“Dicks is lobbing Seaman from outside the box”
Football phrases that grinds your gears
- Thread starter Micky Targaryen
- Start date
Neville: Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
"Touch-tight".
"Drops his shoulder"?
"Opens his body up" - Just what the feck does that mean exactly??
Oh...and basically any American sports commentary just makes me want to vomit.
"Drops his shoulder"?
"Opens his body up" - Just what the feck does that mean exactly??
Oh...and basically any American sports commentary just makes me want to vomit.
‘Liverpool beat Young Boys in a frantic come from behind effort’
Never beat the cricket classic “the batsman is Holding, the bowlers Willey”
Worst name in football history.
"rejizzled him with a scathing 2 2 there"
I'm from the future so you won't have heard this yet
I'm from the future so you won't have heard this yet
Yep. Take the post / cross bar away & a shot would result in a goal kick.
When Newcastle were struggling decades ago opposing fans used to chant “Cox out” with reference to Arthur their manager at the time.
"Was it a tight game?"
"Well the xG stats show that..."
At that point I tune out and go and talk to someone who actually enjoys watching football.
"Well the xG stats show that..."
At that point I tune out and go and talk to someone who actually enjoys watching football.
Or the famous snooker one referring to a player struggling to reach the cue ball.
“Fred Davis, the doyen of snooker, now 67 years of age and too old to get his leg over, prefers to use his left hand.”
Ted Lowe
And their stadium, the Wankdorf
Hadn’t heard that one beforeTeam plays shit in first few weeks of the season but scrapes a 1-0 win: "at this stage of the season it's not about performances, it's about grinding out a result"
Team plays shit in middle of the season but scrapes a 1-0 win: "at this stage of the season it's not about performances, it's about grinding out a result"
Team plays shit in last few weeks of the season but scrapes a 1-0 win: "at this stage of the season it's not about performances, it's about grinding out a result"
So at what stage does everyone agree that it's NEVER about the performance, it's ALWAYS about the result?!
Team plays shit in middle of the season but scrapes a 1-0 win: "at this stage of the season it's not about performances, it's about grinding out a result"
Team plays shit in last few weeks of the season but scrapes a 1-0 win: "at this stage of the season it's not about performances, it's about grinding out a result"
So at what stage does everyone agree that it's NEVER about the performance, it's ALWAYS about the result?!
I always feel those sorts of teams are on the verge of collapsing down the table too when the shite performances catch up with them, like United under Ole at times and Spurs this season.
For that, we have the phrase: "It's a results business".
Not really a football phrase just idiotic commentators, but recently I've heard one commentator talking about Haaland 'rewriting history' and just then another saying Salah is also 'rewriting history'. I didn't realise Haaland and Salah were time travellers as well as footballers, to be honest I'd have thought that would be slightly more impressive than kicking a football around but apparently not.
I first started paying attention to the use of this around Moyes time here, as it was used a lot to describe Moyes. An honest, hard working man, and I've been asking for a definition for honest in this context for a long time, and no one has answered. Generally it just seems to be a way to try to compliment a player/manager when they're crap and they can't find anything else to say.
Drives me mad. Carragher and Neville especially use that phrase constantly.
Wankdorf stadium
Cross, cum shot.
"If he learns how to dribble he'd be a top player".
Nobody has ever learned how to dribble once they become a pro. If they're shite at if they're shite at it forever.
Nobody has ever learned how to dribble once they become a pro. If they're shite at if they're shite at it forever.
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Agree. Dribbling requires a lot of natural talent. Good dribblers show their skill since they are kids, what they usually need to improve is decision making. A lot of them dribble when they have good passes available or the other way around.
When commentators say “He’ll never score a better goal in his career”
How the feck do you know? You got a crystal ball or something?
How the feck do you know? You got a crystal ball or something?
Eh? Those are all pretty common terms used even in your 5-a-side game.
"Unlucky"
I think it is Glen Hoodle who says that on commentary but it gets on my tits. Seem to say it when something -anything- doesn't come off for any player regardless if they made the wrong decision by doing that in the first place.
Mitoma tries to dribble past AWB and gets the spider treatment - "Unlucky"
Bruno decides to shoot when slipping in Rashford was the better decision. Shot gets saved or worse, deflected for a corner. - "Unlucky"
I think it is Glen Hoodle who says that on commentary but it gets on my tits. Seem to say it when something -anything- doesn't come off for any player regardless if they made the wrong decision by doing that in the first place.
Mitoma tries to dribble past AWB and gets the spider treatment - "Unlucky"
Bruno decides to shoot when slipping in Rashford was the better decision. Shot gets saved or worse, deflected for a corner. - "Unlucky"
First it was talking about minutes. Getting minutes etc.
Now it's about players having "moments".
"hit it too well" to describe attempts that didn't end in a goal- wtf.
"X is the best league in the world" = more often than not, X is pretty much the only league that one watches.
"He was almost being too clever" to describe an action that was miscalculated/the wrong decision/didn't come off. that's stupid, even though I know what the commentator means.
"X is the best league in the world" = more often than not, X is pretty much the only league that one watches.
"He was almost being too clever" to describe an action that was miscalculated/the wrong decision/didn't come off. that's stupid, even though I know what the commentator means.
‘We go again’, which normally follows a poor performance.
Go where - missing?
Go where - missing?
Rolls Royce of a player
Next goal could change the match
And just listening to Gary Neville fawning over TAA. He really has a hard on for Trent. Never understood the fascination
Next goal could change the match
And just listening to Gary Neville fawning over TAA. He really has a hard on for Trent. Never understood the fascination
"Modernise"
I'm always questioning it here.
Pundits but especially fans chuck it in all the time without it having any real meaning but the inference of it meaning "better"
Modern diets, modern training techniques, modern facilities, modern tactics etc.
Whenever I ask a poster specifically what they mean you rarely get an actual answer.
One poster said we need to modernise the academy. What does that even mean? I don't think even they know.
I'm always questioning it here.
Pundits but especially fans chuck it in all the time without it having any real meaning but the inference of it meaning "better"
Modern diets, modern training techniques, modern facilities, modern tactics etc.
Whenever I ask a poster specifically what they mean you rarely get an actual answer.
One poster said we need to modernise the academy. What does that even mean? I don't think even they know.
Saying “but” at the end of sentences. This one may be unique to Jamie Carragher though.
"player of the match"? Feck off!
'They're taking some water on board' instead of just drinking water, like any normal person would say.
Great servant for the club.
They should be waterboarded for coming out with that pish.
Slow Motion Zombie Football. It’s football analysis for people who like Little Britain.
‘By the way’
I feel like Neville says it most and maybe started the trend but everyone seems to be on the bandwagon now.
I feel like Neville says it most and maybe started the trend but everyone seems to be on the bandwagon now.
The run in is the "business end" of the season. Well, the whole season is the business end of the season.