you won’t believe what happened this evening. ronaldo stormed off down the tunnel, 2 minutes before full time, his muscles rippling as he went. ronaldo glided effortlessly towards the changing room, biceps bulging, abs rock hard. a lady swooned. he pushed open the changing room door with ease, the hinges no match for his supple, lithe body.
“wow, that was done with all the grace and finesse of someone in their early twenties”ronaldo thought he heard someone say. he grabbed the keys to his ferrari and glanced at the bleep test results that were displayed on the whiteboard. it contained not only the results from the united squad, but somehow from every premier league team “still number one,” ronaldo thought to himself. as he left the changing room he could hear his team mates, still playing, “scream! how do we win without ronaldo!?” “eeeek, we’re half the team without him. how could the hag do this?” mbappe was there and was heard to say “i’m definitely not signing there now with how they treat him.”
ronaldo sped out of the car park, the security guard pointed to a windmill and did the knife slit across throat gesture towards it.