My mate named his black labrador nigger. I'm fine with it.
And of course because language matters and is a major force in forming societal norms.
Has political correctness actually gone mad?
- Thread starter Pogue Mahone
- Start date
My mate named his black labrador nigger. I'm fine with it.
And of course because language matters and is a major force in forming societal norms.
Or to look at it another way. Why do "people like you" need to judge others as cringey and basic because they use the term wifey?
And did you not read the bit about the dictionary definition stating that it is a derogatory term?
Surprised to learn that 'wifey' was a condescending term. I had always assumed it was affectionate.
Echoing the point made above, but I imagine the majority of people under 30 most probably see it as an affectionate way of referring to their wife.
Echoing the point made above, but I imagine the majority of people under 30 most probably see it as an affectionate way of referring to their wife.
There are hundreds if you search for them. It is used in the same patronising way as "little woman at home".
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I wouldn't have thought it was patronising and surprised to hear it is, thought it was just a pet name that married people use sometimes.
My wife changed her contact info in my phone from her name to “Wifey 
” the day we got married.
Context: we’re in our 20s and from the Southern US. It’s the same as her calling me “hubby” to anyone we know.
Should I change it to “spousal unit” to avoid offending anyone?
” the day we got married.Context: we’re in our 20s and from the Southern US. It’s the same as her calling me “hubby” to anyone we know.
Should I change it to “spousal unit” to avoid offending anyone?
Yes, you should. You never know who might steal your phone.
In my mid-30s, would never have considered 'wifey' to be a problem.
Should I give my female companion a firm talking to for setting her contact up as such?
My wife changed her contact info in my phone from her name to “Wifey
Context: we’re in our 20s and from the Southern US. It’s the same as her calling me “hubby” to anyone we know.
Should I change it to “spousal unit” to avoid offending anyone?
. Spousal unit makes me chuckle a bit.First time hearing this too.
A REAL Lady, Not your only but your favourite, different from them hood rat chicks. - urban dictionary
A condescending way of referring to a person's wife. - oxford dictionary
Wife - Merriam-Webster
an informal word for wife - dictionary.com
an insulting word used for referring to a man’s wife - macmillan dictionary
urban one wins again.
A condescending way of referring to a person's wife. - oxford dictionary
Wife - Merriam-Webster
an informal word for wife - dictionary.com
an insulting word used for referring to a man’s wife - macmillan dictionary
urban one wins again.
I blame Judy Blume.
You should do up a PowerPoint explaining to her why she should be offended, including the dictionary definition, historical references and excerpts from this thread.
As always context matters. A boss referring to female employees he regularly takes the piss out of as a 'wifey' would clearly be sexist. By contrast a husband using it as an affectionate term for a partner clearly isn't.
The only time I've heard anyone use the word wifey was a friend talking about an unrequited love and it was just sad and pathetic.
Sounds like a plan!
Well both would actually be sexist. Just not meant to be offensive in the later case. Language informs societal norms even when the intent isn't to offend and this it is how sexist/racist/whatever language remains in every day use without the user often being aware of the issue.
I'm not judging people for using it, you are. I'm just saying that in experience the people I know that use it are a bit basic. I'm talking to the types that update Facebook just to say "Hubby just ran me a bath with candles, I'm so lucky!", or "Me and the wifey about to open a bottle of wine for lunch, #its8pmsomewhere".
The semantics of language evolve over time and certain groups of people use words in different ways. As of now, nigger is still defined as a contempuous term for a black person, yet it is used neutrally between black people. My point is this - If a couple want to refer to each other as hubby and wifey then their intent behind the word means much more than the connotations you associate with it. If you are the sort of person who sees a blokes phone pop up with wifey when she rings and then proceeds to think "God this guy doesn't even realise how sexist and insulting he is being" then sorry to say, but you are just a bit of a wanker.
My point (or one of them) was that you were criticising me for thinking (holding the opinion) that a word with a patronising and demeaning dictionary definition was in fact a bit sexist when you were, ironically, quite happy to think people who used it were "basic". You can't claim that calling people basic isn't a judgement. You even call them types in this post.
Now in your scenario with someone who had named their partner wifey in their phone I wouldn't neccesarily think they were sexist as the possibility exists that they are ignorant of the words meaning or even the slim possibility that they were using the term ironically. Of course as Douglas Adams once said
If that makes you think me a wanker the care factor is sub-zero.
And it bears no resemblence to black people appropriating the term nigger to reduce its power as there is no suggestion of wifey being used in a similar way. It is either sexist or ignorant or ironic. I don't think I've ever seen the later usage but I'm it probably does happen very occasionally.
I don't think people are basic for using the word. Anyone can use it. But in my experience, it's a certain type that use it. Shall we move past this?
I'm critizing you because as I said, I think the intent behind a word and the natural evolution of its semantics shouldn't be gated. Sure, some people might be ignorant to it's original meaning, but if we're entertaining the notion that a number of people are using it as a genuine term of endearment or just ironic humour then that's ok isn't it? We don't need to sit here and say "No no, it's sexist, please don't use it".
What are even arguing about anymore? I just want it to be ok to use a word that used to mean one thing, and for it's meaning to change relative to the intent behind people using it.
You've pitched this twice now. There are lots of black people of different types in this world. Do you think they all feel the same way about the term 'nigger'? So why assert that the term is used neutrally between all of them then? FYI there are lots of black people that are uncomfortable about it's usage all over the world, in all forms.
Don't make the mistake of basing your whole perception of a race off of rap and street vernacular.
It hasn't really changed though. It's dictionary definition is still the same and just because some people are ignorant of its meaning doesn't make it ok to use even if it is in some way better than people being intentional vile sexists. Although the inafantising of the word wife is pretty sexist and demeaning in of itself even if the actually definition was other than it is. This is of course an opinion but the definition is a fact given that nobody ever has "reclaimed" the word from sexists, possibly apart from the very occasional person who uses it in irony (if they exist).
You might not think it matters but it really does. Language is incredibly powerful and if not challenged inappropriate words, terms and phrases inform society that such opinions are ok.
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OED definition:
wifie
(ˈwaɪfɪ)
Also wifey, wify.
[f. wife n. + -ie, -y 6.]
1786 Burns Poems, chiefly in Scottish Dial. 126 His clean hearth-stone, his thrifty Wifie's smile. 1819 Keats Let. 18 Sept. (1931) II. 439, I intend to write a letter to you[r] Wifie. 1825 Jamieson, Wiffie, a diminutive from wife; generally expressive of smallness of size, but sometimes merely a fondling term, S. wifie. [The accompanying quot. for wiffie is dubious.] 1841 Tupper Twins vi, Turn bachelor again‥, leave wifey at home. 1862 E. B. Ramsay Remin. i. i. 13 Whaur's the auld wifie? 1888 Mrs. H. Ward R. Elsmere xix, I know you have worries of your own, wifie.
wifie
(ˈwaɪfɪ)
Also wifey, wify.
[f. wife n. + -ie, -y 6.]
Little wife: used as a term of endearment for a wife.1786 Burns Poems, chiefly in Scottish Dial. 126 His clean hearth-stone, his thrifty Wifie's smile. 1819 Keats Let. 18 Sept. (1931) II. 439, I intend to write a letter to you[r] Wifie. 1825 Jamieson, Wiffie, a diminutive from wife; generally expressive of smallness of size, but sometimes merely a fondling term, S. wifie. [The accompanying quot. for wiffie is dubious.] 1841 Tupper Twins vi, Turn bachelor again‥, leave wifey at home. 1862 E. B. Ramsay Remin. i. i. 13 Whaur's the auld wifie? 1888 Mrs. H. Ward R. Elsmere xix, I know you have worries of your own, wifie.
To be fair Wibbs, I use the term occasionally interchangeable with sweetie or honey or similar usually on things like present tags, valentine or birthday cards etc. It's not a term I've ever considered to be sexist or demeaning and looks like something that maybe belonged in the sort of 1950s like the Harry Enfield type "little woman" skits, "so easy even your wifey can do it" type of bollocks.
It's not a term I'd use when referring to my wife externally as it does sound a bit patronising in the same way "'er indoors" or "the missus" might but between the two of us it's just an affectionate pet name rather than something we would deem to be insulting.
It's not a term I'd use when referring to my wife externally as it does sound a bit patronising in the same way "'er indoors" or "the missus" might but between the two of us it's just an affectionate pet name rather than something we would deem to be insulting.
Ah here. I won’t miss wifey but don’t take that one away from us, dammit!
I do use it jokingly when posting on here but if I were to use it within her earshot in public I'd be likely to get a crack around my own ear as I know it's a term she hates. Sometimes which words like that their acceptability can have regional and age connotations as well. I know when I worked on the markets up north in my youth everyone referred to any woman around your age or much older as "luv" or occasionally "duck" for the real old ones but if you tried that down south you'd get a mouthful at least whereas down here they use the term "hun" instead which sends my wife right up the pole and doesn't seem right to me as I am assuming it's a shortening of honey which seems like a weird way to refer to a stranger, though no weirder than love or mate I suppose.
Context and intent are everything really as dictionary definitions change over time and can mean something completely different or another age group or culture. Just look at the way the Pakistani cricket team are referred to in Australia and New Zealand and try to imagine the commentators in the UK using the same word.
There's parts of Yorkshire where blokes call other blokes luv, with no untoward intent at all.
Yeah, in Lancashire it's common to call someone of the other sex luv, whether older or younger. It's just friendly and partly intended to disarm, you would never call someone you were seriously chatting up luv, for instance, or use it in formal situation, but buying a paper for instance, or being sold a paper, it's perfectly normal and not intended as an insult in any way. If people take it as an insult they should educate themselves a bit more.
Now that's offensive but not because of the language used, just for the shear cringeworthy saccharine shiteness of the whole thing.
Yeah, I never got the Yorkshire concept of calling other blokes luv, that one seemed really weird to me but I guess when it's become an incredibly commonplace greeting it just trips off the tongue, a bit like the scousers and "la".
Quiet now, love.
Dropped a good few panties back in the day tho
I wouldn't use it but the term hubby doesn't infantise anyone and it doesn't have a derogatory dictiobary definition.
There is a genuine split here. If I called Mrs Jip wifey or she called me hubby, it would be an affectionate term, not that we use either. Because of her Mauritian roots it tends to be French platitudes like beb or chou, and with all due respect @Wibble in my personal experience, wifey has never been a demeaning term to us, nor hubby. I guess cultural differences can be cavernous.
No it doesn't.
I grew up in the North and it wasn't a widely used term there. Far more a Southern term (although also apparently a Scottish term with a somewhat different but also negative meaning) but it has always been a term similar to "her indoors" or even more like "little woman at home". It's dictionary definition even says it is derogatory https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/wifey
Lots of terms are used without intent but shouldn't be used as they perpetuate stereotypes or confirms prejudice/discrimination. "The missus", which I have used on here but now try to avoid, implies ownership and we own pets not women. I'm sure there are other terms I use I shouldn't out of habit and I'm trying to stop. Just because people are unaware of it's meaning doesn't make it ok to use. We didn't give Suarez a break for using racists language because he said it wasn't insulting where he came from and we shouldn't do the same for sexist language.
We seem to have got a much better handle on not casually using racist language than we do on not using sexist language.
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