Good public service this. It means only one of us has to waste our time watching them.
To be clear though, we're going for films that are genuinely, and indesputably shite. Not films that were just slightly disappointing, or cheesy action flicks, that no matter how stupid, pointless, stereotypically racist, and repetitive, still manage to be slightly entertaining. I mean films that leave you literally feeling angry at having watched them.
Examples:
Fast and Furious - Was dragged along to watch this, thinking it'd be your average cheesy popcorn flick. Instead, seemingly the only real purpose of this film was to allow Vin Deasel (aka Riddic) to further confirm himself on the increasingly long list of male actors, who jump from one movie to the next, playing the exact same character in each one, merely changing their clothes to suit (the exception here being Keanu Reeves, who doesn't even bother to change his clothes. Ever). Plot holes that even the new Transformers movie would struggle to contend with, pathetic acting, failed attempts at Matrix style coolness. About as dramatic as ordering a pizza on the internet, much less so if you happen to lose your connection half way through, or can't decide on a topping.
Solaris - I simply didn't get this film, though it'd take some convincing for me to believe there was actually anything to get. Man goes on spaceship, has imaginary sex with dead wife, dies. That's it, except it drags the whole thing out for nearly two hours. It could have been about two minutes long and still dragged. Literally nothing else happens. I rented it from Blocbusters, on the grounds that there was a guy in a space suit on the cover, and therefore it'd either be good, or about aliens. How wrong I was. Avoid
Casino Royal - didn't understand what was trying to be accomplished here. Bond films are supposed to be light hearted action flicks. If they wanted to take a new direction, that's ok I guess, except, what the feck was this? It wasn't an action film, that's for sure, can't exactly call it a thriller, and except for one part where a guy suddenly and inexplicably gets electricuted and dragged off by two other blokes, it certainly wasn't funny. My theory is that the film originally had a plot/sequence, but they kept cutting bits out, until all that was left was the customary game of poker, which they nicked from one of the several other Bond films it also takes place in. So in the end, they just made that one game of poker last the entire film, and hoped no one would notice.
Now, watch someone go and dispute all three of those.
To be clear though, we're going for films that are genuinely, and indesputably shite. Not films that were just slightly disappointing, or cheesy action flicks, that no matter how stupid, pointless, stereotypically racist, and repetitive, still manage to be slightly entertaining. I mean films that leave you literally feeling angry at having watched them.
Examples:
Fast and Furious - Was dragged along to watch this, thinking it'd be your average cheesy popcorn flick. Instead, seemingly the only real purpose of this film was to allow Vin Deasel (aka Riddic) to further confirm himself on the increasingly long list of male actors, who jump from one movie to the next, playing the exact same character in each one, merely changing their clothes to suit (the exception here being Keanu Reeves, who doesn't even bother to change his clothes. Ever). Plot holes that even the new Transformers movie would struggle to contend with, pathetic acting, failed attempts at Matrix style coolness. About as dramatic as ordering a pizza on the internet, much less so if you happen to lose your connection half way through, or can't decide on a topping.
Solaris - I simply didn't get this film, though it'd take some convincing for me to believe there was actually anything to get. Man goes on spaceship, has imaginary sex with dead wife, dies. That's it, except it drags the whole thing out for nearly two hours. It could have been about two minutes long and still dragged. Literally nothing else happens. I rented it from Blocbusters, on the grounds that there was a guy in a space suit on the cover, and therefore it'd either be good, or about aliens. How wrong I was. Avoid
Casino Royal - didn't understand what was trying to be accomplished here. Bond films are supposed to be light hearted action flicks. If they wanted to take a new direction, that's ok I guess, except, what the feck was this? It wasn't an action film, that's for sure, can't exactly call it a thriller, and except for one part where a guy suddenly and inexplicably gets electricuted and dragged off by two other blokes, it certainly wasn't funny. My theory is that the film originally had a plot/sequence, but they kept cutting bits out, until all that was left was the customary game of poker, which they nicked from one of the several other Bond films it also takes place in. So in the end, they just made that one game of poker last the entire film, and hoped no one would notice.
Now, watch someone go and dispute all three of those.
