Imagine we actually bought nobody - How would you line up?

EL spot would be fairly impressive as a new manager, I could have prime Messi, Maradona and Pele and I'd get relegated in my first season.

All of my colleagues tell me I'd make a great boss so it would be vibes FC the sequel.
 
De Gea
Dalot Bailly Varane Shaw
Donny Fred
Sancho Bruno Rashford
Ronaldo

I’d essentially play our best players because I don’t know better, until they have big prolonged drop offs in form. I think we’d finish around 6th if I was manager. One thing I do firmly believe in is that if the players don’t try, a manager has no chance anyway, be it Pep, Ole, Rangnick or the tea lady.
 
DDG
Laird Varane Bailly Shaw
Garner
VDB Fred
Amad Ronaldo Sancho
Toss up between Bruno and VDB, VDB is more of a team player in midfield so he edges it, especially with Ronaldo as striker.
Bruno has 86 PL appearances with 28 goals and 25 assists but ya VDB :lol:
 
So you want me to say that I would get United relegated? Well, I don't think I would. It would have to be sabotage to get us relegated. Daniel Farke and Dean Smith are far better managers than me too, but they didn't finish any higher than I would have.


You're not "a manager". You've never coached or managed football at any level. You think the difference between you and ETH is a mere 4 or 5 league places? As I say, the conceit and delusion of football fans is amazing. I wonder how long until the clubs cotton on to the fact that they don't need to pay professionals millions, they can just parachute in a fan, stay up, and then surely with a little bit of experience, the following season your performance should match what an ETH, Guardiola, or Klopp could do with the squad?! :smirk:

Yes, you would get them relegated.
 
DDG
Dalot Varane Maguire Shaw
VDB Garner Bruno
Martial Rashford Sancho

Anything except Fred or Scott, I can't take another season of it. I'm hoping Ten Hag can get Martial firing again.
 
I will bench Ronaldo, immediately losing the dressing room, then call Shaw fat and Maguire slow in press conferences. Basically anyone who I think is not playing well will be insulted after a game. Will end up starting with Elanga and whoever's left that don't hate me and then resign.
 
Bruno has 86 PL appearances with 28 goals and 25 assists but ya VDB :lol:
Ya VDB. Bruno practically plays as a forward leaving a big hole in midfield, so there's nothing wrong with going for a player that could add more stability. He wasn't impressive at all last season.
 
That awkward moment everyone’s picking Garner, only for him to go back to Forest on loan.
 
So many hipster choices in here with the likes of Laird, Amad and Garner considering how little PL experience they have. And to an extent Bailly considering he's pish.

Sadly I don't see any other possible formation other than this:

De Gea
Dalot Lindelof/Maguire Varane Shaw
Fred McT/Donny
Bruno
Rashford Ronaldo Sancho
Edit - And the guy who put Elanga at RB, but that's so ballsy I almost want to see it :D
 
I’ve had enough of quite a few of the squad, and Id no doubt get the sack anyway so id stop playing the majority of the pricks. I realise this isn’t the best side but I can’t face seeing the likes of Maguire, Rashford etc again.

De Gea
McTominay - Varane - Shaw
Elanga - Garner - Donny - Fred
Bruno
Sancho - Ronaldo​
 
So many hipster choices in here with the likes of Laird, Amad and Garner considering how little PL experience they have. And to an extent Bailly considering he's pish.

Sadly I don't see any other possible formation other than this:

De Gea
Dalot Lindelof/Maguire Varane Shaw
Fred McT/Donny
Bruno
Rashford Ronaldo Sancho
Edit - And the guy who put Elanga at RB, but that's so ballsy I almost want to see it :D
Up to the new manager to decide who's less pish. Lindelof, Maguire or Bailly.
 
De Gea



Elanga

Sub. Donny 89th min
I've got 3 players so far.

Bailly injured
Maguire's in a cell somewhere
Bruno kicked a lamp post for coming on too soon
McTom concentrating on his youtube fitness channel
Fred still in Brrazil, returning soon
Rashford and Sancho still on their hols
Ronaldo fashionably late, will be available soon
Shaw is off filming a Desperate Dan movie
 
Let's use some creativity and look at our other non-footballing staff to get them involved.

Maureen from the canteen forming a formidable partnership with Sally from the laundry room. It's the only thing we haven't tried. We're tried paying big, we're tried paying little, we're tried loans, we're tried freebies. This is the only thing we haven't tried.

Can't wait to see Gareth from maintenance tearing it up and scoring 30+ league goals a season.
 
Probably the same as always really..... or near enough.

----------‐------------------ de gea---------------------------
Awb---------------Maguire---------Varane---------Shaw
-----‐---------------Fred-------------Mejbri-----------------
Sancho----------------Fernandes----------Rashford
-----------------------------Ronaldo---------------------

I really hate that Midfield but it's the only one I can think of with any bite.
 
You're not "a manager". You've never coached or managed football at any level. You think the difference between you and ETH is a mere 4 or 5 league places? As I say, the conceit and delusion of football fans is amazing. I wonder how long until the clubs cotton on to the fact that they don't need to pay professionals millions, they can just parachute in a fan, stay up, and then surely with a little bit of experience, the following season your performance should match what an ETH, Guardiola, or Klopp could do with the squad?! :smirk:

Yes, you would get them relegated.
This is futile, so I think we should just agree to disagree :)
 
Incredibly depressing thread

Don't think I can tolerate another season with the same team, I heard cricket is fun these days?

Seeing the same lineups here makes me want to punch my screen.
 
De Gea
AWB Varane Maguire Shaw
Fred McTominay
Elanga Bruno Sancho
Ronaldo

We'd finish somewhere between 6th-10th.
 
Taking a trip to a parallel, nightmarish reality - Assume that tomorrow the season kicks off. ETH has stormed off back to Go Ahead Eagles and left you in charge. How do you line us up?

Bonus question: Where do we finish the season across all competitions?

Just for fun of course. I'm sure we'll sign many, many brilliant players, as soon as Frenkie returns our calls ..


De gea
Hopelessness misery Maguire torture
Despair grief
Pain suffering anguish
Ronaldo​
 
I'd probably just point blank refuse to play AWB, Maguire, Dalot, Rashford, Martial, Shaw, McT and probably Fred regardless of the situation. They would never get in the team, not even as a time wasting sub or in a last minute desperate need for a goal. They've had their time and have proved beyond any doubt they just aren't good enough.

Henderson
Laird Varane Lindelof Williams
Garner Hannibal
Bruno
Elanga Ronaldo Sancho​
 
You all need to take Ronaldo out of your line ups because no signings and he is off if reports are to be believed.
 
Fairytale:

De Gea
Laird Tuanzebe Maguire Shaw
McTominay Garner Mejbri
Amad Rashford Sancho

Get us in the CL spots:

De Gea
Dalot Varane Maguire Shaw
McTominay Fred
Bruno Van de Beek Sancho
Ronaldo
 
I don't know why but this so far seems so very similar to when DM took charge. Watch for the last minute, overpriced panic buys.
 
EL spot would be fairly impressive as a new manager, I could have prime Messi, Maradona and Pele and I'd get relegated in my first season.

Nah don't be daft. Stick those three on a field with 8 other competent bodies and you've got top half, regardless of the manager.

Just slice the oranges at half time and make sure to wash the kit with Pele's favourite fabric softener and jobs a good'n.
 
De Gea

Laird Varane Maguire Shaw

VdB Fred

Bruno

Rashford Ronaldo (c) Sancho
I'm looking for any excuse to get Hannibal in there, so Rashford better pull his finger out.
 
De Gea
Lindelof. Varane. Shaw
Dalot Garner Fred. Mejbri
Amad. Ronaldo. Sancho
Defend in a 433/451 and look for good variations in wide area between the 4 players out wide when attacking. Less need for a DM with a back 3. In attack I'd want it to look more 325 with Dalot giving width on the right and Mejbri and Sancho interchanging between one tucking in and one providing the width.
 
Last edited:
De Gea
Lindelof. Varane. Shaw
Dalot Garner Fred. Mejbri
Amad. Ronaldo. Sancho​
What in the world have Amad, Hannibal or Shaw done to be starting where they are?! Even garner. I know it's personal choice and all that, and I want to see the youngsters break though too but really...
 
It's a rinse and repeat folks.

We're gonna sign 2 new players, max, this summer, and neither of them will he FDJ.

The minute we heard the bollocks about this group finishing 2nd 2 years ago was when the alarm bells started ringing for me.

Plus, you know, firing they guy saying what we all know, once he started saying what we all know.
 
What in the world have Amad, Hannibal or Shaw done to be starting where they are?! Even garner. I know it's personal choice and all that, and I want to see the youngsters break though too but really...

Amad because I believe he has a far bigger upside than Elanga and I'd want to push him on. Personally I think Elanga was dire for the last part of the season.

Pretty much the same with Hannibal but I also want a player there that can play as a midfielder and a winger, with the ability to play good football (ie can pass well and be creative), can take players on and has good energy.

Garner because I see no other option. I don't want a half baked DM that is limited on the ball, so no Mctominay.

Shaw is more a LB anyway if you read what I said. Hannibal to provide some cover. In possession I'd want the 3 CBs to stretch out and provide passing options, but would be relying on Dalot to recover to make a back 4 when we lose the ball.
 
What in the world have Amad, Hannibal or Shaw done to be starting where they are?! Even garner. I know it's personal choice and all that, and I want to see the youngsters break though too but really...
You make it sound like we have a wealth of options. Amad is currently our only left footed right winger and Shaw is one of our best players in top condition.
 
You make it sound like we have a wealth of options. Amad is currently our only left footed right winger and Shaw is one of our best players in top form/condition.
There is a reason that Amad has been in and out of the Rangers side and considered not ready by two successive united managers. Doesn't matter if he's left footed, right footed or ambipedal when he's not ready.

Shaw was one of our best players quite some time ago at left back. Whether he can recapture that form is one thing, whether he can do it as part of a back three is quite another.
 
We're not in any universe going into next season without a signing...so pointless exercise.
 
There is a reason that Amad has been in and out of the Rangers side and considered not ready by two successive united managers. Doesn't matter if he's left footed, right footed or ambipedal when he's not ready.

Shaw was one of our best players quite some time ago at left back. Whether he can recapture that form is one thing, whether he can do it as part of a back three is quite another.
Solskjaer didn't play him because he was being stubborn and cut him out as soon as he started to shine. He wanted to spend the whole budget on Sancho in the summer to prove a point, after missing out on him the previous window with money going on the likes of Van de Beek and Amad instead. Rangnick didn't play him because he values strong physical players over small technical ones. Van Bronckhorst dropped him after the Celtic game and went for more experienced players in a vital part of the season in the League and Europa, who went on to play really well so it was an unfortunate situation for Amad. Using the Rangers loan against him is a load of bollocks really, he only played badly on 2 occasions for them, one being away at Celtic park where the whole team collapsed.

Considering him as a starting option on the right wing is reasonable given the options. He's a great talent that needs experience, just like Greenwood did at the start of his senior career.
 
I would play a 3-5-2 diamond. It will be the best type of balance.

Ronaldo Rashford
VDB
Sancho McTominay Bruno
Garner
Maguire Varane Lindelof
De Gea​
 
DDG

Dalot Maguire Varane Shaw
McT Fred
Elanga Bruno Sancho
Ronaldo
 
I have some new ideas, would want to try something totally different, maybe something like this:

DDG
Elanga Varane Bailly Fernandez
Fred Garner
Sancho Mejbri Garnacho
Ronaldo
If Ronaldo is leaving, maybe I will try Bruno at no.9.
 
------------------------- ( the goal)
XXXXXXXXXXX (the players)

Something like this and just hope the other team can't hit the top corner.
 
What
A - Feeling - It - Is
Being - The
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