What would your scout report say?

"
The Baby-Faced Football Terrorist

Right footed left-winger. Actually, I'm not sure if he can even use his left foot? I saw him try to Rabona like a cnut twice in 30 minutes. Speaking of; he only played for 30 minutes because he's not even a starter. I think the coach felt sorry for him. I can't have been the only one who noticed the tears in his eyes.

Other notes:
- Decent speed but no acceleration so it's all for naught
- Worryingly skinny
- Loves to slide tackle. Used to be a fullback?
- Great right foot though. Damn shame all things considered...
"
 
I've spent up to five full minutes watching a Youtube video and/or copied the opinion of the person above me/general consensus of the thread.

I would like to point out some traits that are seemingly so obvious that they can be identified in a short video, but somehow I inexplicably believe won't be noticed or considered by our actual scouts despite them being trained professionals with a world of data at their fingertips.

That's all you need, apparently. Easy this scouting lark, isn't it? :lol:
 
It wouldn't get past 'Made of glass, made of glass, made of glass, will be permanently in the medical room'. Short and sweet.
 
'Slightly worse than the 63 goalkeeping coach'
 
More one footed than Antonio Valencia. Hates tackling/being tackled. Rubbish fitness levels. Tactical genius.
 
Antony - done this really cool figet spinner circle thing. Sign him for £86 million.
 
Attitude 9/10

Ability 4/10

Defends like a dog and can be a good ball-winner…..but for fecks sake don’t expect him to do anything with it
 
The Scottish Casemiro.

Good back in the day, but fat and old now.
 
A bit in the short side but passes the ball well and has the vision to deliver a killer ball in between or over defenses.

Likes to shoot from distance and puts power on his free kicks. He once scored twice fro, 25 yards in PE class 20 years ago.

Prefers to stay in the middle of the pitch and wait for the ball to land in front of his feet. Doesn’t run much which could be down to poor fitness.

Has a bit of a limp on his left leg, and we worry that his leg might break if a hard tackle comes in.

Should be considered a last resort option only.
 
owenb1.jpg
 
Nearly 26 years old. Left winger who prefers to play left-footed like his dad. Fat and unfit. Capable of speed but only in short bursts.
 
Talks a good game. Remarkable disconnect between what he thinks he is doing and what is actually happening. Doesn't like it up him.
 
Poor movement
Disappears in big games
Expect the unexpected
Over dribbles
Can pass well but will dine on that one through ball all game
Cant shoot but won't let that stop him
Poor in the air, actively avoids heading the ball because it might mess up his hair
 
Mine would just say fat, possibly de ligt's dad. great passer.
 
Right footed. Offensively so. Stepped into a higher area once and struggled to get back into position. Absolutely zero touches on his left foot. Made some assertive pointing gestures while he strolled about. Adding almost nothing to play by walking around with his hands on his hips. Struggles with basically everything unless he's got a ton of time and space. Went off knackered after 30 minutes. Ankles appear to be made of paper.
 
"Not lanky. Not smooth. Can only dribble using one leg. Can only shoot using one leg. Gassed out after tracking back at 18th minutes. Spent 5 mins rolling on the ground to stop the play in order to drink. Missed a tap in chance - wasn't even a shot just a casual weak pass, ball stopped right on the line. Rushed by paramedics at the 40th minutes. Sacked in the morning."
 
One of the world’s most dynamic young athletes, didz is a multi-hyphenate phenomenon whose influence extends far beyond the field. A star player for the back alley national team, the 30something-year-old Earth native has achieved massive success as a forward for some schools and weekend clubs, including scoring 1705 goals in 312 appearances to date. With his latest triumphs including being named The Garden's Player of the Month for the second time, landing on TME’s “100 Next” list, and emerging as a magnetic new presence in the fashion world through ambassadorships with leading brands like Mike, Bevi’s, and Lurberry, didz has firmly cemented his place in the rare echelon of athletes with a sweeping cultural impact.

Dwaine Maynard can knock you one up for a fiver too.
 
To small only 5ft 6 ins, fit as a fiddle could run and work hard the whole 90 mins and more,10/10 effort and enthusiasm, 8/10 average performances, decent tackler and a good passer of the ball.Took all the penalty’s and only ever missed one, scored a few goals ,made some good assists,only real flaw was I was just not fast enough over the first 5/10 yards.a lack of pace and terribly one footed.This was many moons ago late 60s /70s.
 
didz said:
One of the world’s most dynamic young athletes, didz is a multi-hyphenate phenomenon whose influence extends far beyond the field. A star player for the back alley national team, the 30something-year-old Earth native has achieved massive success as a forward for some schools and weekend clubs, including scoring 1705 goals in 312 appearances to date. With his latest triumphs including being named The Garden's Player of the Month for the second time, landing on TME’s “100 Next” list, and emerging as a magnetic new presence in the fashion world through ambassadorships with leading brands like Mike, Bevi’s, and Lurberry, didz has firmly cemented his place in the rare echelon of athletes with a sweeping cultural impact.

Dwaine Maynard can knock you one up for a fiver too.
Click to expand...
:lol:
 
Not ready for a big club move. Should stay at at his current club or sign for Liverpool and then move on in a couple of years.
 
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