Celebrity Allegations, #MeToo etc
- Thread starter Buchan
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All the posts that have been deleted should tell you who.
It is, I wrote in the bloody post.
Jesus. you were actually answering my question? Like you are thicker than you sound.
I have been groped and harassed by women. Can't say it had emotional effect on me though. I think these types of things help to make men harassing women more taboo, which is a good thing. People shouldn't have their space invaded.
I am in agreement with @Regulus Arcturus Black in that there has to be a defining line between the two and what I've read on Facebook and other examples, the two issues are being blurred. Also, it's just not physical, there's mental and verbal harassment/assault.
Looking at someone the wrong way without saying something becomes interpretation at best, but when the recipient of the wrong look has harassment, is it really harassment?
When you're going through puberty, adolescence, teenage years, you don't understand too much and sex education classes don't really dive into it. Plus, with smart phones and communicating apps (i.e. fewer in-person engagements and interactions), you can do things that should be classified as harassment and/or assault, but it's not always viewed that way.
Current culture from music, TV, politics and the influence of the internet/apps does not help either.
Looking at someone the wrong way without saying something becomes interpretation at best, but when the recipient of the wrong look has harassment, is it really harassment?
When you're going through puberty, adolescence, teenage years, you don't understand too much and sex education classes don't really dive into it. Plus, with smart phones and communicating apps (i.e. fewer in-person engagements and interactions), you can do things that should be classified as harassment and/or assault, but it's not always viewed that way.
Current culture from music, TV, politics and the influence of the internet/apps does not help either.
Genuine question: is the campaign only for women? I've yet to see a man post anything, which I think is a damn shame. Men get sexually harassed too, but almost none of us dare to speak up. It seems like the world in general is not ready to take mens' issues seriously.
Fwiw: #MeToo
Fwiw: #MeToo
I can honestly say I've never been sexually assaulted.
I hid under the closet and heard my mother get punched in the face and i was terrified.
I've seen my grandma lock my father out and my neighbour call the police because he was throwing stones.
I've been held against a wall and wet myself. He never touched me that way. Another @Billy Blaggs thing.
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I've posted on Facebook. Damo's posted in here.
I think a lot of men would feel they'd be in some way 'intruding' by taking part. It certainly crossed my mind before I posted on Facebook but I decided I thought more people would be happy I posted it than not.
You've never had a girl grab your arse randomly? That's sexual assault if it's the other way around.
No. Not that I didn't encourage.
I had a situation once where I was in a taxi after a night out and a friend of mine came into the car, we were both drunk but she just would not stop trying to kiss me, grabbing me all that, kept demanding I came back to her house but denied it and went home. Both me and the cab driver just laughed it off, but looking back I did think "That was not ok, if the tables were turned I'd beat getting my arse kicked by that same cab driver"
The girl text me the next day saying "sorry, i'm bi-polar and was having some crazy medication trip" Funnily enough the same girl is now the biggest feminist/womens right activist on my facebook so whenever she shares stuff about rape culture etc. it does piss me off.
*edit* I actually still have the message and she says and I quote "Sorry I tried to rape you"incredible.
Screenshot that into her next ranty facebook post....
Pretty much. And even in cases wherein alcohol/drugs aren't involved, power can end up being more important than strength. People can be coerced into doing acts they don't want to out of fear for perhaps being accused themselves, or having info they don't want to be revealed about themselves revealed - say something intimate they've shared with someone who's exploited it for their own gain.
Take the example recently of Terry Crews - he says himself he was much, much bigger than the guy who groped him, and he'd have likely been able to beat the living shite out of the guy if he'd wanted to. But he opted against direct retaliation because he knew that would put him in trouble, and I suspect that's true for a lot of people of both genders who stay silent when conviction rates aren't always that high.
Additionally, the 'strength' argument creates connotations of this being something that happens in a dark alley when a shady looking man assaults a woman who's much smaller than him - obviously there are plenty of cases of that happening, but there are plenty of cases of people who're assaulted by people they know and trust, in circumstances which they may actually doubt themselves (out of fears they're exaggerating) until someone else confirms to them they were assaulted from the way they relay the story. Look on, say, Reddit threads on the matter (or other matters where it crops up) and you'll see a lot of people who talk about a sexual experience/event they weren't too keen on, only for others to tell them that they were, in fact, sexually assaulted.
Same. Now i don't mean to sound sexist, but i don't think men in general feel as threatened by unwanted attention as women do.
Yeah, I dont think most guys really know how it feels to feel like prey.
Its not pleasant
From the stories I've heard on campuses I'm surprised it is that low.
Sounds like its in the right ball park to me too.
Me too by both men and women. All complete strangers.
I remember years back a campaign called "Reclaim the Night" - it was protesting about women not being able to just walk alone after dark. Even now at my age, I don't go out with my dog on these darker mornings. I don't think there'll be many men who have to think like that, and it's been that way my whole life. You feel vulnerable, especially when you're short and small.
Feck me. Seriously? What country?
Have to say it always bothers me when an initiative is started to highlight some sort of issue or trauma that women experience and a load of dudes feel the need to pile in and say “but we suffer too!”
Apart from anything else, it undermines whatever progress we’re making in helping men handle their own traumas. They are much better handled without trying to piggy-back them on woman’s issues.
All this wading in does is remind everyone of MRA eejits who refuse to accept that being born female gives someone any kind of unique hardships in life. Which is, of course, bollox.
Apart from anything else, it undermines whatever progress we’re making in helping men handle their own traumas. They are much better handled without trying to piggy-back them on woman’s issues.
All this wading in does is remind everyone of MRA eejits who refuse to accept that being born female gives someone any kind of unique hardships in life. Which is, of course, bollox.
I do think there's a case to be made that a lot of men's rights issue aren't taken particularly seriously, and in particular that rape against men is something that's often laughed at and shrugged off. I can understand the qualms of people who think they're being marginalised in debates like this.
Still, I'd absolutely agree that a lot of people raising such qualms do so in the wrong way, and in a way that makes them come across as more bitter and confrontational than anything else.
I think it's important to distinguish this from the version without the word 'but'. 'We suffer too' can be a very supportive sentiment.
Agree completely. I just think there’s a time and a place to raise these issues. And I don’t think that time and place is when people are trying to raise awareness about sexual assault experienced by women.
On a side note, I also disagree that sexual assault is as big a problem for men as it is for women and don’t understand why some people try and ignore the difference in the power dynamic betwen men and women whenever this is discussed.
This. A thousand times this.
I tend to see a parallel with harassment and racism where the sexes are concerned. As an adult male, a woman could grope or catcall me and it would roll off my back 10 times easier than it would a woman, I might even find it nice. A woman on the other hand probably just wants to walk down the street without being shouted at by some builder who could obviously overpower her. It's like how a black person could racially abuse me, but I'd be able to let it go much easier than the reverse scenario. It's a much different dynamic.
My girlfriend couldn't believe it when I said I actually found it nice getting catcalled in the street. I said well firstly it's happened like twice, ever, and we take it as a compliment because there's no threat tied to it. We can take the good bit, because we know the bad isn't coming. Women on the other hand can't take the compliment hidden inside because of all the potential consequences cradling it as its thrown their way. They literally walk down the road hoping no-one notices them.
My girlfriend couldn't believe it when I said I actually found it nice getting catcalled in the street. I said well firstly it's happened like twice, ever, and we take it as a compliment because there's no threat tied to it. We can take the good bit, because we know the bad isn't coming. Women on the other hand can't take the compliment hidden inside because of all the potential consequences cradling it as its thrown their way. They literally walk down the road hoping no-one notices them.
Definitely. I think part of the issue is that men aren't unionised as such. Women had to literally fight and protest just to be considered equals, they had to get together and fight a common enemy. Men have always just been there, going it alone and continue to do so. In fact it's considered a manly trait, just being a lone wolf who goes his own way in life. Which is why men are often told to just man up, or why mens issues are never really brought to the forefront, because for centuries we've given off the impression we can deal with them.
Yup. Agreed. The underlying dynamic makes all the difference.
Well no, not all at least. Many people make an effort to look good to attract attention from the opposite sex. Men and women. And a compliment from a stranger, even for women, can be a massive boost of confidence. What matters is a) the delivery. Must not be creepy or overtly sexual. And b) the person. Ultimately the same compliment from someone they find attractive might be perceived as good while from a builder 20 years their senior for example, is creepy.
Some men struggle with a). As for the b) that's where the lines get muddy.
Yeah, that's very fair - women literally only need to go back a couple of generations to find a time when they weren't able to vote in most advanced Western democracies, which makes it understandable when they're frustrated at people writing off certain key issues as being of the past.
Yeah I'm not gonna say there aren't women who like attention or compliments. But from complete strangers there's a lot of variables. The delivery as you say, the time of day, setting, person etc all result in a different reaction based on how in danger she actually feels. If it's a kind stranger telling her quietly that he likes her smile, that can make her day, she probably doesn't feel the threat I mentioned before as strongly. But gone midnight on a deserted road? She'd obviously be a lot more terrified.
This might be a good idea in theory but I can think of at least 10 people that are going to post this on Facebook because they post every fecking thing on Facebook. The same people who posted "I'm safe" after the Paris/London attacks when they don't even live there.
Wtf? Seriously?!
We have very different friend lists.
The US, mainly. UK as well.
edit. I think it was Biden who wanted to do something about it?
edit 2.
The senators noted that only 9 percent of some 11,000 schools reported any occurrence of sexual assault, domestic violence, dating violence and stalking, according to the most recent data provided under the Clery Act.
The reports that there were no incidents of sexual assault on 9-in-10 campuses “directly conflict” with a swath of peer-reviewed research that show around 1-in-5 female students will experience sexual assault by the time they graduate college.
I piggied back on it but feel fairly justified, dont think sex is necessarily relevant. I get your point i guess though
Even i have a shakey understanding of it relative to most women i'd think.
Its something that pops into my head once in a blue moon but I try not to let it stop me doing things like going for a walk and I guess im stubborn enough to manage that usually.
Or not ... I dunno,
I have an overactive prey instinct, I dont deal with stress or anything like that at all well.
Tragic isn't it.
It's one of the reasons I never use Facebook anymore apart from the group's feature. 300 odd "friends" and 200 of them I haven't seen since school. You don't have any people like that on your Facebook?