These have probably already appeared on another thread, but I just saw them on the Daily Telegraph website;
Why can't you get a cup of tea at the Bridge? All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Old Trafford.
Frank Lampard and Joe Cole were allegedly spotted out in Red Square last night, having clearly had one or two drinks. They were reportedly singing: "We're forever blowing Doubles."
John Terry used to be Mister Chelsea now he's Mister penalty
I always knew Drogba was a tart, but now it turns out he's a slapper as well.
When John Terry's missus is not in the mood, she makes him wear a Chelsea shirt to bed; no chance of him scoring.
Good news and bad news
Good news is Josep Fritzel is suffering the death penalty
bad news is John Terry is taking it
Whats big and blue and goes beep, beep beep?
The Chelsea open top bus reversing back into the garage.
Does this give a new dimension to meaning of the expression
Terry Firma