The Banter Era

sugar_kane

Full Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2013
Messages
3,790
Since it’s been a right miserable old week I thought we could cheer ourselves up by reminiscing about what a shit fecking ten years it’s been since Fergie left.

Post your favourite ridiculous things that have happened to our club in that time here.

Here’s a few for starters, they’re all fairly obvious ones. Points for the more obscure nuggets.

Ed Woodward scaring Klopp off being our manager by trying to sell the club as “Disneyland”

Ed Woodward bragging about how much money we have only to see everyone rip us off in the transfer market for the rest of eternity

Signing Fellaini on deadline day for more than his release clause, and him being the only signing that summer

Refusing to buy Maguire for Mourinho then spending 80m on him the next summer
 
24CECD8000000578-0-image-a-28_1421581233908.jpg
 
Rewarding De Gea for costing us top 4 by giving him a long term contract making him the best paid GK in the world
 
Plenty of weird deadline day stories, in addition to the Fellaini one OP mentioned:

The fake Spanish lawyers trying to sign Herrera on deadline day 2013

Accepting Real's offer for De Gea in the dying minutes of deadline day 2015, only for Real to fail to upload their documentation to TMS on time
 
Losing Pogba on a free (before the Banter Era, granted), re-signing him for a world record fee, then losing him again on a free (not that anyone was particularly bothered by then)

The Alexis Sánchez unveiling piano video
 
The fact we “beat” City to signing these four players:

Sanchez
Fred
Maguire
Ronaldo
 
The 'leak' during Moyes reign about the high-tech digital technology, including iPads and computer screens.
 
Nani Nana said:
The Di Maria episode
Click to expand...
I don't know how to explain this, but something just didn't feel right when I saw him lined up for his debut at Turf Moor. Wasn't surprised when he ended up leaving less than a year later.
 
sugar_kane said:
The fact we “beat” City to signing these four players:

Sanchez
Fred
Maguire
Ronaldo
Click to expand...

I honestly think they have an intern who leaks the dumbest transfer rumours imaginable to the local press knowing that United will hear about it, panic and then try to sign them. There were rumours they'd sign Pogba too when he was about to leave.
 
Letting a man with no chin run the football club. Trying to sell Marcus Rojo every single year but still giving him a new contract for book value. Anything related to Ed Woodward really. There’s lot of reasons to criticise the Glazers. Appointing that chump should be number 1.
 
sugar_kane said:
The fact we “beat” City to signing these four players:

Sanchez
Fred
Maguire
Ronaldo
Click to expand...
At least that last one had merit. He was the best in the world at the time. And I know it's unpopular. But I loved seeing him in the United Kit again. Reliving my childhood. Shame he turned into the biggest cnut on the planet towards the end. If only he was humble. Just once.
 
In a must win CL game, van Gaal subbed Mata for Powell who had like 3 appearances for the club in total at that point, and then we never saw him again after getting knocked out.

José promoting McTominay just to give Pogba the middle finger instead of basing it off what he'd actually bring to the team.

Ole signing Donny for, what, £40m over Grealish and never playing him.
 
Lingard on the bus away to West Ham

Getting the time zones wrong and missing out on Haaland when he went to Austria instead even though Ole was his mentor?

Resigning a faded Ronaldo and making him the highest paid player in the league

Moyes showing Rio videos of Everton’s defenders

protecting the value of worthless assets

Far too many more to mention
 
Final match of the season getting postponed in 2016 because the firm that does security at OT accidentally left a fake training bomb in one of the toilets.
 
Not finishing above Man City once in 10 years.

Letting the two most sought after managers in world football go to our two biggest rivals and then watching them flourish, winning Leagues and CL’s over many years while our board placated us with high profile signings of established players in their 30s.

Great banter.
 
After a decade of unprecedented failure only Ed Woodward was sacked but his mates Arnold and Murtough who was part of the highest decision making board responsible for the failures are not only kept on but promoted to take over the helm.
 
It’s like we sold our soul in 1992, then as soon as Sir Alex retired we’ve been paying for it. It’s a rivals wet dream what’s happened to us this past decade.
 
David Moyes
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer
Gary Neville and our fans throwing their dummies out the pram when the club tried to sack Mourinho
5-0, 4-0, 7-0
Maguire and Antony
Cultural Reset
Mourinho's Seville press conference and our fans lapping it up
 
Tyrion said:
I honestly think they have an intern who leaks the dumbest transfer rumours imaginable to the local press knowing that United will hear about it, panic and then try to sign them. There were rumours they'd sign Pogba too when he was about to leave.
Click to expand...
Almost certain they baited us into signings we know they'd never make - mostly after we'd taken steps forward as well :lol:
 
Letting Pogba go on a free twice, either side of paying an enormous fee for him he never looked worthy of, is really quite special. You’d have to search long and hard for an example of any other club owning itself so badly.

The club sale SNAFU looks like it’s going to be top of the charts for humiliating cock ups if it goes on much longer.
 
We have the highest spending in the world in the last decade and we paid insane salaries yet the football we played was embarrassing.

One of the world biggest club is owned by American and was managed by an accountant - Ed. Both parties know nothing about football.
 
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