Frenkie de Jong | The last muppeting lap

Frenkie to United?


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Looks easy. I’ll try it.

“It is known that De Jong has no desire to leave Barcelona and his Fiancé is settled there. It has been clear for some time he has no interest in joining MUFC and Chelsea is thought to be preferred due to being in London. If he leaves Barcelona, the lure of champions league football makes Chelsea clear favourites. De Jong’s stance remains he will NOT join MUFC. He prefers to stay at Barca and will not discuss a move. Barca remain confident of registering all their players including De Jong but he must accept a pay cut.”

All the above just made up by me. All sounds plausible doesn’t it?
Put a nice tweet border on it and many will buy it
 
BREAKING NEWS - SKY SP0RTS

Chelsea target Mikky has agreed a move to London, after retiring from hockey and Instagram, in order to open a Blue Butterfly shop. The Dutch ace, wildly regarding by footballing experts on RedCafe as "proper fit", has been the focus of this summer's transfer rumours for several clubs. But Sky Sp0rts can now confirm that the sun and indie-pap of London has gained preference over the rain and shoegazer of Manchester.

"Yeehah!" Cried out Chelsea owner Todd Boehly, as he fired his six shooter at some nearby pigeons. "Them gals gonna sell them blue butterflies!" As part of the deal her partner Frenkie de Jong will join Chelsea as a midfielder or something.

Eric Ten Hag of United was angered by the news. "They feck us. They don't believe in the process and now we're fecked. Because RedCafe feck the deal up once again because they lose faith. Mikky check online. United fans not believe. She think feck it, might as well go to London instead. Sell blue butterflies. Now we have nobody to sell red butterflies. So feck RedCafe. Bellends."
Should have added some "enhh" in Ten Hag's quote
 
You just know Mikky would much prefer London to Manchester. As would most people to be fair.
And you just know letting your wife make the football decisions for you based on the city and lifestyle means your football caereer would be more over than playing at CB suddenly
 
They are saying Chelsea are interested in De Jong. That is based on their own sources.

I totally get that 99% of the journalist rubbish is rubbish. But that 1% of credibility is reserved for Athletic and BBC equivalents. You can't just claim they are making things up because you don't like what you read.
Thats what i'm saying, the Athletic is reliable, so if they're saying Chelsea is interested, using their own sources, then why haven't any of the reporters who cover Chelsea all the time got it?
I understand the guy that wrote this is reliable for Chelsea, but they're literally the only ones, outside of Spain that is, thats reporting Chelseas interest? I'd have thought some English journos would have picked up on it by now. They seem too with most other targets?
 
Looks easy. I’ll try it.

“It is known that De Jong has no desire to leave Barcelona and his Fiancé is settled there. It has been clear for some time he has no interest in joining MUFC and Chelsea is thought to be preferred due to being in London. If he leaves Barcelona, the lure of champions league football makes Chelsea clear favourites. De Jong’s stance remains he will NOT join MUFC. He prefers to stay at Barca and will not discuss a move. Barca remain confident of registering all their players including De Jong but he must accept a pay cut.”

All the above just made up by me. All sounds plausible doesn’t it?

Now you just need to post that every other day for 2 months and you're golden.
 
BREAKING NEWS - SKY SP0RTS

Chelsea target Mikky has agreed a move to London, after retiring from hockey and Instagram, in order to open a Blue Butterfly shop. The Dutch ace, wildly regarding by footballing experts on RedCafe as "proper fit", has been the focus of this summer's transfer rumours for several clubs. But Sky Sp0rts can now confirm that the sun and indie-pap of London has gained preference over the rain and shoegazer of Manchester.

"Yeehah!" Cried out Chelsea owner Todd Boehly, as he fired his six shooter at some nearby pigeons. "Them gals gonna sell them blue butterflies!" As part of the deal her partner Frenkie de Jong will join Chelsea as a midfielder or something.

Eric Ten Hag of United was angered by the news. "They feck us. They don't believe in the process and now we're fecked. Because RedCafe feck the deal up once again because they lose faith. Mikky check online. United fans not believe. She think feck it, might as well go to London instead. Sell blue butterflies. Now we have nobody to sell red butterflies. So feck RedCafe. Bellends."
Eric ten Hag only had this to say earlier “Frenkie! Frenkie what the feck are you doing!? Heh”
 
I've already posted this but I think, as interested as Chelsea might be in De Jong, they won't be willing to match our offer for him. If Chelsea were interested enough to be willing to pay as much as we have one would think they'd have done so by now.
 
They are saying Chelsea are interested in De Jong. That is based on their own sources.

I totally get that 99% of the journalist rubbish is rubbish. But that 1% of credibility is reserved for Athletic and BBC equivalents. You can't just claim they are making things up because you don't like what you read.
That’s just silly.
 
This is going to end up as the worst/most embarrassing saga we've been involved in if he ends up at Chelsea. A whole summer potentially wasted chasing a rival's players, and the cultural reset damaged at the first hurdle. Club can't let that happen.
 
They are saying Chelsea are interested in De Jong. That is based on their own sources.

I totally get that 99% of the journalist rubbish is rubbish. But that 1% of credibility is reserved for Athletic and BBC equivalents. You can't just claim they are making things up because you don't like what you read.
Unfortunately, this is exactly what happens, especially in politics on social media.
 
I still believe we are going to get him. But better be prepared for the alternatives just in case.
If ETH really really wants him, which seems to be, then pay for a bit more and get him.
 
I just don't believe we are chasing that smug faced cnut all summer when he has no interest in joining us. I simply don't. That would such a major feck up.
 
I just don't believe we are chasing that smug faced cnut all summer when he has no interest in joining us. I simply don't. That would such a major feck up.
We haven’t been chasing though, we made a bid, it was accepted, De Jong doesn’t want to join us unless he has no other options and we’ve left it at that.
 
Well it’s someone at Barcelona seeing as he mentioned he was in Miami for the game.
Exactly, it'll be the same person thats been telling Sport what to write. Sport seem to have dropped that now.

As has been said, Chelsea know the price to pay, and they don't want to pay it. Barca aren't going to accept a lower offer just because it's Chelsea
 
You guys are easily embarrassed, let him join Chelsea, if a player didn’t want to join us and ended up joining another team it’s no loss to us, he didn’t value us enough, we don’t need any more of that. At this point it’s all speculation and he could well still come here but if he doesn’t don’t lose your minds over it.
 
Exactly, it'll be the same person thats been telling Sport what to write. Sport seem to have dropped that now.

As has been said, Chelsea know the price to pay, and they don't want to pay it. Barca aren't going to accept a lower offer just because it's Chelsea
I think the only way Chelsea get him is if we pull our bid and Barcelona have to accept a bid of around £50m instead.
 
They are saying Chelsea are interested in De Jong. That is based on their own sources.

I totally get that 99% of the journalist rubbish is rubbish. But that 1% of credibility is reserved for Athletic and BBC equivalents. You can't just claim they are making things up because you don't like what you read.
The Athletic are genuinely as bad as the rest of them these days. It was a great idea when it started but they’ve succumbed to clickbait/aggregator pieces like the rest of journos because not enough people were paying for the subscription.

Basically, he’s being forced out but doesn’t want to move and, even if he can be convinced to leave, he will want his money. Until that impasse is cleared, he might as well be linked with Bognor Regis for all we care.
 
So many feeling embarrased this morning, willing to walk away already.

Get a hold of yourselves lads, This ships not for sinking.
 
What other targets? ETH believes they are all inferior and prefers to go with internal options if it comes to it
I honestly don’t know, but there has to be someone else would could do a job and move Fred into his role instead for a while? De Jong might be the best option but there has to be someone in another position we could get instead to bolster numbers.

One of my biggest concerns with managers like Ten Hag is how rigid they are when it comes to the requirements needed to be successful. Sometimes you don’t get what you want or what’s ideal but you have to get results. We can’t finish 5th this season and say it’s because we didn’t get De Jong, that isn’t going to fly with anyone.
 
Chelsea players don't actually live in London do they? I was under the impression that most lived close to their training in Cobham, which is in Surrey!
 
I think the only way Chelsea get him is if we pull our bid and Barcelona have to accept a bid of around £50m instead.
Thats not going to happen. EtH is dead set on this happening.

It's like the whole de Jong prefers Chelsea etc, how do we know? He's not said anything to anyone in the media at all, and i seriously doubt he'd be telling people what he'd prefer knowing it would likely be leaked. My guess is Barca is saying he prefers Chelsea to get them involved and start a bidding war, as they know United REALLY want him and would likely pay a bit more.

Still, thats my opinion, i really don't know whats going on as does no one else here
 
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