Alright people, I don’t know about you but I’m sick and tired of random human rights groups complaining about our sale, so I’ve compiled this letter. Can you please add your names to this letter.
Dear UEFA,
I know you have recently been contacted by FairSquare, a charity aimed at ending exploitation of migrant workers and to eradicate the influence of dictatorships across the world. However, me and my friends have discussed this and feel it’s important to give the other point of view. It is important to look at both sides of the issue.
1) Despite FairSquare focusing on the rights of human beings and treating the vulnerable well, they haven’t taken into account the fact Bellingham is available in the summer and the fact United would have more money on FIFA if this goes ahead.
2) I have spoken to some of the experts on Qatar and they have assured me of the following points.
a) Most women love living in Qatar
b) Any human rights charities have been influenced by Western propaganda.
c) Servants are common and if they didn’t want to be treated appallingly they can just leave.
d) England would accept slavery in a few weeks anyway, so we can’t just judge Qatar by this metric.
e) People like, totally use iPhones anyway so there’s no point protesting Qatar.
3) Some pesky fans believe that being owned by a nation state is “wrong” and that countries with a lack of care for the most vulnerable in society should not be able to change public perception with sportswashing projects. However, I reiterate again - Jude Bellingham will probably move this summer and we are not sure that Eriksen is the long term solution.
4) I am not sure why human rights groups are even getting involved. Why don’t people like FairSquare and Amnesty International just focus on helping out those who need it, it’s only football at the end of the day.
5) As countless people have pointed out. The UK government and the USA government have done bad things before. Why are FairSquare not writing to them now about purchasing United?!
Thank you,
Wumminator.