: these things are so difficult
You: Yeah, it's just they loved him more then anything
Stranger: are they young?
You: 8 and 10...
Stranger: Jesus christ!
You: I know right
Stranger: how did it happen?
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: i didnt want to be rude but maybe it might help with the kids?
You: Oh I know that, don't apologize
You: It's just hard is all
Stranger: of course it is
You: I don't think they are ready to hear it
Stranger: because of their age?
You: No, I killed the cat earlier, it couldn't have been more then an hour ago.
Stranger: WHAT?
Stranger: you killed their cat?
You: Yeah, turns out it only has 1 life...
Stranger: oh my GOD you better be joking
You: Honestly I'm not!
Stranger: and the dog? what happened!
You: Now I knew dogs don't have 9 lives, just the 1, but curiosity got the better of me.
Stranger: im going to be sick
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: excuse me?
You: Hows it hangin?
Stranger: oh okay
Stranger: good, you?
You: Dog just died...
Stranger: oh my god that is awful
You: Tell me about it, hes laying here next to me
Stranger: I feel so bad, we have a pup and to lose him would break my heart
You: I...I just don't know how to tell the kids
Stranger: my heart goes out to you
Stranger: these things are so difficult
You: Yeah, it's just they loved him more then anything
Stranger: are they young?
You: 8 and 10...
Stranger: Jesus christ!
You: I know right
Stranger: how did it happen?
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: i didnt want to be rude but maybe it might help with the kids?
You: Oh I know that, don't apologize
You: It's just hard is all
Stranger: of course it is
You: I don't think they are ready to hear it
Stranger: because of their age?
You: No, I killed the cat earlier, it couldn't have been more then an hour ago.
Stranger: WHAT?
Stranger: you killed their cat?
You: Yeah, turns out it only has 1 life...
Stranger: oh my GOD you better be joking
You: Honestly I'm not!
Stranger: and the dog? what happened!
You: Now I knew dogs don't have 9 lives, just the 1, but curiosity got the better of me.
Stranger: im going to be sick
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
unreal. totally class.Just had two birds from omegle give me a "performance" on the cam. Thought id share/gloat.
The excitement I felt when I saw this had been bumped has now been channelled into pure loathing for you, Mickey.
You: State your intentions.
Stranger: what
You: Your objective Sergant, have you forgotten your mission already?
Stranger: I dont have an objective
You: Your aim solider. You know, the same thing you do when you whip your cock out and piss.
Stranger: what?!
You: Intentions, objectives, aims, your mission private. Do you remember.
Stranger: I remember
You: Drop down and give me 50.
Stranger: 50 what
You: That's a 100 corperal, I want 100.
Stranger: okay im starting
You: Luitenant, stand to attention
Stranger: why am I so many different names?
You: Shut your hole brigadier, give me 20 laps.
Stranger: running?
You: God damn you, you insignificant manifested sperm. 20 swimming laps.
Stranger: theres a swimming pool here?
You: Invisible laps Commander, pretend there is a swimming pool here.
Stranger: that is just stupid
You: Oh, so all training is stupid unless it's real? Well, feck me, the Major thinks he can call the shots now. The next shot goes into your head, you dickless wretch.
You: Next time you get to thinking Air Commodore, run as fast as you can, headfirst into a solid object.
Stranger: this is not how the army is like
You: Office Cadet, this is neither the time or place, for unbelievable retardery.
Stranger: I take offence to that charge, sir
You: Finally, a bit of discipline, I thought I was going to have to batter you with a terry's chocolate orange inside a sock, again.
Stranger: again?
You: Yeah, again, you stupid forgetful little shit bear.
You: Squadron Leader.
Stranger: im not feeling very motivated
You: Would you like some words of comfort, Admiral?
Stranger: well it would make a nice change
You: Okay, fair enough.
You: You are a shit monkey. If I saw you on the battlefield, I would strip you naked, although that's the image you portray anyway, a naked manchild at war. We would call a momentary truce with the enemy, while we collectively laugh at the pathetic, demented person, that is yourself. Birds would flock, from fields far away to shit on you, some would not, for fear of killing you, General.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: what
You: Your objective Sergant, have you forgotten your mission already?
Stranger: I dont have an objective
You: Your aim solider. You know, the same thing you do when you whip your cock out and piss.
Stranger: what?!
You: Intentions, objectives, aims, your mission private. Do you remember.
Stranger: I remember
You: Drop down and give me 50.
Stranger: 50 what
You: That's a 100 corperal, I want 100.
Stranger: okay im starting
You: Luitenant, stand to attention
Stranger: why am I so many different names?
You: Shut your hole brigadier, give me 20 laps.
Stranger: running?
You: God damn you, you insignificant manifested sperm. 20 swimming laps.
Stranger: theres a swimming pool here?
You: Invisible laps Commander, pretend there is a swimming pool here.
Stranger: that is just stupid
You: Oh, so all training is stupid unless it's real? Well, feck me, the Major thinks he can call the shots now. The next shot goes into your head, you dickless wretch.
You: Next time you get to thinking Air Commodore, run as fast as you can, headfirst into a solid object.
Stranger: this is not how the army is like
You: Office Cadet, this is neither the time or place, for unbelievable retardery.
Stranger: I take offence to that charge, sir
You: Finally, a bit of discipline, I thought I was going to have to batter you with a terry's chocolate orange inside a sock, again.
Stranger: again?
You: Yeah, again, you stupid forgetful little shit bear.
You: Squadron Leader.
Stranger: im not feeling very motivated
You: Would you like some words of comfort, Admiral?
Stranger: well it would make a nice change
You: Okay, fair enough.
You: You are a shit monkey. If I saw you on the battlefield, I would strip you naked, although that's the image you portray anyway, a naked manchild at war. We would call a momentary truce with the enemy, while we collectively laugh at the pathetic, demented person, that is yourself. Birds would flock, from fields far away to shit on you, some would not, for fear of killing you, General.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You: Quick question, male or female?
Stranger: female!
You: Perfect.
Stranger: why is that perfect?
You: I sit across the table from you, the candle between us lights up your face, highlighting your astonishing beauty, I make eye contact and I can't help but smile.
Stranger: that is romantic!
You: I take the plunge and reach for your hand.....
Stranger: I give it willingly
You: I smile again, and blush slightly, knowing what has to be done.
You: I raise your hand to my lips and plant a soft kiss on to your delicate hand.
Stranger: I blush and giggle!!
You: My nerves disappear, I take your hand in mine and move it to the side of the table. I ask you if you are ready.
Stranger: I blink, but know that the surprise is going to be nice so I move in closer and press my lips together for you
You: I ignore the weird face you are making.
Stranger: its not a weird face, im moving in to kiss you silly
You: At the last second I duck to the left, and avoid your lips.
Stranger: what? why?
You: I take you hand and smile. I move it under the table, and look you in the eyes. You hear my jeans unzip, I raise an eyebrow, expectantly, and motion downwards. As the dawn of realization hits your face, I nod, slowly, and say yes, over and over again.
Stranger: what the feck, that is disgusting!
Stranger: why would you try and do that, oh my god you creep
You: I pretend like nothing has happened, as you get up to leave, I groan loudly, my legs tremble beneath the table as people around us start to stare. A family screams behind us, waiters come over and ask us to leave immediately, I stand up half-naked, and casually stroll out of the restaurant, leaving you to deal with the humiliation alone.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: female!
You: Perfect.
Stranger: why is that perfect?
You: I sit across the table from you, the candle between us lights up your face, highlighting your astonishing beauty, I make eye contact and I can't help but smile.
Stranger: that is romantic!
You: I take the plunge and reach for your hand.....
Stranger: I give it willingly
You: I smile again, and blush slightly, knowing what has to be done.
You: I raise your hand to my lips and plant a soft kiss on to your delicate hand.
Stranger: I blush and giggle!!
You: My nerves disappear, I take your hand in mine and move it to the side of the table. I ask you if you are ready.
Stranger: I blink, but know that the surprise is going to be nice so I move in closer and press my lips together for you
You: I ignore the weird face you are making.
Stranger: its not a weird face, im moving in to kiss you silly
You: At the last second I duck to the left, and avoid your lips.
Stranger: what? why?
You: I take you hand and smile. I move it under the table, and look you in the eyes. You hear my jeans unzip, I raise an eyebrow, expectantly, and motion downwards. As the dawn of realization hits your face, I nod, slowly, and say yes, over and over again.
Stranger: what the feck, that is disgusting!
Stranger: why would you try and do that, oh my god you creep
You: I pretend like nothing has happened, as you get up to leave, I groan loudly, my legs tremble beneath the table as people around us start to stare. A family screams behind us, waiters come over and ask us to leave immediately, I stand up half-naked, and casually stroll out of the restaurant, leaving you to deal with the humiliation alone.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Class!