Thiago Alcantara | Signed for Bayern Munich

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I don't believe any of that. How would he know that MUFC have not heard from Thiagos people?.

Do you really think we've got somebody high up in the board telling all the secrets to goal.com?. He's just pissing in the wind is all.
 
Only if United don't understand how seriously the Spanish (or Catalans) take long holiday weekends.

Personally I do think he's still thinking about his options. His dad may be sure it's the right thing, but Thiago's being accused of running away from "The Greatest Bestest Fluffiest Bunniest Team on Earth Ever Ever" in favour of short term fun and more cash. And given he's on the beach this week, he may be looking at picture of Southport sands on his smartphone and wondering.
If he stays at Barca, he can forget being a part of the spanish squad for WC'14
 
Busquets, Fab, Xavi will play more than him for Barca, regardless of what he is promised. So those three, Alonso and Martinez will definitely be in the WC squad.
 
Ill eat my hat if we announced the signing of 3 player today with next to no leaks to the media regarding wrapping 2 of them up.
 
If this doesn't happen I for one will contemplate doing bad, bad things to Cider.

Like piss in his cereal.
 
God I hope this actually happens this morning... not because we'll have signed Thiago ('cos I mean really, who cares about that?!?), but because of how smug Cider will be (and deservedly so)... it could be the stuff of legend.
 
Walshy is such a prick but what's hilarious is that he and the rest of the pretentious twitter pricks can't see through a wum even if you spelled it out for them.

"OMG dem idiots at MCUDF forum is so dumb..."
 
So it's happening in half an hour? I'm going to have ssn up fired up.
 
Ill eat my hat if we announced the signing of 3 player today with next to no leaks to the media regarding wrapping 2 of them up.

I think the most surprising thing would be us to announce 3 big signings without a dedicated press conference - and no journalists have tweeted anything about a press conference. Unless it will simply be a written announcement that will be posted. Maybe this could be due to Moyes not officially starting until July 1st, so there will be the usual posed pictures then?
 
The red curtain had been in front of the press since they entered the room. Voices whisper and mutter, echoing around the room with wonder. Today is the first day of David Moyes reign as Manchester United manager. It had been 15 minutes since the journalists were allowed in, when suddenly the lights dimmed.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the moment you have all been waiting for..."

Silence.

Celebration by Kool and the Gang starts to play. The curtain lifts. There is a runway.

The music kicks up a notch... the announcers voice comes back on.

"Introducing, our first new signing. All the way from Barcelona. THIIIAAAAAAGOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Boom! Confetti bursts from the runway, Thiago comes out. He's on rollerskates wearing Man Utd speedos. He screeches to a stop at the end of the platform and does a wink and point. He skates back to the side of the runway and dances on the spot.

"Coming up next, signing number two.... KEVIN STROOOOOOOOOTMAAAAAN"

Confetti launches from the stage again, but Strootman is nowhere to be seen. The reporters gasp as they notice him ziplining from the rafters to the stage. Also sporting Man Utd speedos, he lands like a graceful swan, turns around and belts out a rendition of Oh Robin Van Persie.

The music is still blaring. "CEEEELEEBRAAATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!". At this point the press are swaying side to side and clapping.

"Time for signing number three. We have no need for him but we signed him anyway. IT'S GARRRAAAAAYYYYYYYY!".

More confetti. Garay, donning United speedos, backflips down the stage. It's the greatest thing some of these reporters have ever seen. He flexes at the mic and then joins Thiago and Strootman in dancing at the side of the stage. They form a guard of honor.

"Time for the piece de resistance, people. Meet the man who made this all possible. DAVVVIIIIIDDDD.....MOOOOOYYYYEEEESSSS!!"

fecktonnes of confetti rain down. Moyes is in a bitching suit. He struts down the runway like a don, reaches the mic and signals for the music to stop. Suddenly everyone notices the human shaped object right by the mic that has been there the whole time. It is draped in a red sheet.

Silence. Moyes stares at the press. One journalist cannot take his death stare and runs out of the room crying.

Moyes grabs the sheet, and pulls.

It's Cristiano Ronaldo.

BOOM. the music kicks back on. Confetti is absolutely everywhere. Moyes rips off his entire suit in one move to reveal United speedos. He's also wearing rollerskates, nobody noticed this. Ronaldo, also in United speedos, starts dancing. Moyes does the best move everyone has ever seen. He is joined by all his new signings as they strut around the stage.

"CEEEELLLLEEBRRAAATTE GOOOOOD TIIIMES, COME ON!"
 
It's not going to happen in 20 or so minutes. Ciders in for a big ban. But perhaps that was his plan all along so when it is announced three days later we can hail him as our false messiah.
 
The red curtain had been in front of the press since they entered the room. Voices whisper and mutter, echoing around the room with wonder. Today is the first day of David Moyes reign as Manchester United manager. It had been 15 minutes since the journalists were allowed in, when suddenly the lights dimmed.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the moment you have all been waiting for..."

Silence.

Celebration by Kool and the Gang starts to play. The curtain lifts. There is a runway.

The music kicks up a notch... the announcers voice comes back on.

"Introducing, our first new signing. All the way from Barcelona. THIIIAAAAAAGOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Boom! Confetti bursts from the runway, Thiago comes out. He's on rollerskates wearing Man Utd speedos. He screeches to a stop at the end of the platform and does a wink and point. He skates back to the side of the runway and dances on the spot.

"Coming up next, signing number two.... KEVIN STROOOOOOOOOTMAAAAAN"

Confetti launches from the stage again, but Strootman is nowhere to be seen. The reporters gasp as they notice him ziplining from the rafters to the stage. Also sporting Man Utd speedos, he lands like a graceful swan, turns around and belts out a rendition of Oh Robin Van Persie.

The music is still blaring. "CEEEELEEBRAAATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!". At this point the press are swaying side to side and clapping.

"Time for signing number three. We have no need for him but we signed him anyway. IT'S GARRRAAAAAYYYYYYYY!".

More confetti. Garay, donning United speedos, backflips down the stage. It's the greatest thing some of these reporters have ever seen. He flexes at the mic and then joins Thiago and Strootman in dancing at the side of the stage. They form a guard of honor.

"Time for the piece de resistance, people. Meet the man who made this all possible. DAVVVIIIIIDDDD.....MOOOOOYYYYEEEESSSS!!"

fecktonnes of confetti rain down. Moyes is in a bitching suit. He struts down the runway like a don, reaches the mic and signals for the music to stop. Suddenly everyone notices the human shaped object right by the mic that has been there the whole time. It is draped in a red sheet.

Silence. Moyes stares at the press. One journalist cannot take his death stare and runs out of the room crying.

Moyes grabs the sheet, and pulls.

It's Cristiano Ronaldo.

BOOM. the music kicks back on. Confetti is absolutely everywhere. Moyes rips off his entire suit in one move to reveal United speedos. He's also wearing rollerskates, nobody noticed this. Ronaldo, also in United speedos, starts dancing. Moyes does the best move everyone has ever seen. He is joined by all his new signings as they strut around the stage.

"CEEEELLLLEEBRRAAATTE GOOOOOD TIIIMES, COME ON!"

:lol:
 
BOOM. the music kicks back on. Confetti is absolutely everywhere. Moyes rips off his entire suit in one move to reveal United speedos. He's also wearing rollerskates, nobody noticed this. Ronaldo, also in United speedos, starts dancing. Moyes does the best move everyone has ever seen. He is joined by all his new signings as they strut around the stage.

"CEEEELLLLEEBRRAAATTE GOOOOOD TIIIMES, COME ON!"


Wtf?!? :lol:
 
The red curtain had been in front of the press since they entered the room. Voices whisper and mutter, echoing around the room with wonder. Today is the first day of David Moyes reign as Manchester United manager. It had been 15 minutes since the journalists were allowed in, when suddenly the lights dimmed.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the moment you have all been waiting for..."

Silence.

Celebration by Kool and the Gang starts to play. The curtain lifts. There is a runway.

The music kicks up a notch... the announcers voice comes back on.

"Introducing, our first new signing. All the way from Barcelona. THIIIAAAAAAGOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Boom! Confetti bursts from the runway, Thiago comes out. He's on rollerskates wearing Man Utd speedos. He screeches to a stop at the end of the platform and does a wink and point. He skates back to the side of the runway and dances on the spot.

"Coming up next, signing number two.... KEVIN STROOOOOOOOOTMAAAAAN"

Confetti launches from the stage again, but Strootman is nowhere to be seen. The reporters gasp as they notice him ziplining from the rafters to the stage. Also sporting Man Utd speedos, he lands like a graceful swan, turns around and belts out a rendition of Oh Robin Van Persie.

The music is still blaring. "CEEEELEEBRAAATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!". At this point the press are swaying side to side and clapping.

"Time for signing number three. We have no need for him but we signed him anyway. IT'S GARRRAAAAAYYYYYYYY!".

More confetti. Garay, donning United speedos, backflips down the stage. It's the greatest thing some of these reporters have ever seen. He flexes at the mic and then joins Thiago and Strootman in dancing at the side of the stage. They form a guard of honor.

"Time for the piece de resistance, people. Meet the man who made this all possible. DAVVVIIIIIDDDD.....MOOOOOYYYYEEEESSSS!!"

fecktonnes of confetti rain down. Moyes is in a bitching suit. He struts down the runway like a don, reaches the mic and signals for the music to stop. Suddenly everyone notices the human shaped object right by the mic that has been there the whole time. It is draped in a red sheet.

Silence. Moyes stares at the press. One journalist cannot take his death stare and runs out of the room crying.

Moyes grabs the sheet, and pulls.

It's Cristiano Ronaldo.

BOOM. the music kicks back on. Confetti is absolutely everywhere. Moyes rips off his entire suit in one move to reveal United speedos. He's also wearing rollerskates, nobody noticed this. Ronaldo, also in United speedos, starts dancing. Moyes does the best move everyone has ever seen. He is joined by all his new signings as they strut around the stage.

"CEEEELLLLEEBRRAAATTE GOOOOOD TIIIMES, COME ON!"

Seems legit, I'd be mildly disappointed if it didn't turn out exactly like this.
 
Solius you mental bastard... not only have you made me laugh, I'm now sat at my desk, bobbing my head and singing Kool and the sodding Gang...

If people didn't already think I'm mental...
 
I'm taking lunch now. Will sit here and eat/press command+r frenetically until about 11:08.

I'm also touching myself already. Have to be gentle with it though, or else I will jizz in my pants.
 
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