BREAKING NEWS - SKY SP0RTS
Chelsea target Mikky has agreed a move to London, after retiring from hockey and Instagram, in order to open a Blue Butterfly shop. The Dutch ace, wildly regarding by footballing experts on RedCafe as "proper fit", has been the focus of this summer's transfer rumours for several clubs. But Sky Sp0rts can now confirm that the sun and indie-pap of London has gained preference over the rain and shoegazer of Manchester.
"Yeehah!" Cried out Chelsea owner Todd Boehly, as he fired his six shooter at some nearby pigeons. "Them gals gonna sell them blue butterflies!" As part of the deal her partner Frenkie de Jong will join Chelsea as a midfielder or something.
Eric Ten Hag of United was angered by the news. "They feck us. They don't believe in the process and now we're fecked. Because RedCafe feck the deal up once again because they lose faith. Mikky check online. United fans not believe. She think feck it, might as well go to London instead. Sell blue butterflies. Now we have nobody to sell red butterflies. So feck RedCafe. Bellends."