Rumours doing the rounds now on Twitter that another potential Middle Eastern buyer has made a last minute bid to buy the club. A Sheikh Yaerbuti. Anyone heard of him?
Club Sale | It’s done!
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Something like that, but now I'm too hungry for apples and pears to think about it.
Sheikh Sheikh Sheikh
So, the apple is mine, but it actually belongs to the guy who lent me pears until I've paid him off. Now, some other apple lover wants my apple, and he says he'd pay me for it and also pay the pear guy?
Hmmm. You know a lot about this. You must be an in-cider.
criss cross applesauce as they say
But they never actually pay off the debt, just use money from the club to pay interest on the loan and the debt is still there
If he's involved, you can be sure it's serious - he's not known for arsing around.
Out of interest, how many Sheikhs are there?
Wow. Is this common in the business world? Why don't more people do it?
He's a twerker isn't he?
I think it isn't uncommon, its called a leveraged buyout, but post 2008 with lower interest rates and stricter lending standards, theres less incentive for banks to actually do it
If you posted it then sure
Nearly had me then
Oh man. Now he will zapp-ap the deal quickly
Yeah I've heard he's a very serious and stern character. Once he takes on a project it isn't long before he shakes it up and gets to the bottom of things.
Yes.
Thanks ChatGPT!
Prompt: Explain a leveraged buyout using apples and pears.
Prompt: Explain a leveraged buyout using apples and pears.
Sure! Let's say you're interested in buying a fruit stand that sells apples and pears, but you don't have enough money to buy it outright. One way to do this is to use a leveraged buyout.
First, you find a partner who is willing to invest some money in your fruit stand purchase. Let's call them the "investor." Together, you agree to buy the fruit stand for $10,000.
You and the investor each put in $1,000 of your own money. That gives you a total of $2,000.
Next, you go to a bank and ask for a loan to cover the rest of the purchase price. The bank agrees to loan you $8,000, but they want collateral in case you can't pay back the loan. You offer the apples and pears in your fruit stand as collateral.
With the $8,000 loan, you and the investor now have $10,000 to buy the fruit stand. You own the fruit stand, but you owe the bank $8,000 plus interest.
Your plan is to increase the value of the fruit stand by improving its operations and increasing sales of apples and pears. If you're successful, the fruit stand will be worth more than $10,000 in the future.
Once the fruit stand is worth more than $10,000, you can sell it for a profit. You use the profits to pay back the bank loan and the investor's initial investment, and you keep the rest for yourself.
First, you find a partner who is willing to invest some money in your fruit stand purchase. Let's call them the "investor." Together, you agree to buy the fruit stand for $10,000.
You and the investor each put in $1,000 of your own money. That gives you a total of $2,000.
Next, you go to a bank and ask for a loan to cover the rest of the purchase price. The bank agrees to loan you $8,000, but they want collateral in case you can't pay back the loan. You offer the apples and pears in your fruit stand as collateral.
With the $8,000 loan, you and the investor now have $10,000 to buy the fruit stand. You own the fruit stand, but you owe the bank $8,000 plus interest.
Your plan is to increase the value of the fruit stand by improving its operations and increasing sales of apples and pears. If you're successful, the fruit stand will be worth more than $10,000 in the future.
Once the fruit stand is worth more than $10,000, you can sell it for a profit. You use the profits to pay back the bank loan and the investor's initial investment, and you keep the rest for yourself.
I want an apple. I really want the apple you have in your hand. But I have feck all money.
Luckily, I have a friend who has oranges. He's willing to give me one of the oranges if I can get him an apple. "An apple?" You say, "I have an apple in my hand!"
I know you do. I've always known.
So I come into your house in the middle of the night and shit in your kettle. When you come downstairs to have a morning brew you immediately think "who the feck shat in my kettle?!" It was me. I did it because your kettle is now my kettle. In fact, your entire house is now my house. I bought it last night when you were sleeping.
How did I afford to buy your house even though, as previously stated, I don't even have an apple to my name? Look at your hand. Missing anything? That's right, cnut, you haven't got the apple anymore. Neither do I. But I did have it. Oh, yes siree. And I gave that apple to my friend who sells oranges, who gave it to his friend who sells houses, and I used your own apple to buy your house from under your fecking nose. And there's nothing you can do about it because all of the paperwork has been signed you stupid prick.
Now, clean the shit out of my kettle and get the feck out of my house.
I need to get on board with this wacky stuff. Thanks for the post. Some kid in my son's 10the grade class got suspended for somehow, all of sudden, writing these cohesive essays......
What the feck is with those obviously fake tweets.
This made my evening.
What’s the latest? I had to mute the thread all day so I could get some work done, rather than arguing with random people on the internet.
You should write textbooks
WW2 according to Mr. P
Quantum Mechanics by Mr. P
A Short History of Kettles - Mr. P
Necessity is the mother(s) of invention.
Teachers everywhere are cursing it's very existence, but I love it. Come aboard!I need to get on board with this wacky stuff. Thanks for the post. Some kid in my son's 10the grade class got suspended for somehow, all of sudden, writing these cohesive essays......
Need this in black and white with a parental advisory, explicit content tag, and "mob ties" written at the top in oily black
We all know there’s no guarantee with anything. The best people are who we the owner seems them to be, current or new employees.
Again this fear of change and ambition just makes no sense. If the new owners want to bring in new people then I don’t see the slightest issue.
I have a lovely old apple tree in my garden. Am I rich enough to buy United?
Classic
Does that Apple tree grow iPhones? If so, yes
JR certainly seems serious although I think Qatar will get it.
Truth is none of us know how this will pan out going forward, no more moral high ground if Qatar does get the club whether we like it or not.
If the Qatari's stick to their promises fair enough and we can sustain ourselves but it just doesn't sit right with me.
As long as the football is front and centre, I'll get used to it
Truth is none of us know how this will pan out going forward, no more moral high ground if Qatar does get the club whether we like it or not.
If the Qatari's stick to their promises fair enough and we can sustain ourselves but it just doesn't sit right with me.
As long as the football is front and centre, I'll get used to it
ChatGPT does it again @CantonagotmehereChaz and Dave do Finance
Prompt: Explain a leveraged buyout according to Chaz and Dave.
Certainly! Chaz and Dave were a British musical duo known for their cockney accent and songs about life in London. Here's an explanation of a leveraged buyout using their style and language:
Alright mate, so you're lookin' to buy a business, but you ain't got enough cash in your pocket to do it. No worries, a leveraged buyout is 'ere to save the day!
Here's how it works, yeah? You find a partner who's willin' to put some dough into the purchase with ya. Together, you agree to buy the business for a certain amount, let's say 50 grand.
Now, you and your partner put in some of your own money, maybe 5 grand each. So now you've got 10 grand.
But you still need 40 grand to buy the business, right? So you go to the bank and ask for a loan. The bank agrees to loan you the 40 grand, but they wanna make sure they get their money back. So you use the business itself as collateral for the loan.
So now you've got the 50 grand to buy the business, but you owe the bank 40 grand plus interest.
Your plan is to improve the business, make it more profitable, and increase its value. If you succeed, you can sell the business for more than you paid for it, and that's where the real money comes in, mate.
You use the profits from the sale to pay back the bank loan and your partner's initial investment, and then you get to keep the rest for yourself, ya see?
That's the basic idea of a leveraged buyout, Chaz and Dave style. It's like takin' out a loan to buy a business and makin' it work for ya so you can sell it for a tidy profit.
Alright mate, so you're lookin' to buy a business, but you ain't got enough cash in your pocket to do it. No worries, a leveraged buyout is 'ere to save the day!
Here's how it works, yeah? You find a partner who's willin' to put some dough into the purchase with ya. Together, you agree to buy the business for a certain amount, let's say 50 grand.
Now, you and your partner put in some of your own money, maybe 5 grand each. So now you've got 10 grand.
But you still need 40 grand to buy the business, right? So you go to the bank and ask for a loan. The bank agrees to loan you the 40 grand, but they wanna make sure they get their money back. So you use the business itself as collateral for the loan.
So now you've got the 50 grand to buy the business, but you owe the bank 40 grand plus interest.
Your plan is to improve the business, make it more profitable, and increase its value. If you succeed, you can sell the business for more than you paid for it, and that's where the real money comes in, mate.
You use the profits from the sale to pay back the bank loan and your partner's initial investment, and then you get to keep the rest for yourself, ya see?
That's the basic idea of a leveraged buyout, Chaz and Dave style. It's like takin' out a loan to buy a business and makin' it work for ya so you can sell it for a tidy profit.
No news then….
The loser could always buy Liverpool as a runner-up prize.
Needs more monkeys and ponies and mouldy old dough. And probably rabbits too
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