Gaming The RedCafe NBA Simulation 30/31 | Draft and Free Agency | People are starting to retire - the age of Caf is coming to an end | BasketballGM

25/26 Playoffs - 1st Round (Games 1-3) New
25/26 Playoffs - 1st Round (Games 1-3)

@Heine @P-Nut @weetee @V.O. @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @Solius @Skizzo @sebsheep @Stobzilla

With two Caf teams in the West and four in the East, I'm going to split this update into games instead of conferences. Sorry (not sorry) for all the cliff-hangers!

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34/9/15/6/6 from Heine, and that's that. Easy 1-0 for the ring-hungry Spurs.



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The Big Three of weeweetee, Lil' V.O. and Tyus Jones make short work of the Suns. Nothing else to say, is there?



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The Knicks holding the Wizards to only 81 points - at that point it hardly even matters that Two Nil went 1-7 for 5 points, or that reelworld II only got 11 points.



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If there's one thing I've learned from watching the Pacers in the playoffs the last few seasons, it's that Kevin Knox is a very valuable player. Put him next to a defensive giant like Sonius and they have at least a chance at beating anyone.



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6 points is closer than the reigning champions would have hoped for, perhaps, but a win is a win. Though Skizzlet probably isn't scoring a ridiculously efficient 38 every game, so hopefully other players can do their part next time. If they don't, SebJr and the Magic might have an actual part - and certainly if SebJr keeps scoring and assisting at that rate.



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Ideally Stobzilla II would have more points than rebounds, assists and, particularly, fouls. They didn't really give him the shots for that to happen, to be fair.

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The closest of margins, but the Warriors get one back!



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The Rockets aren't crushing the Suns, but a 16 point win is a 16 point win. This one might be over already.



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Easy win for New York, despite another relatively low-scoring showing from reelworld II. Two Nil with only 14 himself, but also 17 rebounds and 13 assists. The real hero is Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, with a very efficient 41 points.



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A pretty good game by Sonius, but it's not enough - it's 1-1!



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Atlanta holding Orlando to 64 points. SebJr with one to forget, going 0-12 from the field.



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Charlotte win - but Stobzilla II is knocked out of the tie altogether. The Hornets might come to regret the loss, methinks.

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A very close game indeed, but the Spurs take the narrow lead. Lil-Nut could have scored more (story of his career so far), but provided a fantastic 19 assists (with only 2 turnovers).



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First sweep coming up, surely?



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The bad news is that the Wizards won game 3. The worse news is that reelworld II will miss the rest of the tie, and at least 2-3 games in the next round. If they make it that far. Now Two Nil really needs to find his scoring.



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A stupid 12 blocks from Sonius, and clearly they needed every single one of them. Indiana regain the lead, but this tie is far from over.



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After getting trounced in game 2, Orlando do a much better job in game 3. The end result is still a win for the Hawks, but... it's something, isn't it? I reckon the Magic coach might have to answer some questions after that. For example: "why didn't you play SebJr more than 20 minutes, when he was the only player in the starting 5 with a positive +/-?"



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Easy win for the Celtics over the Stobzilla II-less Hornets.




Other games: The injury-stricken Memphis Grizzlies are in the process of getting swept by the Los Angles Clippers, and the inevitable Utah Jazz are in the process of sweeping the Los Angeles Lakers.

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Damn @nimic you make it sound like we‘re gonna lose this one 3-4.
 
6 3pts after 3 games is a joke :lol: If I could shoot we'd be doing alright.
 
25/26 Playoffs - 1st Round (Games 4-7) New
25/26 Playoffs - 1st Round (Games 4-7)

@Heine @P-Nut @weetee @V.O. @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @Solius @Skizzo @sebsheep @Stobzilla

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3-1! There just seems to be a clear quality difference here, and it's hard to overcome for the Warriors.



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A close game, but who cares as long as the end result is a sweep? It's a decent sign that the Rockets can win when everyone who isn't called weeweetee or Lil' V.O. can have awful games (at least in the starting 5), and when even those two only have good games themselves.



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Another good playoff triple double from Two Nil, but 19 points isn't going to be enough with reelworld II's injury. Shai Gilgeous-Alexander can make up for it, but if he doesn't then our man has to do it. If he doesn't... well, the Wizards have a chance, don't they?



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A great 28/23/6 from Sonius, and it looks likely that we're going to get the upset. Not that a 5-seed beating a 4-seed is much of an upset, and I favoured the Pacers to begin with in any case. Sonius has that playoff experience.



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The Magic get one back! SebJr and his teammates weren't going to accept getting swept, it seems. Our man had a good game, though again he's playing less than he maybe should, and shooting less than he maybe could. But if the result is a win... fine, I guess?



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Stobzilla II's teammates take this one back to square one!



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Well, it wasn't a sweep, but the Spurs take the series. A pretty monstrous performance by Heine, but we also finally saw what Lil-Nut is capable of. The series win was probably never on the cards, if we're being honest.



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Speaking of monstrous performances: here's the Two Nil we need with reelworld II out injured! 29/18/16 is just a nice-looking stat line, isn't it?



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The Pacers win, as expected. It was a very low-scoring game. Sonius had a good game, but picked up 5 early fouls and so ended up only playing 28 minutes. Probably for the best, since we've seen some Cafites have playoff runs ruined by injuries.



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And the Hawks are through as well. There were many good performances on the Hawks, including Skizzlet himself. I don't know if they're favourites to repeat their championship run from last year, but if nothing else it's clear that they're still a very deep and capable team. SebJr might not be happy about the result, but I never thought the Magic had a real chance.



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And the Hornets are in the lead!



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The very closest of margins, but the reelworld II-less New York Knicks manage to despatch the Washington Wizards. Two Nil gave his all, as you can tell by both the ridiculous 34/24/8 stat line and the fact that he fouled out and still managed to play the most of anyone on the team.



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So close, but Boston take it to 3-3. We're at least getting one game 7 this round!



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Heartbreak for Stobzilla II and the Charlotte Hornets. Though the Celtics were the very clear favourites going into the first round, and doubly so after Stobzilla II went out injured. It seems like old man Anthony Davis still has some tricks up his sleeves.



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Exactly the same Cafites in the 2nd Round as last year. The only difference is that the Knicks and the Hawks swapped positions this time. By both regular season record and MOV (margin of victory), the East has the three best teams remaining in the playoffs - and it would be all 4 if Indiana hadn't eliminated Chicago already.
 
5 assists in the last game. Feel like I let the lads down.
 
25/26 Playoffs - 2nd Round (Games 1-3) New
25/26 Playoffs - 2nd Round (Games 1-3)

@Heine @weetee @V.O. @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @Skizzo @Solius

I'm cutting this one in two as well, because I'm such a drama queen.

All the Cafites still in this have already won at least one ring, except for Two Nil and reelworld II. They're probably favourites here, together with Skizzlet, but we've seen how that's gone in the past.

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A close game, but the Clippers take the lead! That's not what I expected - at all. Heine has a very good game, but it wasn't quite enough to overcome a much more broadly solid Clippers.



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I did not have "the reigning champions lose by 30 points in the 2nd Round". It's not like Boston had any stand-out performances either, it's just that the Atlanta ones were even worse. Significantly worse, to be fair.



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The Knicks take the lead! This is exactly the sort of series Two Nil and reelworld II have lost in the past, and by that I mean they literally lost this exact series two years ago. New year, new me? reelworld II is still out with patellar tendinitis, but he should be back in a game or two.



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Big and expected win from the Rockets. As always it's Lil' V.O., weeweetee and Tyus Jones doing the heavy lifting, though Kirk Snyder (surely the best name in the league) and Jay Scrubb (maybe the worst name in the league) contribute as well.

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The Spurs take game 2, and by the slimmest possible margins!



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Anthony Davis with the monster performance to put the Celtics 2-0 up over the reigning champions. Skizzlet with a 23/23/1, but it wasn't enough. This one went to OT, though, so the Hawks are definitely not giving up quite yet.


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Sonius could have scored 63 points in this one, and the Pacers would still have lost. Five different 11+ point scorers on the Knicks, and all starters scored at least 16. What to do against that?



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Another easy win for Houston. weeweetee and Lil' V.O. are both staying sharp, importantly. RJ Barrett is trying his darndest to make this interesting.

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After a close game 2, game 3 is another big win for the Clippers over the Spurs. Winning comfortably when your nominal star goes 3-17 from the field is... comfortable. Not if your name is Heine, perhaps, but he's been here before. This one is far from over.



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The champions get a game back! This is more like the Hawks of last year, with almost everyone contributing. They'll need to string a few wins together now, before Okogie and Williams are back and healthy.



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Is this the sweep of the series, then? The return of reelworld II doesn't seem to have changed things much, certainly in favour of Sonius and Indiana. The refs don't seem to be in Sonius' favour either, fouling him out after only 21 minutes played. With 23 points in that time, it makes you wonder what he could have done. Could have, would have, should have.



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Just a casual 42/5/7 from weeweetee, and an equally casual 20/18/9 from Lil' V.O.. This time the Jazz had many contributors, but they still couldn't get within single digits of the Rockets. I'm betting this will be another sweep, in which case it would be the first time the current iteration of Houston have swept both the 1st and 2nd Rounds. Not even at their supposed height did they ever manage that.

Be a shame if they were reverse swept after I made that point, wouldn't it?



After game 3:

San Antonio Spurs 1-2 Los Angeles Clippers
Houston Rockets 3-0 Utah Jazz
New York Knicks 3-0 Indiana Pacers
Boston Celtics 2-1 Atlanta Hawks
 
25/26 Playoffs - 2nd Round (Games 4-7) New
25/26 Playoffs - 2nd Round (Games 4-7)

@Heine @weetee @V.O. @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @Skizzo @Solius

After game 3:

San Antonio Spurs 1-2 Los Angeles Clippers
Houston Rockets 3-0 Utah Jazz
New York Knicks 3-0 Indiana Pacers
Boston Celtics 2-1 Atlanta Hawks

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Another close game, and again the Clippers come out on top! A fantastic game by Heine, but again it's not enough.



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Closer than the other games, but the first sweep is in! As expected, to be honest. Lil' V.O. decided that he's seen enough scoring from weeweetee; he wanted to see what all the fuss is about. They both also decided to see what all the fuss was about when it comes to fouling out. Evidently.



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And there's our second sweep. Also as expected, at this point. This one was close enough that Sonius might be wondering what could have been if he been in his usual scoring mood. Still, "what could have been" would in all likelihood have been 1-4 instead of 0-4. Two Nil and reelworld II seem to have participated in the "multiple of 8 challenge", and Two Nil came out on top (actually, I think Deandre Ayton might have won).



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That's more like the champions I know! Double digits from all starters, and a smashing victory over the Celtics.

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Coby White proving that you don't need a K or an E to spell Kobe. The Spurs are in trouble.



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Another solid Atlanta win, and suddenly they have the series lead. Skizzlet had an okay game, but clearly more wasn't required of him this time.

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Heine and the Spurs are not giving up!



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Only 4 points in it, and we're going to game 7!

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The Clippers have taken down the heavy favourites! The Spurs can't point to injuries either; if anything, the Clippers were the team plagued by them. Heine can plausibly point to his teammates, though. Then again, if you're going to be the superstar, you've got to accept responsibility for anything and everything.



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Boston wins it! I can't really call it an upset - the Celtics were the higher seed - but I really thought we'd see Atlanta in the NBA Final again this year. The Celtics outplayed them, and that's with them having the injury problems in the series. Are they an actual championship contender, I wonder?



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Well! The last time the West had a Conference Final with both teams below 50 wins was in 1981. The Kings and the Rockets were both 40-42 that year, which makes me wonder what the feck the rest of the conference was doing. The Rockets won the tie, but would go on to lose to the Celtics in the Final. Wait a minute...
 
@V.O. are you enjoying this as much as I do?
Too busy seething about United to be honest. :mad:

But yeah, walking through the playoffs undefeated and playing someone other than the fecking Spurs in the conference finals is pretty sweet!
 
25/26 Playoffs - Conference Finals New
25/26 Playoffs - Conference Finals

@weetee @V.O. @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld

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Preview

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Easy win for the Knicks! reelworld II with a great playoff performance.



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The Rockets really spreading the points out equitably here. A game to forget for weeweetee, but the win probably makes it easier to forget.

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Not such an easy win as game 1, but the Knicks take the 2-0 lead after a monster game by Two Nil: 37/21/8! They're taking turns, it seems.



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Also a close game, but also a win for the favourites. Jay Scrubb with +27 in a 4 point game - maybe play him more?

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The three New York stars all do their job, and this one looks over!



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The Houston Rockets have won by 9, 4 and now 3 points. A 3-0 lead is a 3-0 lead, but they should make sure they don't fade here. It doesn't hurt that weeweetee and Lil' V.O. are so good both offensively and defensively, though; this time they got 6 steals and 8 blocks respectively.

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The sweep has been called off! Two very good team performances, honestly, it's just that the Boston one was ever so slightly better than the New York one. Two Nil with the 31/16/15 triple double (and also the 6 fouls).



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No sweep for you!
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It looked like the Clippers were getting closer and closer to a win, but I don't think I expected them to win by 30.

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Not a massive win, but a win is a win! And particularly when that win gets you straight to the NBA Final for the first time since you lost three of them in a row to the Spurs. But whoever they face this time, it won't be the Spurs.



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Only 2 points in it, but the Clippers force another game! weeweetee with 27 points in 29 minutes, which makes me think maybe he shouldn't have fouled out after 29 minutes.

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Oh my, it's 3-3! And it wasn't even close!

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The Clippers have only gone and reverse swept the Rockets, who had swept their way to the Conference Finals! I actually can't believe it. They've now beaten the 4th seed, 1st seed and then 2nd seed. What's another 1-seed? The East is on paper significantly stronger than the West, though, and the Knicks have rolled their way through that Conference.

This should be good.



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Nah, actually feck off. Can't we just play the Spurs again?
 
Never liked the Clippers to be honest.
 
Never liked the Clippers to be honest.
What is a clipper anyway? A boat? What does that have to do with LA?

Easily like the second dumbest LA NBA team name.
 
What is a clipper anyway? A boat? What does that have to do with LA?

Easily like the second dumbest LA NBA team name.

They were originally from San Diego which had a community around sailing and sailboats.

Just like the Lakers come from Minnesota the "land of a thousand lakes".
 
Just pick a new name. This feels almost obscene.

They probably should have when they moved but its too late now because they've won titles under the new name so its embedded in the culture at this point. Well for the Lakers at least, no one cares about the Clippers.

Also fun fact, the baseball team the Dodgers have that name because they were from Brooklyn and named after the trolley car dodging that was common 100 years ago there.
 
25/26 NBA Final New
25/26 NBA Final

@Stobzilla @sebsheep @reelworld @oneniltothearsenal @hobbers @V.O. @Dan @Solius @weetee @Heine @BenitoSTARR @Skizzo @P-Nut

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Preview

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Teams

New York Knicks:

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Los Angeles Clippers:

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Last 5 Meetings

New York Knicks
142 - 120 Los Angeles Clippers
New York Knicks 125 - 119 Los Angeles Clippers
New York Knicks 126 - 115 Los Angeles Clippers
New York Knicks 132 - 126 Los Angeles Clippers
New York Knicks 123 - 121 Los Angeles Clippers

Last 10 Seasons

New York Knicks:

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Los Angeles Clippers:

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NBA Final

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And we're off! The Knicks with a solid game 1 win. Two Nil and reelworld II taking charge to finally win their ring.

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Solid win by Los Angeles this time! Two Nil with the 15/20/10 triple double, but it's not one of his better triple double performances (and he's got a lot of them). reelworld II has even more reason to be disappointed in his own performance.

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The Clippers dropping 141 points on the favourites to take the series lead! It's not the worst playoff performance Two Nil has ever had... but it's the third worst playoff performance Two Nil has ever had.

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Two Nil with a very good playoff game, and the three New York stars dropping 20+ points each. Unfortunately the Clippers stars do the same, with no dead weight (I'm looking at you Deandre Ayton, with turnovers as the highest counting stat, and fouls the second highest). We're just one game away from a huge upset here.

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The Knicks aren't about to go down quite that easily. Superstar performances by both reelworld II and Two Nil, which is apparently what they need here.

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Basketball, bloody hell. The Los Angeles Clippers have beaten the prohibitive favourites, the New York Knicks, and in the process take their third Caf contender scalp. Memphis was devastated by injuries, but beating the Spurs, the Rockets and the Knicks in quick succession is one hell of a playoff championship run - for the first championship in team history!

And they did it all as a 45-win team, the lowest since Washington in 1978. Before that you have to go back to the shorter seasons to find an equivalent. Impressive!


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Playoff stats

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Playoff leaders

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Incredible choke job. One of the worst in history. Wouldnt see daddy devil doing that.
 
25/26 Season Review New
25/26 Season Review

@BenitoSTARR @Dan @Dr. Dwayne @P-Nut @Salt Bailly @Skizzo @Solius @Stobzilla @The Cat @V.O. @altodevil @hobbers @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @sebsheep @weetee @Heine

What a playoff run by the Los Angeles Clippers!

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Regular Season

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Awards

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More and more non-Cafites in the All-League and All-Defensive Teams. You're about to be squeezed out by the new generation! This experiment will go on until the last Cafite has retired.

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Combined stats

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Feats

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League news

If anyone else wants to tear up their contract, let me know. We might loosen up the rules a bit, since you're all getting old and close to the cold embrace of the grave retirement anyway.

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Draft Preview

Memphis could plausibly have had Wembanyama, Michael Jordan and LeBron James on their team if they had gotten a bit more lucky. Also Josh Giddey, who is a superstar in our Caf reality.

Phoenix and Philadelphia, though... phew.

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Expected top 15:

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Full Experiment History

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Spurs are declining :(

I am not getting younger, it is time for the 2 time DPOY and MVP to test the market, please break up my contract (