Only when you retire. You'll definitely make it, I reckon.
Yep. In the entire league, actually. You just don't shoot very often, so you're not getting that many points.
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- Thread starter nimic
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Only when you retire. You'll definitely make it, I reckon.
Yep. In the entire league, actually. You just don't shoot very often, so you're not getting that many points.
On retirement presumably.
When I retire the HoF will be renamed 'altodevil and friends'
I'm looking forward to creating my son, but I'll wait for a natural retirement I think. @nimic how are the career steals, blocks, rebounds leaders shaping up? Am I leading those yet? What about career playoff wins?
You are 271 rebounds behind Wilt. You and hobbers passed Stockton in steals ages ago, you're clear #1, same with blocks (except with BenitoSTARR instead of hobbers).
Solius has attempted 1500 more three-pointers than anyone else in NBA history.
I'll do some stats before I start the actual season, if I don't forget.
Excellent
What a clown
Renamed just altodevil then.
It may soon be time for Pepper Bailly to enter the fray,
Shoot for the moon (backboard) and if you miss you'll land in the stars (net? i dunno)
Class
Oh shit I might die soon
okay lets do that!
gone to a rebuilding team againBoston winning one or two kinda suits me, hobbers would still be too far behind to be a GOAT contender, and it further stops Durant (my only real rival).
Fingers crossed. Also, I hope something bad happens to your NBA guy.
12/13 Season Preview - East
12/13 Season Preview East
I committed to including all the players with at least 50 rating in your teams, which I later came to regret. Get your shit together Atlanta.
@BenitoSTARR and @Stobzilla - New York Knicks (46-36, 1st Round)
BenitoSTARR has now spent more years in New York than all the other 50+ rating players combined. It's been up and down, though they came awfully close to beating Kevin Durant's Wizards last year. This year BenitoSTARR has taken a large step back in physicality, but Stobzilla II has possibly made up for it in improvement. At team full of 60+ players plus one 70+ player is enough to win the NBA, but the conference is ever so stacked though.
@reelworld - Milwaukee Bucks (46-36, 1st Round)
reelworld II also saw some heavy improvement, and he's pretty much now ready to lead the Bucks into the future. They had a pretty good season last year, so reelworld will hope that his leap can help propel Milwaukee at least back to the playoffs.
@sebsheep - Miami Heat (33-49)
SebJr hasn't had that one off-season of great improvement yet, but he's still only 22. He's also playing regularly for Miami, though he's not likely to see any playoff action with them quite yet. They're a pretty young team, so that could easily change from one season to the next.
@V.O. - Brooklyn Nets (56-26, NBA Champions)
That massive injury V.O. suffered last season has continued to take a toll on him, and particularly on his physical abilities. His technical abilities are still quite strong, though, and he's lucky enough to be on a team with a very strong set of players. He's probably in the perfect team to be the assist machine he's been all his career.
@hobbers & @Skizzo - Boston Celtics (58-24, 2nd Round)
Okay, this is a very strong team now. Boston has basically everything. They've got two superstars in hobbers and Yi, a very strong starting 5 and loads of depth. Among that depth we now find Skizzo, who actually saw some improvement since last season.
@Samid - Charlotte Bobcats (26-56)
Samid continues to decline, but his shooting stats mean he'll probably be the only 50-rating player in NBA history to average 15+ points per game. He seems to have settled down in his old age, as 4 years is by far the longest he's ever spent at a team. It's not a good team, but the Bobcats might just take a scalp here and there.
@Salt Bailly - Toronto Raptors (28-54)
We've got a very dependable player, Salt Bailly, on a very dependable team, the Toronto Raptors. The season before last they had a great run to make the playoffs, but then failed to follow it up last season. This season they're not looking too bad. The only thing holding them back might be the fact that there are so many good teams in the East.
@weetee - Atlanta Hawks (55-27, 1st Round)
I've never really understood why weetee doesn't shoot more. It made sense when he played with Solius, who brought all possible shooting chances into his orbit like some kind of attention black hole, but it's not like he's played with superstars since then. He's got good shooting, good offensive IQ, good dribbling, and yet he's been more of an assister than a scorer.
@The Cat - Detroit Pistons (32-50)
Finally, we've got The Cub, another youngster who looks set for greatness. He's already significantly better than his dad, The Cat, was. Though as several of our Cafites have found out, you can be as personally skilled as you want, but that doesn't mean you'll win anything. The Cat won quite a lot. Will his son be able to match that? Probably not this season, but this is the last year of his contract. Let's see what he can do.
I committed to including all the players with at least 50 rating in your teams, which I later came to regret. Get your shit together Atlanta.
@BenitoSTARR and @Stobzilla - New York Knicks (46-36, 1st Round)
BenitoSTARR has now spent more years in New York than all the other 50+ rating players combined. It's been up and down, though they came awfully close to beating Kevin Durant's Wizards last year. This year BenitoSTARR has taken a large step back in physicality, but Stobzilla II has possibly made up for it in improvement. At team full of 60+ players plus one 70+ player is enough to win the NBA, but the conference is ever so stacked though.
@reelworld - Milwaukee Bucks (46-36, 1st Round)
reelworld II also saw some heavy improvement, and he's pretty much now ready to lead the Bucks into the future. They had a pretty good season last year, so reelworld will hope that his leap can help propel Milwaukee at least back to the playoffs.
@sebsheep - Miami Heat (33-49)
SebJr hasn't had that one off-season of great improvement yet, but he's still only 22. He's also playing regularly for Miami, though he's not likely to see any playoff action with them quite yet. They're a pretty young team, so that could easily change from one season to the next.
@V.O. - Brooklyn Nets (56-26, NBA Champions)
That massive injury V.O. suffered last season has continued to take a toll on him, and particularly on his physical abilities. His technical abilities are still quite strong, though, and he's lucky enough to be on a team with a very strong set of players. He's probably in the perfect team to be the assist machine he's been all his career.
@hobbers & @Skizzo - Boston Celtics (58-24, 2nd Round)
Okay, this is a very strong team now. Boston has basically everything. They've got two superstars in hobbers and Yi, a very strong starting 5 and loads of depth. Among that depth we now find Skizzo, who actually saw some improvement since last season.
@Samid - Charlotte Bobcats (26-56)
Samid continues to decline, but his shooting stats mean he'll probably be the only 50-rating player in NBA history to average 15+ points per game. He seems to have settled down in his old age, as 4 years is by far the longest he's ever spent at a team. It's not a good team, but the Bobcats might just take a scalp here and there.
@Salt Bailly - Toronto Raptors (28-54)
We've got a very dependable player, Salt Bailly, on a very dependable team, the Toronto Raptors. The season before last they had a great run to make the playoffs, but then failed to follow it up last season. This season they're not looking too bad. The only thing holding them back might be the fact that there are so many good teams in the East.
@weetee - Atlanta Hawks (55-27, 1st Round)
I've never really understood why weetee doesn't shoot more. It made sense when he played with Solius, who brought all possible shooting chances into his orbit like some kind of attention black hole, but it's not like he's played with superstars since then. He's got good shooting, good offensive IQ, good dribbling, and yet he's been more of an assister than a scorer.
@The Cat - Detroit Pistons (32-50)
Finally, we've got The Cub, another youngster who looks set for greatness. He's already significantly better than his dad, The Cat, was. Though as several of our Cafites have found out, you can be as personally skilled as you want, but that doesn't mean you'll win anything. The Cat won quite a lot. Will his son be able to match that? Probably not this season, but this is the last year of his contract. Let's see what he can do.
I think getting traded away from prime Sonics really broke confidence. Or I really like to pass.
nice dig at lebron there too
12/13 Season Preview - West
12/13 Season Preview West
This should be quick, everyone else is in the East!
@altodevil - Los Angeles Lakers (62-20, Runners-up)
Nene and Hinrich are getting worse, which is a problem for altodevil if he has ambitions of winning another ring. He got better himself, but it's not like he's going to be scoring the points. Of course, I've said this a few times now and they still end up on top in the West, so let's just shut up and see, shall we?
@P-Nut - Sacramento Kings (25-57)
P-Nut lost his friend (?) and mentor (??) when oneniltothearsenal retired. It seems quite early for him to be declining, but we've seen players well into their 30s suddenly improving again, so let's not give up on him yet. He's almost been MVP three times (finishing 2nd in voting), so it would be a shame to see his career end with a whimper.
@oneniltothearsenal - Oklahoma City Thunder (27-55)
Two Nil is a funny fella. I had to go back and check that oneniltothearsenal actually wanted him to have 1 speed, but he did. I have no idea how this player build is going to do. I doubt he'll get to play much Center though, given half of his teammates are pure Centers. No forwards, though, so that's good. His old man oneniltothearsenal was a Triple Double machine in his day, though he never got close to winning a ring. Let's see how Two Nil fares.
@Solius - Memphis Grizzlies (33-49)
I mentioned that old men can sometimes still get better, and here's the old man himself. Solius is not quite as quick or springy as he once was, but he can shoot as well as he ever did. It's been a while since his teams were very good, but I wouldn't be surprised if the Grizzlies do decently this season.
@Dr. Dwayne - Golden State Warriors (38-44, 1st Round)
Dr. Dwayne must have fallen down some stairs over the summer and broken a hip, judging by the large number of red in that picture. He's still got a chance of making the playoffs, though, as the Warriors have a lot of pretty good players.
Also I forgot @Dan in the last update.
I wish I didn't make that "breaking a hip" joke with Dr. Dwayne, because... well, Dan. What can you expect? He's in his 18th year in the NBA.
This should be quick, everyone else is in the East!
@altodevil - Los Angeles Lakers (62-20, Runners-up)
Nene and Hinrich are getting worse, which is a problem for altodevil if he has ambitions of winning another ring. He got better himself, but it's not like he's going to be scoring the points. Of course, I've said this a few times now and they still end up on top in the West, so let's just shut up and see, shall we?
@P-Nut - Sacramento Kings (25-57)
P-Nut lost his friend (?) and mentor (??) when oneniltothearsenal retired. It seems quite early for him to be declining, but we've seen players well into their 30s suddenly improving again, so let's not give up on him yet. He's almost been MVP three times (finishing 2nd in voting), so it would be a shame to see his career end with a whimper.
@oneniltothearsenal - Oklahoma City Thunder (27-55)
Two Nil is a funny fella. I had to go back and check that oneniltothearsenal actually wanted him to have 1 speed, but he did. I have no idea how this player build is going to do. I doubt he'll get to play much Center though, given half of his teammates are pure Centers. No forwards, though, so that's good. His old man oneniltothearsenal was a Triple Double machine in his day, though he never got close to winning a ring. Let's see how Two Nil fares.
@Solius - Memphis Grizzlies (33-49)
I mentioned that old men can sometimes still get better, and here's the old man himself. Solius is not quite as quick or springy as he once was, but he can shoot as well as he ever did. It's been a while since his teams were very good, but I wouldn't be surprised if the Grizzlies do decently this season.
@Dr. Dwayne - Golden State Warriors (38-44, 1st Round)
Dr. Dwayne must have fallen down some stairs over the summer and broken a hip, judging by the large number of red in that picture. He's still got a chance of making the playoffs, though, as the Warriors have a lot of pretty good players.
Also I forgot @Dan in the last update.
I wish I didn't make that "breaking a hip" joke with Dr. Dwayne, because... well, Dan. What can you expect? He's in his 18th year in the NBA.
No chance with the squad but glad the band is still together
Already furious with our win % and MOV
12/13 25-Game Update
12/13 25-Game Update (ish)
(@BenitoSTARR @Dan @Dr. Dwayne @P-Nut @Salt Bailly @Samid @Skizzo @Solius @Stobzilla @The Cat @V.O. @altodevil @hobbers @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @sebsheep @weetee)
Trades
The Cub (Pistons), Dan (Pistons > Thunder), Two Nil (Thunder)
P-Nut (Kings) - nooo, not D.J. Strawberry!
P-Nut (Kings), weetee (Hawks)
Looks good for altodevil's Lakers, though not they aren't quite the superpower they have been. Dr. Dwayne is fighting for playoffs again. 4th looks good, but that's only two wins ahead of 10th, and one win ahead of Solius and the Grizzlies in 7th. Even P-Nut in Sacramento and Dan and Two Nil in Oklahoma aren't completely out of it yet, given the relative weakness of the middle of the conference.
As expected, it's a bloodbath! Realistically you've got three clear contenders in Boston (hobbers & Skizzo), Washington and New York (BenitoSTARR and Stobzilla II), but then V.O. finished 4th last time and still beat everyone in the playoffs. weetee and Atlanta are proving that last season wasn't just a one- off, and Salt Bailly, SebJr and The Cub are all in the playoff spots with Toronto, Miami and Detroit respectively. reelworld II is a bit behind with the Bucks, and though he's perhaps got the ability to push them up the table, it's going to be difficult in such a strong conference. Samid is enjoying the Charlotte weather, waiting for the 3 Point Contest.
(@BenitoSTARR @Dan @Dr. Dwayne @P-Nut @Salt Bailly @Samid @Skizzo @Solius @Stobzilla @The Cat @V.O. @altodevil @hobbers @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @sebsheep @weetee)
Trades
The Cub (Pistons), Dan (Pistons > Thunder), Two Nil (Thunder)
P-Nut (Kings) - nooo, not D.J. Strawberry!
P-Nut (Kings), weetee (Hawks)
Looks good for altodevil's Lakers, though not they aren't quite the superpower they have been. Dr. Dwayne is fighting for playoffs again. 4th looks good, but that's only two wins ahead of 10th, and one win ahead of Solius and the Grizzlies in 7th. Even P-Nut in Sacramento and Dan and Two Nil in Oklahoma aren't completely out of it yet, given the relative weakness of the middle of the conference.
As expected, it's a bloodbath! Realistically you've got three clear contenders in Boston (hobbers & Skizzo), Washington and New York (BenitoSTARR and Stobzilla II), but then V.O. finished 4th last time and still beat everyone in the playoffs. weetee and Atlanta are proving that last season wasn't just a one- off, and Salt Bailly, SebJr and The Cub are all in the playoff spots with Toronto, Miami and Detroit respectively. reelworld II is a bit behind with the Bucks, and though he's perhaps got the ability to push them up the table, it's going to be difficult in such a strong conference. Samid is enjoying the Charlotte weather, waiting for the 3 Point Contest.
Is this finally the year of hobbers (and skizzo)? Staying tuned.
hobbers will walk the title with that team. No excuses now.
Top half again. It’s been years.
When you think about it, it kinda is a shitty system: how many times played hobbers vs alto in their careers? Can count that on one hand I guess. Not counting all-star games.
It's a dogshit system.
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They'll still play each other a couple (because they are in different Conferences) of times every season, but never in the playoffs. I don't quite know how the NBA schedules matches, because sometimes teams play each other 3 times, while other times 4. There are also Divisions, which I can't tell what actually do.
12/13 All Star Weekend
12/13 All Star Weekend
(@BenitoSTARR @Dan @Dr. Dwayne @P-Nut @Salt Bailly @Samid @Skizzo @Solius @Stobzilla @The Cat @V.O. @altodevil @hobbers @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @sebsheep @weetee)
Trades
Samid (Bobcats)
Salt Bailly (Raptors) - oof
Conference Standings
Slam Dunk Contest
3 Point Contest
Lots of familiar faces here! Samid should be encouraged by seeing Kyle Korver still in it, proving that overall rating doesn't matter at all for getting an invitation.
1st Round - 4 advance
Ben Gordon: 19
Kyle Korver: 24
Kevin Durant: 22
21 is probably not enough for Samid.
BenitoSTARR has eliminated Samid with his 24!
Solius is through.
reelworld II is through as well. We'll have a tiebreak between 5x winner BenitoSTARR and 3x winner Kyle Korver.
Tiebreak
Kyle Korver: 22
Our man makes it! He will join reelworld II, Solius and V.O. in the 2nd round.
2nd Round - 2 advance
V.O. with 27 means Solius needs the remaining two to shoot 26 or less.
reelworld II with the 28, he's through! That means we've lost Solius. BenitoSTARR needs at least 27.
We're going to get another 3 Point Contest champion for the first time in many years. But will it be the old man or the kid?
Final Round
25 is good, but is it good enough? V.O. already shot 26 and 27 so far in the competition.
reelworld II has done it!
All Star Teams
BenitoSTARR and hobbers make their 14th and 13th all star team, but we've got a lot of debuts this year, including two Cafites: reelworld II and Stobzilla II. The Cub is in for the 2nd time.
In the West we've only got old Cafites: Solius, altodevil and Dr. Dwayne. P-Nut misses due to injury.
(@BenitoSTARR @Dan @Dr. Dwayne @P-Nut @Salt Bailly @Samid @Skizzo @Solius @Stobzilla @The Cat @V.O. @altodevil @hobbers @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @sebsheep @weetee)
Trades
Samid (Bobcats)
Salt Bailly (Raptors) - oof
Conference Standings
Slam Dunk Contest
3 Point Contest
Lots of familiar faces here! Samid should be encouraged by seeing Kyle Korver still in it, proving that overall rating doesn't matter at all for getting an invitation.
1st Round - 4 advance
Ben Gordon: 19
Kyle Korver: 24
Kevin Durant: 22
21 is probably not enough for Samid.
BenitoSTARR has eliminated Samid with his 24!
Solius is through.
reelworld II is through as well. We'll have a tiebreak between 5x winner BenitoSTARR and 3x winner Kyle Korver.
Tiebreak
Kyle Korver: 22
Our man makes it! He will join reelworld II, Solius and V.O. in the 2nd round.
2nd Round - 2 advance
V.O. with 27 means Solius needs the remaining two to shoot 26 or less.
reelworld II with the 28, he's through! That means we've lost Solius. BenitoSTARR needs at least 27.
We're going to get another 3 Point Contest champion for the first time in many years. But will it be the old man or the kid?
Final Round
25 is good, but is it good enough? V.O. already shot 26 and 27 so far in the competition.
reelworld II has done it!
All Star Teams
BenitoSTARR and hobbers make their 14th and 13th all star team, but we've got a lot of debuts this year, including two Cafites: reelworld II and Stobzilla II. The Cub is in for the 2nd time.
In the West we've only got old Cafites: Solius, altodevil and Dr. Dwayne. P-Nut misses due to injury.
The East continues to dominate. Solius wins his 4th All Star MVP.
Tagged in the all star weekend post 
Find out it's just so I can see my team has dropped off
Find out it's just so I can see my team has dropped off
My only remaining crown.. lost to a child.
12/13 End of Regular Season and Playoff Bracket
12/13 End of Regular Season and Playoff Bracket
(@BenitoSTARR @Dan @Dr. Dwayne @P-Nut @Salt Bailly @Samid @Skizzo @Solius @Stobzilla @The Cat @V.O. @altodevil @hobbers @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @sebsheep @weetee)
Final conference standings
We've got Cafites in every possible situation in the East.
altodevil is not #1 seed for the first time since Solius and weetee won with the Seattle Supersonics in 2004. Solius has a pretty good end to the season with the Grizzlies, so maybe he's got an unexpected late title shot? We were so close to some more Cafites in the playoffs from the West, with both Dr. Dwayne and P-Nut barely missing out with the Warriors and Kings respectively. Dan and Two Nil did not have a great season with the Thunder.
Playoff bracket
League Leaders (regular season)
(@BenitoSTARR @Dan @Dr. Dwayne @P-Nut @Salt Bailly @Samid @Skizzo @Solius @Stobzilla @The Cat @V.O. @altodevil @hobbers @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @sebsheep @weetee)
Final conference standings
We've got Cafites in every possible situation in the East.
- Best and worst teams in the Conference? hobbers and Skizzo on the dominating Celtics, and Samid on the dominated Bobcats.
- Good teams with a chance at a playoff run? V.O.'s Nets definitely have another chance, and BenitoSTARR and Stobzilla II are stronger than in a bit with the Knicks.
- Young players on bad teams? Check! SebJr on the Heat and The Cub on the Pistons both have brighter futures ahead of them.
- A team that made a late run for the playoff spots, but couldn't quite make it? reelworld II and the Bucks weren't far off.
- A team that made a late run to miss the playoffs, but couldn't quite not make it? weetee and the Hawks are most certainly not prepared to face the Celtics.
- And then there's Toronto, with the steady presence of Salt Bailly ending the season with an even 12-12.
altodevil is not #1 seed for the first time since Solius and weetee won with the Seattle Supersonics in 2004. Solius has a pretty good end to the season with the Grizzlies, so maybe he's got an unexpected late title shot? We were so close to some more Cafites in the playoffs from the West, with both Dr. Dwayne and P-Nut barely missing out with the Warriors and Kings respectively. Dan and Two Nil did not have a great season with the Thunder.
Playoff bracket
League Leaders (regular season)
When am I leaving these wasters?
Wait how many years in a row did I take my team to the #1 seed?
make the playoffs, get swept away
hooray
hooray
Godammit.
Let's both join the same team.
8.
In a couple of seasons, barring a trade.
You've got a few good, young teammates though, so it wouldn't shock me if you were suddenly good next year.