Film The Redcafe Movie review thread

I'd just like to re-iterate that Prometheus is really really terrible and perhaps the worst, laziest and dumbest Sci-Fi script ever written for it's comparable budget.

I might periodically remind you of this over and over for the next few weeks until I get it's idiocy out of my head.
 
On a scale of birdermicshit falling on your face and watching cement locke how bad is it?

Just realized Birdemic has a 1.8/10 rating on imdb, making it the most overrated film of all time.
 
While I know you're right about Prometheus, I still enjoyed it. Dunno how I'd describe why I liked it, visceral I suppose. 3D in the cinema it looked and sounded great despite how stupid the script was. Noomi Rapace and Fassbender are very good too.
 
On a scale of birdermicshit falling on your face and watching cement locke how bad is it?

Just realized Birdemic has a 1.8/10 rating on imdb, making it the most overrated film of all time.

Locke is a masterpeice compared to Prometheus. A pantwetting R.N7 art house extravaganza in black and white with esperanto sign language. I think I may have found a film I hate as much as The Departed. Everything about it is stupid.

While I know you're right about Prometheus, I still enjoyed it. Dunno how I'd describe why I liked it, visceral I suppose. 3D in the cinema it looked and sounded great despite how stupid the script was. Noomi Rapace and Fassbender are very good too.

Fassbender is indeed fantastic, despite playing a completely nonsensical character. Rapeface is annoying as shit, and pretty much the only non-English member of the cast playing the only English character for absolutely no reason whatsoever. And yet she somehow still manages to only be the 2nd most baffling casting choice, after the 40 year old playing a 90 year old for absolutely no reason.

Visually it's great, yeah. But so is taking acid and staring at a Rubix Cube.
 
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Her name confuses me, is it, like, Numi or did her parents spell Naomi wrong?

And if it is Numi, why couldn't her parents come up with a better name? Numi is just a crap sound.
 
I wonder if he ever received my letter of complaints about The Tree of Life.
Yo El Tel,

Release a ToL directors cut with every Sean Penn scene cut out, or I'll give yas bad press in the redcafe film thread. You've been warned!

With love,

Nilsson
 
I didn't hate it quite that much but it was a huge dumb disappointment given the huge anticipation. I probably hated The Departed more mind and nowhere near the utter dumb shitness of Face/Off
 
To be fair to Face/Off, it at least knows it's dumb. It cast Nicolas Cage as John Travolta and John Travolta as Nicolas Cage. That's not a movie with high minded aspirations. That's another acid trip if anything.
 
Face/Off is my least favourite of that Cage 96/97 Action trilogy... (Probably ranks Con Air/The Rock/Face off) still get a bit of a kick out of it though...
 
I was really disappointed by Face/Off because I was led to believe it was going to be 139 minutes of John Travolta slowly cutting Nicolas Cage's face off and watching him suffer.
The only thing disappointing about Face/Off is that it isn't even longer

I fecking loved face/off but I haven't seen it since I was 14.
Watch it again, it's still brilliant

Face/Off is in my top 10 best films ever.
Fixed.
 
Pusher- it's been reviewed in here before but it's an excellent film about a Danish drug dealer who gets into debt to his supplier and the increasing panic that sets in as the deadline for paying him back approaches. It's on YouTube with English subtitles if anyone is interested. I'm on the lookout for the 2nd and 3rd ones now.

The Guest- I thought it was decent. A bit far-fetched but had some good action scenes and the lead actor was suitably sinister when he needed to be.

Let's Be Cops- better than average Hollywood comedy that doesn't really tread any new ground but has some laugh out loud moments.

Inbetweeners 2- I thought it was hilarious. The whole cinema was in stitches throughout the film and it was so much better than the first one.
 
I'd just like to re-iterate that Prometheus is really really terrible and perhaps the worst, laziest and dumbest Sci-Fi script ever written for it's comparable budget.

I might periodically remind you of this over and over for the next few weeks until I get it's idiocy out of my head.

Agreed.

But if they make a sequel, I'll watch it. I won't be able to resist finding out what the story is with the big, bald guys.
 
Face/Off is a 10/10 Action Masterpiece. You pieces of shit.

22 Jump Street is also glorious.
 
Agreed.

But if they make a sequel, I'll watch it. I won't be able to resist finding out what the story is with the big, bald guys.

They're making a sequel that's been confirmed. Also saw the other day that Scott has confirmed there will be no Xenomorphs in the new one.
 
Agreed.

But if they make a sequel, I'll watch it. I won't be able to resist finding out what the story is with the big, bald guys.

And therein lies the trap of Linderlof, the hope that all his bullshit actually adds up to something, which it won't. I know he isn't the script writer but if he is involved in part 2 you can bet it won't make any sense again.
 
Face/Off is a 10/10 Action Masterpiece. You pieces of shit.
.

It is probably the worst mainstream Hollywood film ever made. So bad it is stunning. Two of the worst hollywood actorsof all time in the stupidest plotted "thriller" of all time. You need a lobotomy just to watch it all.
 
It is probably the worst mainstream Hollywood film ever made. So bad it is stunning. Two of the worst hollywood actorsof all time in the stupidest plotted "thriller" of all time. You need a lobotomy just to watch it all.


A manager of mine told me her two favourite actors of all time were Cage and Travolta...suffice to say I told her they were the two shittest actors of all time. She thought I was trying to wind her up, and refused to talk to me the whole day. Moral of the story is honesty gets you into a pickle.
 
A manager of mine told me her two favourite actors of all time were Cage and Travolta...suffice to say I told her they were the two shittest actors of all time. She thought I was trying to wind her up, and refused to talk to me the whole day. Moral of the story is honesty gets you into a pickle.

Cage can act, he just makes a lot of ridiculously bad films to pay off his debts. Raising Arizona, Leaving Las Vegas and Matchstick Men are proof that he has ability (or at least, did at one time).

Edit: I forgot 'Adaption' which he was also great in.
 
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Cage can act, he just makes a lot of ridiculously bad films to pay off his debts. Raising Arizona, Leaving Las Vegas and Matchstick Men are proof that he has ability (or at least, did at one time).

Proof he can mumble through a script as himself.
 
Just re-watched "Million dollar baby", forgot how good it was. One of the best boxing movies I've ever seen, brilliant performance by Swank and Eastwood. I'd say even the non-boxing fans would enjoy this one.
 
The Equalizer

Quite a good movie, the cinematography is quite good, and Denzel is Denzel, that man oozes charisma.

The bad guys are also good, although the fighting and believability is turned into comical nearing the end, all and all a good popcorn flick.

Chloe Moretz = Stunning

7.5/10
 
Cage can act, he just makes a lot of ridiculously bad films to pay off his debts. Raising Arizona, Leaving Las Vegas and Matchstick Men are proof that he has ability (or at least, did at one time).

Edit: I forgot 'Adaption' which he was also great in.

The strange thing about Leaving Las Vegas and Cage's Oscar award for the part is that the movie isn't really about Cage's character at all(Well maybe the first 20 mins). The main character and focus of the movie is clearly Elisabeth Shue character 'Sera'(Shue's performance is pretty outstanding in the movie and how she did winning an Oscar is mind blowing). Cage really is the backup(Although you can see why as he spends pretty much all the movie on the sofa killing himself)

Still Cage's role as the alcoholic is outstanding(He's performance can easily put you off drinking for ever) and his best performance to date and shows his got talent or at least did have talent as you said.
 
Nic Cage was ideal for his role in Raising Arizona but it's a terrible film.
 
Face/Off is a 10/10 Action Masterpiece. You pieces of shit.
Exactly!

It is probably the worst mainstream Hollywood film ever made. So bad it is stunning. Two of the worst hollywood actorsof all time in the stupidest plotted "thriller" of all time. You need a lobotomy just to watch it all.
You clearly have no taste
 
The Equalizer - A ridiculous, yet fun throw-back, one-man-army actioner. Some grand set-peices, some gritty action, and Denzel being a one-man show (though I enjoyed the main-villain, even if he's a bit wasted at the end)... it's basically exactly what you expect from this movie. It's a bit too long though (but then aren't most films these days) could easily lose around 20 minutes.

In terms of a vengeance film, it's not a patch on Man on Fire (though the vengeance element seems to disappear about half-way through the film and it's more Denzel tearing shit up for shits and giggles)... but then I don't think it's trying to be. It's a movie that knows what it is and doesn't try to be anything more.

I should preface the above by stating that I could watch Denzel bake a cake for 2 hours and still be thoroughly entertained.
 
Magic Mike - 7ish. Decent, but for some reason I'd been lead to believe this was a much better film than it was. I've got the sneaking suspicion that directed by someone else, it could've been quite bad. Soderberg's panchant for long takes and arty lighting fools you into thinking you're watching a much more important picture. The plot's G-string thin and outside of Tatum & McConaughey none of the characters are interesting and the stakes seem far too low. It's hard to care about the money troubles of someone living in a swish modern beachfront property and driving an enourmous humvee. Or indeed the relationship woes of Olivia Munn's booty call. The poor, poor man.

Sin City: A Dame To Kill For - 4. 57 year old Frank Miller continues to work through his issues with women that dumped him in the manner of a 16 year old sociopath about to embark on a high school shooting.

Dom Hemmingway - 6. Jude Law does a pale immitation of a Tom Hardy performance in a pale immitation of a Guy Richie film without a beginning or an end. It's basically the overlong middle of an okay film.

Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey - The guy playing Keanu Reeves' dad being possessed by Keanu Reeves does a better impression of Keanu Reeves than Keanu Reeves
 
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Heat - Didn't live up to the hype but enjoyable nonetheless. The bank scene was
excellent.

Starred Up - Solid prison drama with great performances by Jack O'Connell and Ben Mendelsohn. Loses its way at the end where it all gets a bit ridiculous.
 
Wishmaster
I remember enjoying this as a kid, especially because of the horror film star cameos but it has aged poorly. Bad acting and full of plot holes. If you enjoyed it as a kid don't re-watch it, it will ruin your memories 5/10
 
Skeleton Twins - it's held aloft by two excellent performances from Wiig and Hader, but there's not much film here. All ties up far too neatly and I'm a bit over this indie dramedy trend, led by the Duplass brothers, of making sympathetic characters out of generally horrible people.

Also good to know Luke Wilson is still alive.