What if they do actually have monkey-like lips?
For instance, Peter Reid, Kevin Phillips and Martin keown all resemble monkeys...it's surely not impossible for a black player to resemble a monkey?
It is a tricky one mind...at the Nou Camp last week, the bloke in the seat behind me kept screaming "Feck off yer little fecking monkey" at Ronaldinho...and while Celtic fans are rarely racist, and in the way he moves Ronaldinho is very like a nimble little monkey, at the same time the bloke was almost certainly being a racist cnut.
Probably best avoided really...shame though, as some people really look like monkeys and it's a shame not to be able to say so. Giggsy looks a bit like a monkey, and he's half black I believe...a borderline case I guess.
Anyway, back to the main topic, why don't you tie yourselves to cranes like human wrecking-balls and then repeatedly swing at each other at about 50 miles an hour?
I'd pay good money to see that