John Terry Photoshopped

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Just checked in today. I don't know what to say....
We are like the Borg, one mind (but in a good way).
 
2testyu7.gif
 
:lol:

This is the best thread. Cannot believe I've only just found it.

:lol::lol::lol::lol: - that one in the car's brilliant.
 
Not a picture, but just got txt this joke from a mate whos a spurs fan.


Apparently Ann Summers have just launcehd a new range of sexual lubricants called KY Terry, they say its designed to help you slip in the box easier.
 
I've already been told that thios is a photoshop thread, but apart from starting another where else should JT jokes go?

This is from 'The Spoof';

After his skillful penalty miss in the Champions' League final in Moscow, Chelsea captain John 'Ooh Betty' Terry is to appear in a series of silent films.

Director Buster Keaton has come out of retirement to guide Mr. Terry in his new career, and noting that John, with his idiotic grin and pasty-faced complexion, is his double, Mr. Keaton said that three short movies would be made, showing John's antics to an already laughing world.

In the first, John will run towards a ball, then suddenly slip on an imaginary banana skin and fall over, just as his foot hits the ball. This will then zoom off and hit the goalpost, before rebounding and striking John in the red face.

The second will see John trying to take a penalty whilst walking on his hands, but somehow only managing to make the ball move an inch with his head. And the third will feature John, in a clown's uniform, tied to a railtrack, while a steam engine races towards the penalty spot, keeping viewers in suspense, wondering if he can untie himself in time to hit the post again, before the Man United goalkeeper throws a custard pie in his face.

Chelsea manager, Hal Roachram, said: 'This is comedy at its best, a retarded mackerel could do better than John at penalties, that's why I chose him to take one, to set his comedy career going.' And England manager, Fabio Caporegime, said: 'Si, bene. Olivio Hardio e Stanilo Laurelli, e Gianni Terrio, si, grazie.' But commentating legend, John Motson, had this to say: 'Well, my word, how remarkable. This surely can only mean one thing - that I'll get to the point in ten minutes' time.'

Gary Lineker made this reporter consider suicide, rather than listen to his voice for another sec .... zzzzz.

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s6i36068
 
ThatOldRedMagic said:
I've already been told that thios is a photoshop thread, but apart from starting another where else should JT jokes go?

This is from 'The Spoof';

After his skillful penalty miss in the Champions' League final in Moscow, Chelsea captain John 'Ooh Betty' Terry is to appear in a series of silent films.

Director Buster Keaton has come out of retirement to guide Mr. Terry in his new career, and noting that John, with his idiotic grin and pasty-faced complexion, is his double, Mr. Keaton said that three short movies would be made, showing John's antics to an already laughing world.

In the first, John will run towards a ball, then suddenly slip on an imaginary banana skin and fall over, just as his foot hits the ball. This will then zoom off and hit the goalpost, before rebounding and striking John in the red face.

The second will see John trying to take a penalty whilst walking on his hands, but somehow only managing to make the ball move an inch with his head. And the third will feature John, in a clown's uniform, tied to a railtrack, while a steam engine races towards the penalty spot, keeping viewers in suspense, wondering if he can untie himself in time to hit the post again, before the Man United goalkeeper throws a custard pie in his face.

Chelsea manager, Hal Roachram, said: 'This is comedy at its best, a retarded mackerel could do better than John at penalties, that's why I chose him to take one, to set his comedy career going.' And England manager, Fabio Caporegime, said: 'Si, bene. Olivio Hardio e Stanilo Laurelli, e Gianni Terrio, si, grazie.' But commentating legend, John Motson, had this to say: 'Well, my word, how remarkable. This surely can only mean one thing - that I'll get to the point in ten minutes' time.'

Gary Lineker made this reporter consider suicide, rather than listen to his voice for another sec .... zzzzz.

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s6i36068
Click to expand...

:lol: :lol: Absolute class!
 
John Terry after the US game:

"If I'm being honest, this was the last place I wanted to come this week, seeing all the Manchester United players," said Terry. "But it's actually done me a huge favour. It was a relief, really, to have an England game rather than have the whole summer to dwell on what happened in Moscow. The manager gave me a huge boost when he told me I was going to be captain and, hopefully,
I've repaid him. I've shown that I'm a big man. I take full responsibility for what happened in Moscow but I'm a man for the big games and I've shown that."


bigui8.jpg
 
My appreciation to Suresh for pointing me in the direction of this thread....


Very good work by all, funniest thing I've seen in a long time with a special mention in dispatches to Top....
 
Has anyone seen that gif where Terry says something like 'you dirty fecking argie' to Tevez, whilst wiping his nose on his sleeve?
 
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