Damn. He is so cool.
And he'll likely go down as the greatest player of all time.
In all seriousness though, Lingard is the perfect example of the type of player we hang on to.
We don't want to let these types of players go and they are absolutely shite!!!
These types of players, when on the pitch, is like playing with a man down.
When Lingard played for us, it was like we were playing with 10 men.
Players like Lingard and currently Martial, should be told that they will never play for MUFC again.
They either accept a transfer or their contract will run out and they needn't turn up to training.
We had another player who was of the same ilk - Sancho - who was absolutely useless. We should've written him off after 18 months and attempted to re-coup as much transfer money as we could. Having him on the pitch was like wearing a condom with a big fat hole in it. And the best part: he is one of the most expensive purchases in our club's history!
We have the likes of Eriksen who is no longer capable of playing 90 minutes against a top side. He was once a very good player, but for us, he is past his best. Get rid of the guy. Put him out of his misery.
I'd also add players like Antony to that list - not good enough. If he left us today for another club, he would disappear into nothingness.
The problem is we incorrectly spent so much on these useless players that it would be humiliating to sell a player for a fraction of what he cost, a year or 2 later. This would truly highlight how incompetent the people responsible for these decisions, are.
We are so incompetent that for the most average players, we:
1, pay the highest wage
2, pay a very high transfer fee
...and after these players arrive at our club, we can't get rid of them because they are so crap!
From top to bottom, the club needs to replace its staff. Even the board members are next to useless and have turned the club into a 4th place trophy hunting club. Even the fans seem to get excited about the prospect of winning the imaginary 4th place trophy.
If possible, I'd replace most of the board members (whoever they are).
If a manager finishes in 4th place AND does not win a trophy that season, he should be fired. There shouldn't be any debate. It should be a straightforward sacking.
Similarly, if a player cannot make impact within 1 year, we should get him out of the club fast. We did this with Memphis Depay, which was the right move to make. We did this with Di Maria. No hard feelings - they just didn't suit us or the EPL.
Anyway, rant over.