fecking bollocks thread

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dc_red said:
Great :lol:
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It's true.

You know what the bad side of buying an expensive new TV and surround system for your wedding is? The Mrs digging out the Lord Of The Effing Rings to see how clear and nice the pic/sound is.

'kinell. :(

(Congrats to Slabber on 50 Pages of fecking Bollocks.)
 
dc_red said:
Sign him up Jason
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Jason is unfortunately part of the huge global conspiracy to keep me out of the profession for which I have an unprecedented gift.
 
Slabber said:
Jason is unfortunately part of the huge global conspiracy to keep me out of the profession for which I have an unprecedented gift.
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After FredtheRed trips outside OT and sues Glazer for a billion dollars and hires Jason's firm for an international tort suit in Tampa you can be brought in as an international expert Slabber
 
Slabber said:
Jason is unfortunately part of the huge global conspiracy to keep me out of the profession for which I have an unprecedented gift.
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I think it's because you're a spurs fan.

jason, that's racist!
 
dc_red said:
After FredtheRed trips outside OT and sues Glazer for a billion dollars and hires Jason's firm for an international tort suit in Tampa you can be brought in as an international expert Slabber
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Come to think of it - if he wins he can just buy the club and we'll be done with all this shite
 
jasonrh said:
Slabber, Julissa says "tell him your boss wouldn't let you sign him up either".

I think I am a chattel now.
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A chattel real, as we say.
 
Slabber said:
I've told you before, I'm a genius.

Will no one believe me?
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I believe you. I'm just not going to jail to sneak you through the immigration net.

Cross the border at Mexico or Canada like a good terrorist.
 
jasonrh said:
I believe you. I'm just not going to jail to sneak you through the immigration net.

Cross the border at Mexico or Canada like a good terrorist.
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All I need is a job offer, then I can legitimately get a visa. Nothing fraudulent about it.

If you don't have a proper job to offer, we can make one up, for a nominal wage.

I'll do the Florida bar and everything.
 
Slabber said:
All I need is a job offer, then I can legitimately get a visa. Nothing fraudulent about it.

If you don't have a proper job to offer, we can make one up, for a nominal wage.

I'll do the Florida bar and everything.
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You'll prob need to do an LLM - 1 yr deal. You can get an H-1B for a decent wage to start. All you need is a job offer
 
dc_red said:
You'll prob need to do an LLM - 1 yr deal. You can get an H-1B for a decent wage to start. All you need is a job offer
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I don't even need an LLM. Just to do a US state bar. Plus a job offer.
 
Slabber said:
I don't even need an LLM. Just to do a US state bar. Plus a job offer.
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Are you sure - there's a girl in our office from Argentina who has to do an LLM even though she a law degree from Argentina and was a practicing lawyer there. She's working with us on an H-1b as a paralegal at the moment
 
dc_red said:
Are you sure - there's a girl in our office from Argentina who has to do an LLM even though she a law degree from Argentina and was a practicing lawyer there. She's working with us on an H-1b as a paralegal at the moment
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If you have a law degree from the UK, you don't need anything but the US Bar exams.

If you have a law conversion from the UK, you can only qualify at the California Bar, unless you do an LLM, or something.
 
Slabber said:
If you have a law degree from the UK, you don't need anything but the US Bar exams.

If you have a law conversion from the UK, you can only qualify at the California Bar, unless you do an LLM, or something.
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To get a temporary visa (H-1B) I think you'd need to be licensed as an attorney before you got the visa. You could work as a paralegal straight away and then convert
 
dc_red said:
You could work as a paralegal straight away and then convert
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Though to do that I'd need a job offer, I think.

That's where Jason comes in, or unfortunately doesn't.
 
Slabber said:
Though to do that I'd need a job offer, I think.

That's where Jason comes in, or unfortunately doesn't.
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Yes - the job offer is key. Alternative is to get a job with a big firm in London who has international offices over here and after a year get an intra company transfer on an L-1 - it's easy (management or specialized knowledge)
 
dc_red said:
Yes - the job offer is key. Alternative is to get a job with a big firm in London who has international offices over here and after a year get an intra company transfer on an L-1 - it's easy (management or specialized knowledge)
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Yes, I've thought about that. My difficulty is that I'll struggle to get a job in a solicitors firm on the basis that my CV gives away that I started in a solicitors' firm and jacked it in to become a barrister because I hated it.
 
Slabber said:
Yes, I've thought about that. My difficulty is that I'll strggle to get a job in a solicitors firm on the basis that my CV gives away that I started in a solicitors' firm and jacked it in to become a barrister because I hated it.
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Yeah - but a barrister position is more highly qualified anyway so what does it matter. A lawyer over here (and everything is generally specialized) is more akin to a barrister especially if you'e involved in litigation etc. And at any rate your knowledge as a solicitor (which as far as I remember can be involved with conveyancing/wills/contracts etc) plays into any other issues that go on here anyway. The basis is the Anglo-American system so what does the employer care.

I've worked in a law firm here for 5 years - i'm at law school at night and I've seen some fecking gimps around
 
dc_red said:
Yeah - but a barrister position is more highly qualified anyway so what does it matter. A lawyer over here (and everything is generally specialized) is more akin to a barrister especially if you'e involved in litigation etc. And at any rate your knowledge as a solicitor (which as far as I remember can be involved with conveyancing/wills/contracts etc) plays into any other issues that go on here anyway. The basis is the Anglo-American system so what does the employer care.

I've worked in a law firm here for 5 years - i'm at law school at night and I've seen some fecking gimps around
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I agree. But solicitors don't necessarily see it that way, and that's who I'd have to apply to in the UK.

I suppose the American firms aren't strictly solicitors firms...
 
Slabber said:
I agree. But solicitors don't necessarily see it that way, and that's who I'd have to apply to in the UK.

I suppose the American firms aren't strictly solicitors firms...
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American firms (other than mine) will realise that you are someone who has the higher qualifications and appreciate that fact.

They couldn't give a feck about solicitor/barrister territorial piss fights in the UK.
 
No luck finding a chamber then mate?

Would I be correct in assuming that poor arse kissing skills have contributed to your dilema?

I'd give you a job if I had a law firm. Which I don't
 
Wibble said:
No luck finding a chamber then mate?

Would I be correct in assuming that poor arse kissing skills have contributed to your dilema?

I'd give you a job if I had a law firm. Which I don't
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Thanks Wibbs.

No luck at all. I can't even get interviews from the shitty government.
 
jasonrh said:
American firms (other than mine) will realise that you are someone who has the higher qualifications and appreciate that fact.

They couldn't give a feck about solicitor/barrister territorial piss fights in the UK.
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I may give that a go.

Will they like it if I say I'd like to work in the US?

Or do I give them some bullshit about why I want to work for an American firm, and then look for a transfer once I'm in?
 
Slabber said:
I may give that a go.

Will they like it if I say I'd like to work in the US?

Or do I give them some bullshit about why I want to work for an American firm, and then look for a transfer once I'm in?
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Generally firms over here just want to see someone who can do the job. There's loads of people over here who go to law school and then dont actually work in law firms.

Depending on where your experience lies, you can bet that there will be a firm somewhere with a good position manager/director for someone who knows their shit
 
dc_red said:
Generally firms over here just want to see someone who can do the job. There's loads of people over here who go to law school and then dont actually work in law firms.

Depending on where your experience lies, you can bet that there will be a firm somewhere with a good position manager/director for someone who knows their shit
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It's getting the job offer from the UK that's the difficulty.
 
Slabber said:
It's getting the job offer from the UK that's the difficulty.
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Very true - my mate was well high up in the banking industry. Headhunted by big banks etc in England but wanted to move over here (not any more - he's settled at home) but found it hard to get the offers from the US when he was based in the UK
 
I always thought I should have done law. Not so sure now.

And I'm too old to change careers again anyway.
 
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