Your Football Film/Series (Cause people like to f**k up my threads)

[Skizzo]

Sorry I hadn't realised Peter Crouch and Nacho Monorail were actors. Well in that case it doesn't defeat the whole object of the thread.

I was hoping since a croissant was cast in a role, I would be able to get away with it

 

[Matty7]

Film Name: The hairspray strikes back
Genre: Musical
Synopsis: David, a once successful band manager for 10 years on a 'goodison' level was finally offered the opportunity to show his worth in the 'Theatre of dreams'. However his lack of direction and band members let him down. Now aspiring to be more like Boyzone, Moyes and his newly recruited boys are looking to bounce back. Only there is one man in there way!

Cast:

Gary Sinise as David Moyes

Screech (Saved by the bell) as Marouane Fellani

Sideshow Bob as David Luiz

Kesha as El Shaarawy

Hiroyuki Sanada as Sinji Kagawa

Shirley off EastEnders as Robbie Savage

Will Smith as Wilfred Zaha

Owen Wilson as Lauren Moyes

 

[JamesB__]

Film Title: Balon D'uke
Genre: Period drama
Synopsis: There are no wealthier dukes in the entire country. Yet for Earl's Lionel and Cristiano that just isn't enough. Both need to be the richest, most famous in the land and year after year they better each other. But now there are two young dukes with the potential to knock them off the top. Can they be held back?
Cast:

Rylan Clark as Earl Cristiano

Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Earl Lionel

Jaden Smith as the young Duke Neymar

And Lee Evans as the young Duke Gareth

 

[Duffy]

2 belters. Great shout for Moyes.

 

[vanthaman]

Is anyone else reading these cast lists as though they were being read out by mockney?



At least I think that was mockney

 

[Duffy]

Cannot let this thread for, it has too much potential for hilarity!

 

[Maagge]

Film Name: Castaway
Genre: Drama/slapstick comedy
Synopsis: The successful business man, Per, boards a chopper to go and see his latest big client, an oil drilling company. With a course plotted for their newest oil rig everything seems fine until the pilot loses control of the chopper and they plummet into the sea. Per washes up on the shore of a remote island only inhabited by wildlife, or so he thinks...
Cast:
Neil Patrick Harris as Per Mertesacker

Maagge as Per Mertesacker a few months after the crash

Plank as Wilson

Ryan Gosling as Plank

Riff Raff as The Hermit

 

[Patchbeard]

Film Name: Hairboys
Genre: Thriller/Superheroes
Synopsis: Woy's Superheroes are more concerned with their hair than fighting national crime.

"Like Hellboy, just lots of them and a lot more pathetic."

Cast:

David Wenham as Adam Lallana

Alison Dean as Raheem Sterling (nothing original I know)

Leonardo Di Caprio as Jack Wilshere

Drake Bell as Leighton Baines

 

[Joemo]

Film: Face/Off(side)
Genre: Action thriller
Synopsis: In order to fool the opposition, United striker Chicharito undergoes a face transplant to assume the identity of the Arsenal keeper, but his plan is foiled when Sczescny has the same idea. Wayne Rooney finds himself angry and confused yet again.

Don Harvey as Wojciech Szczesny

Edward Furlong as Javier Hernandez

Devon Murray as Wayne Rooney

Cam Gigandet as Lukas Podolski

 

[harms]

Film: Face/Off(side)
Genre: Action thriller
Synopsis: In order to fool the opposition, United striker Chicharito undergoes a face transplant to assume the identity of the Arsenal keeper, but his plan is foiled when Sczescny has the same idea. Wayne Rooney finds himself angry and confused yet again.

Spoiler

Don Harvey as Wojciech Szczesny

Edward Furlong as Javier Hernandez

Devon Murray as Wayne Rooney

Cam Gigandet as Lukas Podolski

The synopsis is just sick Brilliant


There is a Russian actor who exactly looks like Sczescny - and he has that incredibly smart/witty look*, just like Wojciech, something that Don Harvey doesn't possess, in my opinion. He is also pretty bad at what he does, another similarity here.

*not actually

 

[Minkaro]

Film: Goal-Line
Genre: Sci-Fi
Synopsis: In a world where technology is slowly taking over, one man stands against the machine.

Timothy Spall as Jonathan Pearce.

Andy Serkis as Martin Keown (obviously doing one of his Gollum/King Kong style CGI roles)

Shia Labeouf as Karim Benzema

 

[Patchbeard]

I blame this one on Leighton Baines...

Series Name: Game of Footballers
Genre: Drama
Synopsis: HBO decide actors are overrated and replace them with footballers (many also overrated).

Cast:
*Warning: Fairly lengthy cast

Nicklas Bendtner as Jamie Lannister

Paul McShane as Joffrey Baratheon

Giovanni Trappattoni as Tywin Lannister

Franck Ribery as Tyrion Lannister

Edinson Cavani as Shae

Joey Barton as Bronn

Roy Keane as Robert Baratheon

David Beckham as Cersei Lannister

Leighton Baines as Bran Stark

Owen Hargreaves as Robb Stark (also as Jon Snow)

Dani Osvaldo as Khal Drogo

Robbie Savage as Daenarys Targaryen

 

[Patchbeard]

The oddball that is Martin Keown is perfect for Andy Serkis.

 

[Wittmann45]

Through a Glass Darkly

Murder Mystery

The story of two investigators attempting to solve a violent murder in North London. The investigation is hampered because there was only one witness; a businessman with a steady job, voyeuristic tendencies and an affinity for young French talents, Arsene. Though the crime was committed literally in front of Arsene's eyes, so close in fact that his shoes were covered in blood, he has no recollection of the murder. The investigators struggle to understand whether the witness' non-committal and vague answers to relatively straight forward questions like, "what did you see happen?" are deliberate ploys to obstruct the legal process or the ramblings of a man turned senile by years of heartache and defeat.

Tagline: "I did not see it"

Joey Barton as Detective Frank Friedrich Aristotle, they call him "Nietz" (Joey choose the name)

Ryan Giggs as Detective Paul Wilson

I figure they work like Rust and Marty type duo

One, the odd detective who likes to (think he can actually) discuss philosophy, the other a "family man" leading a unsavory second life

Principle Skinner as Arsene

Jayne Lynch almost got the part, but the ability of Skinner to look disheveled and downtrodden really let him highlight the core that is "Arsene"

 

[Patchbeard]

Through a Glass Darkly

Murder Mystery

The story of two investigators attempting to solve a violent murder in North London. The investigation is hampered because there was only one witness; a businessman with a steady job, voyeuristic tendencies and an affinity for young French talents, Arsene. Though the crime was committed literally in front of Arsene's eyes, so close in fact that his shoes were covered in blood, he has no recollection of the murder. The investigators struggle to understand whether the witness' non-committal and vague answers to relatively straight forward questions like, "what did you see happen?" are deliberate ploys to obstruct the legal process or the ramblings of a man turned senile by years of heartache and defeat.

Tagline: "I did not see it"

Where's the cast dammit!