The fact that I used the phrase "We're in the middle of July" and a reference to someone being drunk should really be more enough to understand that I was referencing Samid's joke from a few days ago.
Manchester United 3:1 Crystal Palace (Tue 19th July, 11:10 UK time)
- Thread starter Samid
- Start date
The fact that I used the phrase "We're in the middle of July" and a reference to someone being drunk should really be more enough to understand that I was referencing Samid's joke from a few days ago.
Reminds me of this:
DIARY OF A POMMIE IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA
August 31 - Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new
home in Karratha , Western Australia . Now this is a town that knows
how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched
the sunset from a deckchair by the pool yesterday. It was beautiful.
I've finally found my new home. I love it here.
September 13 - Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No problem
though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a
sun-worshipper.
September 30th - Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants
today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th - The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do
people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's windy though.
Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatizing is taking longer than I
expected.
October 15th - Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree
burns over 60% of my body. Missed three days of work. What a dumb thing
to do! Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th - Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car
before I left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car
after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag
and stuck to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat
shit. I've earned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.
October 25 - This wind is a bastard. It feels like a giant feckin' blow
dryer. And it's hot as hell! The home air conditioner is on the blink
and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs
to order parts from feckin' Perth ....
October 30th - The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still
haven't arrived for the feckin' aircon. Been sleeping outside by the
pool for three nights now. Bloody $600,000 house and we can't even go
inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?
November 4 - Finally got the ol' aircon fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets
the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it
feel about 30. Stupid repairman.
November 8 - If one more smart arse says 'Hot enough for you today?'
I'm going to feckin' throttle him. feckin' heat! By the time I get to
work, the car's radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking
feckin' wet and I smell like baked cat!
November 9 Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat
on the black leather upholstery in the ol' car. I thought my feckin'
arse was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs
of my legs and my feckin' arse. Now the car smells like burnt hair,
fried arse and baked cat!
November 10 - Weather report! It might as well be a feckin' recording.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and feckin' sunny! It's been too hot
to do anything for two feckin' months and the weatherman says it might
really warm up next week.
November 15 - Doesn't it ever rain in this damn feckin' place? Water
restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry
up and blow into the feckin' pool. The only things that thrive in this
hell-hole are the feckin' flies. You don't dare open your mouth for
fear of swallowing half a dozen of the feckers!
November 20th - Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 feckin' degrees today.
Now the air conditioner's gone in my car.. The repair man came to fix
it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?' I had to spend the $2,500
mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid
fecker. feckin' Karratha! What kind of sick, demented feckin' idiot
would want to live here!
December 1 -
WHAT!!!!
The first day of Summer!!!!
You are feckin' kidding!
I agree geenrally but we are missing Ronaldo, Eriksen and Martinez from this squad which does make a dent.
1/2/3 more required admittedly.
Previously on RedCafe...
Don't act all high and mighty because you didn't get a joke
Never. You can look at poor defending all day (and you should) but it's a basic stop for a Premier League level goalkeeper.
Telles again missed the header
Should’ve been there then
Maybe (and probably) this went right over my head, but it's 7 degrees right now.
Don't kink shame, mate
Calm down sweetheart.
*gulp* at this point, when in Australia...I'm down under!Who was Erik mad at just now? hannibal?
For the millionth time we have only paid €19m up front. Worth a punt at that price as he's still very young and raw. If it doesn't work out we'll be able to recoup a good chunk of that back.
Ya, a pretty massive drop off in quality since the subs, which is a good thing I suppose. Shows the talent that our starting XI has.
This is barely their 2nd team.
Only one more year to go thankfully.
That’s likely a result of being surrounded by Scottish football for a season
What was that between Amad and ETh?
DDG should have saved it, I'm not disputing that, but he doesn't have a save to make if Telles wasn't asleep at the front post.
So if you didn't read the previous threads, how can you be so sure that my post wasn't a reference to a previous joke on here?
Make your mind up.He's a journo in training, forgive him.
Had high hopes for Amad this season. Looks nowhere near ready yet.
Reminds me of this:
DIARY OF A POMMIE IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA
August 31 - Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new
home in Karratha , Western Australia . Now this is a town that knows
how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched
the sunset from a deckchair by the pool yesterday. It was beautiful.
I've finally found my new home. I love it here.
September 13 - Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No problem
though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a
sun-worshipper.
September 30th - Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants
today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
October 10th - The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do
people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's windy though.
Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatizing is taking longer than I
expected.
October 15th - Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree
burns over 60% of my body. Missed three days of work. What a dumb thing
to do! Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
October 20th - Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car
before I left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car
after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag
and stuck to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat
shit. I've earned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.
October 25 - This wind is a bastard. It feels like a giant feckin' blow
dryer. And it's hot as hell! The home air conditioner is on the blink
and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs
to order parts from feckin' Perth ....
October 30th - The temperature's up around 40 and the parts still
haven't arrived for the feckin' aircon. Been sleeping outside by the
pool for three nights now. Bloody $600,000 house and we can't even go
inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?
November 4 - Finally got the ol' aircon fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets
the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it
feel about 30. Stupid repairman.
November 8 - If one more smart arse says 'Hot enough for you today?'
I'm going to feckin' throttle him. feckin' heat! By the time I get to
work, the car's radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking
feckin' wet and I smell like baked cat!
November 9 Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat
on the black leather upholstery in the ol' car. I thought my feckin'
arse was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs
of my legs and my feckin' arse. Now the car smells like burnt hair,
fried arse and baked cat!
November 10 - Weather report! It might as well be a feckin' recording.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and feckin' sunny! It's been too hot
to do anything for two feckin' months and the weatherman says it might
really warm up next week.
November 15 - Doesn't it ever rain in this damn feckin' place? Water
restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry
up and blow into the feckin' pool. The only things that thrive in this
hell-hole are the feckin' flies. You don't dare open your mouth for
fear of swallowing half a dozen of the feckers!
November 20th - Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 feckin' degrees today.
Now the air conditioner's gone in my car.. The repair man came to fix
it and said, 'Hot enough for you today?' I had to spend the $2,500
mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid
fecker. feckin' Karratha! What kind of sick, demented feckin' idiot
would want to live here!
December 1 -
WHAT!!!!
The first day of Summer!!!!
You are feckin' kidding!
Love it
Nose beers count…
£19m up front is still a terrible deal for a young player who played pretty much no 1st team football. It was an awful deal regardless of how Diallo develops in the future.
Horror cameo from Fish.
Seems mean to expect a corner specialist to win headers.
He is a goner
Shame
looks like amad
he fell hook line and sinker for that one
19m is some punt
nightmare cameo from Fish.Ahahahaha a red card.
Red card in preseason!!
How was Fish looking at youth level? He looks hardly a footballer
Damn the drop off in quality is ridiculous.