Film The Redcafe Movie review thread

Pirates of the Caribbean DMTNT - Shite of 10

Horrible movie...story was shite and the two replacements for Knightley and the other tosser just didn't work....I haven't seen the previous fioms all the way through with the exception of the first...just bits and pieces but found them much more enjoyable.
 
I absolutely hated Life. Most predictable movie I've seen in a while.
Yah both the ending is predictable and also what happens when you bring an alien life form onto a spaceship, but I still enjoyed it. More like Alien than the current Alien prequels.
 
Just watched Z for Zachariah and quite enjoyed it. Didn't hear any buzz about this when it was originally released. Exactly what you'd expect to happen with two dudes fighting over Margot Robbie :drool: in an apocalyptic setting.
In a minor twist, surprising to see the black dude kill Chris Pine. Everything up until that point, led me to think that it'd be the other way around or at least Chris Pine's character would be the first to try.
 
Wonder Woman

I'm so glad I watched this at the Showcase Cinemas tonight as their auditorium are so much better than Cineworld and Odeon. I know this has received lukewarm reviews so far (which super hero movie does not have plot holes, irrelevant characters, sloppy dialogue etc., etc.), but for me this is the best super hero movie to date. Gal Gadot is absolutely perfectly cast as the titular heroine with oodles of screen presence, class and some kick-ass moves. The beginning part in her homeland was beautifully shot. Yeah I agree with the comments about some of the characters in this movie but Gadot alone is worth the admission fee. Action sequences are great, but could've done with more. Still, a great movie nonetheless. I think DC are upping the ante against Marvel.

I'm giving this a 9/10.
 
Baywatch
Forced to watch this by the missus. Had some sexy women for the lads and the rock and zac effron for the girls. That's all there is to it really. Forgettable movie but does what it sets out to do... Give people boners 5/10

Fist Fight

Ice cube wants to fight fellow teacher Charlie Day after the latter gets him fired from his job. Some funny moments but ultimately not very memorable. I'm struggling to think of any stand out scenes, and I only watched it a few hours ago 4/10
 
John Wick 2 is even sillier than the first film but just as much fun. Nice gun fu action, witty comic book villainy , amusing use of Classical motifs and Lovejoy. I reckon they could have pushed it even further though.

My only gripe is that I didn't realise that the film was mainly about setting up a third film. But hey I'm on board for another.
 
Pirates of the Caribbean DMTNT - Shite of 10

Horrible movie...story was shite and the two replacements for Knightley and the other tosser just didn't work....I haven't seen the previous fioms all the way through with the exception of the first...just bits and pieces but found them much more enjoyable.

I thought it was called 'Dead Men Tell No Tales' but I saw a billboard in Bolton the other day saying it was called 'Salzaar's Revenge' or something.
 
I thought it was called 'Dead Men Tell No Tales' but I saw a billboard in Bolton the other day saying it was called 'Salzaar's Revenge' or something.

It is called Salazar's Revenge...in the UK at least. It's still probably subtitled Dead Men Tell No Tales in the US and other territories.
 
Catfight (2016)

Available on Netflix. A bruising dark comedy about two women who embark on a 4 year 'catfight' as their encounters with each other result in reversals of their fortunes and at great cost to their personal lives. Each encounter culminating in an increasingly vicious brawl which is hard to watch at times. You can almost feel each blow as the sound effects are ramped up for added effect. Sandra Oh and Anne Heche portray their characters with real passion and vigour and the supporting cast is great too. Wasn't sure what to make of this though. Watching two middle-aged women beating the shit out of each other for no logical reason is a bit unnerving but the deliberate casting of Oh and Heche makes this all the more compelling viewing. There is a morality tale in there somewhere if you look hard enough and the ending lulls the viewer into a false sense of security. It's one that I won't forget in a hurry.

I'm giving this a 7/10.
 
Pirates Of The Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge -

Decided to take this one in mainly to kill some time despite not being being a fan of just about all of the series so far that I've seen, sadly I have to say I kinda wish I hadn't bothered as this is about as aggressively mediocre as the rest of the series. Don't know why I expected any different but I can guarantee that I arrived at this one with very low expectation which is usually a good starting point as things normally can only get better from there, how wrong I was with this one. Genuinely dozed off for a few seconds at about 6 different point during the film. It lacks any sense of dramatic structure especially a knowledge of when to actually slow things down and how to build intensity as this just feels like one long formulaic and boring set piece after another. The whole Jack Sparrow shtick is about 4 (possibly even 5) movies past its sell by date, Javier Bardem's Salazar is completely inaudible for a lot of the film and they actually managed to find an actor wetter than Orlando Bloom in the shape of Brenton Thwaites, even try as she might Kaya Scodelario can't really inject any real pathos here despite her best efforts as shes working with a poorly constructed script. A real waste of both time and money, I really have tried to find positives here and just about the only one I could find was the CGI which looks pretty good with the floating underwater effects applied to Salazar being particularly note worthy, however that apart pretty much everything else doesn't work and comes across as shoddily put together. Avoid.

3/10
 
Hot Shots!
A bit late to the party here but a great parody of top gun with some awesome dead pan comedy. The major character was hilarious, as was Charlie Sheen cooking breakfast on a woman's stomach 7/10
 
Hot Shots!
A bit late to the party here but a great parody of top gun with some awesome dead pan comedy. The major character was hilarious, as was Charlie Sheen cooking breakfast on a woman's stomach 7/10

Wow, you only just watched Hot Shots?? I would also recommend Top Secret if you haven't already seen it! Funny as feck! :lol:
 
Crimson Peak

Even I'm not frightened by CGI ghosts.

3/10
 
I enjoyed Crimson Peak in spite of the ghosts. It really wasn't a horror story and suffered when it tacked that stuff on at the end.
I think I'm in a rut by comparing older, more subtle films (The Haunting, The Innocents etc) with recent movies like CP, mate.
 
Split - I thought was good. Better from M Night after the tripe he served post The Village till The Visit. And the ending cameo put it in a whole different light. McAvoy acted well. Overall 7/10
 
Is James McAvoy the British Matt Damon? The trusty ordinary star of 6/10 films.

He seems to be a pre Lord of War Nicholas Cage. In that he does the weirdest films. And no one knows if he is good or bad.
 
The Belko Experiment | http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1082807/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Somewhat entertaining film about a bunch of office workers being locked in a building and pitted against each other in a Battle Royale type setting.

A lot of gore, plus since it is based in the Colombia branch of the Belko company you get a lot of Colombian eye candy.

Not a very engaging history, and it all has been done previously and better, but still it is very entertaining with some very decent acting.

Plenty of known actors, can't recall their names though but they are that kind where you recognise their face but can't remember the name (that bitter doctor from Scrubs is in it.)

7/10
 
Wow, you only just watched Hot Shots?? I would also recommend Top Secret if you haven't already seen it! Funny as feck! :lol:
Yeah @Dirty Schwein listen to this guy, Top Secret is brilliant!
Crimson Peak

Even I'm not frightened by CGI ghosts.

3/10
It was a mess of a film but there was something weirdly charming about it, I thought. I'm a sucker for anything del Toro makes though, so that might be it.
 
It was a mess of a film but there was something weirdly charming about it, I thought. I'm a sucker for anything del Toro makes though, so that might be it.
Edith's clothes were beautiful, mate. Oscar-worthy, I thought.
 
Headshot (2016)

Available on Netflix. Bone-crunching (literally) martial arts actioner starring Iko Uwais, star of The Raid series. From what I can make of a somewhat sketchy plot, Uwais portrays a gang member who turns on his former boss and fellow ruffians having lost his memory from a bullet to the head. Of course this wouldn't have happened if said ruffians hadn't put the bullet there in the first place. As the circumstances surrounding Uwais' character Ishmael/Abdi are revealed during a series of flashbacks, you're still none the wiser as to what is going on. Maybe it's just me. Anyway, if you've seen The Raid or Raid 2, you pretty much know what you're getting in this movie. I can't help but feel that given the Gareth Evans treatment, this film would have been pretty spectacular. However, it falls somewhat flat in the excitement department though the set pieces are quite graphic in places....if you like the trash being taken out in ever more creative and gruesome ways. It's amazing what you can do with any old object lying around.

Camera work is a bit poor at times which detracts from the action, but the soundtrack I must admit is quite brilliant. There really is no story or character development to speak of, but then again let's face it...it's not what we sign up for with these movies. Fight scenes are aplenty with violent and bloody bits to make you wince and grimace...all building up of course to the spectacular showdown. The director uses a raw, gritty style with the complex fight sequences all with each slice and bone crunch enhanced in the sound department. Although there is lots of action, it doesn't leave you gasping for air like The Raid did or even Kingsman: The Secret Service, which is pretty damn spectacular in places. Still it's what you would expect from Uwais and is pretty solid overall. I would probably place it above Merantau but well below The Raid 1 and 2.

I'm giving this a 7.5/10.
 
Headshot (2016)

Available on Netflix. Bone-crunching (literally) martial arts actioner starring Iko Uwais, star of The Raid series. From what I can make of a somewhat sketchy plot, Uwais portrays a gang member who turns on his former boss and fellow ruffians having lost his memory from a bullet to the head. Of course this wouldn't have happened if said ruffians hadn't put the bullet there in the first place. As the circumstances surrounding Uwais' character Ishmael/Abdi are revealed during a series of flashbacks, you're still none the wiser as to what is going on. Maybe it's just me. Anyway, if you've seen The Raid or Raid 2, you pretty much know what you're getting in this movie. I can't help but feel that given the Gareth Evans treatment, this film would have been pretty spectacular. However, it falls somewhat flat in the excitement department though the set pieces are quite graphic in places....if you like the trash being taken out in ever more creative and gruesome ways. It's amazing what you can do with any old object lying around.

Camera work is a bit poor at times which detracts from the action, but the soundtrack I must admit is quite brilliant. There really is no story or character development to speak of, but then again let's face it...it's not what we sign up for with these movies. Fight scenes are aplenty with violent and bloody bits to make you wince and grimace...all building up of course to the spectacular showdown. The director uses a raw, gritty style with the complex fight sequences all with each slice and bone crunch enhanced in the sound department. Although there is lots of action, it doesn't leave you gasping for air like The Raid did or even Kingsman: The Secret Service, which is pretty damn spectacular in places. Still it's what you would expect from Uwais and is pretty solid overall. I would probably place it above Merantau but well below The Raid 1 and 2.

I'm giving this a 7.5/10.
I've been meaning to watch this and Flashpoint 2 for ages but their run time is making it hard to commit. These types of films should never be longer than 90 minutes.
 
I've been meaning to watch this and Flashpoint 2 for ages but their run time is making it hard to commit. These types of films should never be longer than 90 minutes.

I'd agree with this. Though The Raid would be a notable exception to this rule. I did find myself pausing this film a couple of times to see how much running time was left. It certainly wouldn't have been affected by cutting 30 minutes out.
 
Una - British drama based on the play Blackbird about a woman visiting the man who abused her as a child, starring Rooney Mara and Ben Mendolsohn. Similar to Fences, it can't escape the fact it's very obviously a play but the two leads are so good it doesn't particularly matter. Mendolsohn was on hand to give a talk afterwards, which was an added bonus.
 
The Mother and the Whore - A candid dialogue heavy film about detrimental relationships, repeating the same mistakes in love and other good wholesome stuff. I thought it was brilliant. Listening to Jean-Pierre Léaud being a boring douche for 3 hours was quite a test but it all came together quite nicely.
 
Life
A space crew discover an alien lifeform that threatens to kill them all. I thought this was pretty good. The acting was good, had a good cast and some really good effects and I really liked the look of the alien... But it was missing that killer scene/set piece to elevate it from good to great 7/10

The Mummy

This film starts off ok but quickly turns into a complete mess because instead of focusing on the narrative or characters, the film only seems to care about setting up the 'dark universe'. A shame really as Tom cruise usually stars in some great summer blockbusters. Without him in it though, I'd probably like it even less 4/10
 
Philadelphia Experiment 2

Another disasterous experiment in 1993 sends a stealth aircraft through the time portal, into 1943 Germany. Simultaneously, Herdeg is pulled into the portal, and finds himself in the terrifying 1993 that resulted from a Nazi victory in World War II.

I liked the first one , this is just about watchable.

4/10
 
The Belko Experiment
A group of employees are forced into a game of kill or be killed when they are trapped into an office building. I love these types of films, with Battle Royale being one of my favourite films of all time. I was really excited for this, especially as it is written by James Gunn. While it was not bad, it wasn't anything special either. It had a decent cast, the acting was overall pretty good, the film moved at a pleasant pace and the violence was awesome. But I couldn't connect to any character and the final 30 minutes are as dumb as they get 7/10

Funny thing is I was writing a film that had this exact premise (and identical ending) but instead of office block it was a military compound. I wish I was famous enough to get it financed :(
 
I Am Not Your Negro - documentary which explores the black-white divide in America through the words of James Baldwin. Baldwin is fast becoming my favourite writer and gives a poetic framing to this messy topic. The film is enlightening and well made although is more abstract than your average doco because it's basis was an unfinished outline by Baldwin, and so doesn't give any clean or structured conclusion or assessment. I didn't really need that though.
 
Alien Covenant 3/10

Poor casting, poor script, plot holes and a glaringly obvious ending. Fassbender puts in an excellent performance as expected, however the anticipation of this installment vastly outweighed the reward.

It's also really hard to accept Danny McBride in a serious role, I kept waiting for a ballsack joke the entire time.
 
The Raid 2 8/10

As a big fan of its predecessor I was surprised it took me so long to watch this, but I certainly wasn't disappointed. This movie literally follows directly on from the first installment (it commences 24 hours after he has exited the tower block). At 3 hours long the somewhat typical gangster plot (our protagonist now goes undercover to infiltrate the local syndicate) is spiced up with a 2 year jail sentence to earn his "street cred", before the mobster chaos even begins.

We have warring mobsters, assassins specialising in baseball bats and hammers and three of the best martial artists currently on canvas. The ending of the film has one of the best fight scenes I have seen in a very long time.

A great sofa and a few beers kind of movie.
 
Wonder Woman

'Before she was Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot), she was Diana, princess of the Amazons, trained to be an unconquerable warrior. Raised on a sheltered island paradise, Diana meets an American pilot (Chris Pine) who tells her about the massive conflict that's raging in the outside world. Convinced that she can stop the threat, Diana leaves her home for the first time. Fighting alongside men in a war to end all wars, she finally discovers her full powers and true destiny'

Entered not really expecting much as it was not my first choice, but was taken in pretty quickly. Cringe-fest at times, but being a superhero DC film, it was probably expected. At times the animation was slightly suspect and some of the characters were slightly TOO hammed up (Euan Bremner playing a slightly thick Scotsman).

Solidish story line, ending was a little odd. The fight scenes were awesome and who wouldn't want to stare at Gal Gadot for 2 hours? That woman is perfection. The film also wasn't overly sexualised, which was something I personally found endearing. The score, as always with DC, was on point.

Overall, good film, not the best, but kept me entertained and hooked throughout.

7/10
 
Hot Shots!
A bit late to the party here but a great parody of top gun with some awesome dead pan comedy. The major character was hilarious, as was Charlie Sheen cooking breakfast on a woman's stomach 7/10
Wow, that's an oldie. The sequel is also quite funny in parts, from memory.