Stookie
Nurse bell end
That's about the only part of him we could afford.
That's about the only part of him we could afford.
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger spent part of the first half of his side's 7-3 win against Newcastle wrestling with the zip on his 'Michelin man'-style coat.
Full story: Metro
Boring day at the office, I guess!
TRANSFER GOSSIP
Real Madrid midfielder Luca Modric could be ready for a move back to the Premier League. Chelsea, Manchester United and Manchester City are interested in the 27-year-old, who has failed to impress at Real since joining in August from Tottenham for £33m.
Full story: Sunday Mirror #
Frank Lampard, 34, is set to extend his stay at Chelsea, with club owner Roman Abramovich ready to *perform a U-turn and re-open contract talks with the midfielder.
Full story: The People
Real Madrid will make a move for Manchester City striker Sergio Aguero if the break-up of his marriage to Diego Maradona's daughter Giannina leaves him feeling isolated in England.
Full story: Sunday Express
Manchester City, meanwhile, have taken their first step towards getting rid of controversial striker Mario Balotelli by making a £45m bid for Napoli striker Edinson Cavani, 25.
Full story: Sunday People
Tottenham will open negotiations this week for the £10million signing of Crystal Palace winger Wilfried Zaha, 20.
Full story: Mail on Sunday
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is preparing an £8m bid for Wigan midfielder James McCarthy, 22.
Full story: Daily Mirror
However, Emmanuel Adebayor's Spurs future is in serious doubt and it is understood the club would consider offers for the 28-year-old Togo striker.Stoke manager Tony Pulis has rejected reports that Michael Owen is to leave the club and head to Australia. Perth Glory claimed on Saturday they had been approached by the 33-year-old former England striker's agent about a move.
Full story: The Sun
Manchester United are tracking Borussia Dortmund midfielder Sven Bender. The 23-year-old helped his side win last season's Bundesliga but has struggled with injuries this term.
Full story: The Times (subscription required)
QPR boss Harry Redknapp is in talks with six players, including midfielder Tim Cahill and strikers Robbie Keane and Nicolas Anelka, as he attempts to save the club from relegation.
Full story: Metro
Liverpool are refusing to budge on their valuation of former winger Tom Ince. The Reds have offered £4m but Blackpool want £6m for the 20-year-old.
Full story: Mail on Sunday
Swansea defender Garry Monk, 33, will hold talks with manager Michael Laudrup before deciding if his future lies away from the Liberty Stadium.
Full story: South Wales Evening Post
OTHER GOSSIP
Aston Villa face a £17m bill if they are relegated from the Premier League as six of their big earners do not have relegation clauses in their contracts.
Full story: Sunday Mirror
AND FINALLY
Real Madrid star Cristiano Ronaldo has paid tribute to his own amazing form in 2012 by having all his record-breaking stats stitched on to his boots.
Full story: Metro
QPR boss Harry Redknapp is in talks with six players, including midfielder Tim Cahill and strikers Robbie Keane and Nicolas Anelka, as he attempts to save the club from relegation.
Full story: Metro
Good old Harry
Manchester City are privately discussing how much money they would receive if they sold controversial striker Mario Balotelli, 22, despite public statements to the contrary about his future.
Full story: the Observer
Crystal Palace have told Manchester United that if they want to sign England winger Wilfried Zaha, 20, they will have to pay £15m including add-ons and allow him to stay with his current side for the rest of the campaign.
Full story: Sunday Mirror
Liverpool are planning to hijack Galatasaray's move for 28-year-old Netherlands and Inter Milan playmaker Wesley Sneijder.
Full story: The People
Queens Park Rangers manager Harry Redknapp and chief scout Ian Broomfield travelled to France on Saturday night to watch defensive midfielder Yann M'Vila, 22, in action for Rennes against Bordeaux.
Aspas has scored eight goals in 18 La Liga appearances this season
Full story: skysports.com
Rennes manager Frederic Antonetti has strongly hinted that QPR are in the market for controversial France international M'Vila after he said: "The bottom club in England want to sign one of our best players."
Full story: l'Equipe (in French)
Chelsea have bid £8.3m for Celta Vigo striker Iago Aspas, 25, but his club are trying to convince him to hold off on making a move until the summer.
Full story: Marca (in Spanish)
Aston Villa have told Reading and QPR they must pay a large fee to acquire out-of-favour £24m club record signing Darren Bent. The 28-year-old striker has featured in only 10 Premier League games this season due to injury and manager Paul Lambert's preference for fellow centre forward Christian Benteke, 22.
Full story: Sunday Mirror
Newcastle have had a bid accepted for Marseille striker and QPR target Loic Remy, 26.
Full story: Mail on Sunday
England left-back Ashley Cole, 32, wants to stay in the Premier League after his Chelsea contract expires in the summer and will hold talks with Premier League leaders Manchester United.
Full story: The People
Stoke manager Tony Pulis could be tempted to bring in overseas loan replacements for striker Kenwyne Jones, 28, and winger Jermaine Pennant, 29, if he decides to sell the pair in the current transfer window.
Full story: Stoke Sentinel
OTHER GOSSIP
Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson will chair a secret two-day League Managers' Association seminar which will be attended by Real Madrid's Jose Mourinho and ex-Barcelona boss Pep Guardiola.
Reo-Coker has previously played for Wimbledon, West Ham, Aston Villa and Bolton
Full story: Mail on Sunday
Manchester City plan to open talks with Carlos Tevez, 28, in a bid to prevent the striker walking away from the club for nothing in 18 months' time when his current contract expires.
Full story: Manchester Evening News
Nigel Reo-Coker, 28, has chosen to leave Ipswich after the Championship side elected to only offer him a new deal until the end of the season.
Full story: Ipswich Star
Fabio Capello has made a peace deal with the Football Association that will mean he takes part in the organisation's 150th anniversary celebrations on Wednesday, despite his lingering grievances after walking out as England manager last year over the John Terry affair.
Full story: the Observer
AND FINALLY
Stoke fans were left red-faced after they teased Chelsea manager Rafa Benitez with a P45 poster - only for the Spaniard to then mastermind a 4-0 win over them.
Full story: Metro
Benitez the mastermind.
Benitez the mastermind.
If only he would consider coming to OT should SAF ever choose to retire
Wayne Rooney has designed adiamond-encrusted motorbike, inspired by his overhead-kick against Manchester City: The Mail on Sunday.
I don't think Ancelotti fits the Arsenal model. He doesn't tend to focus on young players.
Ancelotti gave a hell of a lot of opportunities to youngsters didn't he? Borini, Bruma, PvA, Kakuta, Bertrand, Hutchinson, McEachran, Mellis
Has this journalist been on the mushrooms?
He's very well liked by some of the Chelsea fans because he gave chances to the youngsters.
That's what ChelseaYouth on twitter said about him
Reina to Barcelona?
That rubbish aside i did somebody else say earlier in the week that Diame could be on his way to Arsenal in this transfer window.
This sounds like one of those bullshit 5th hand rumours, but here it goes...
The son of a guy I work with, is best friends with a West Ham first X1 player, and he said he spoke to Diame and was saying moving to Tottenham was a done deal.
Therefore, I'm a bit surprised that a few days on nothing has come out yet
TRANSFER GOSSIP
Former England captain David Beckham, 37, will try to convince at least four big-name England stars, including Steven Gerrard, to join the MLS - once he has sorted out his own future. Ashley Cole and Peter Crouch are also believed to be on the wishlist.
Full story: Sunday People
Tottenham winger David Bentley, 28, is desperate to go out on loan after returning from a spell with FC Rostov, with Blackburn and Reading interested.
Full story: Mail on Sunday Premier League teams including Tottenham, Manchester City, Arsenal and Liverpool are all believed to be interested in signing striker Christian Benteke from struggling Aston Villa. The 22-year-old has scored 11 goals this season.
Full story: Sunday Mirror
Meanwhile, Villa are set to cut their losses on former England international defender Stephen Warnock and let the 31-year-old join West Ham on a free transfer.
Full story: Sunday Telegraph
Reading are plotting to hijack Blackpool winger Tom Ince's move to Liverpool with an £8m bid.
Full story: Sunday People
Stoke City goalkeeper Asmir Begovic has set his heart on a summer move to Manchester United, although Manchester City, Arsenal and Liverpool have also shown an interest in the 25-year-old, who is rated at £14m.
Full story: Sunday Mirror
Manchester United are set to offer a new deal to midfielder Michael Carrick with the 31-year-old's current deal due to expire in 2014.
Full story: Goal.com
Newcastle are in talks to sign Ivory Coast striker Wilfried Bony, 24, from Dutch side Vitesse Arnhem for £12m.
Full story: Sunday Telegraph
Former Wigan and West Brom midfielder Paul Scharner, 32, is set to join Sunderland on loan from Hamburg.
Full story: The Sun
OTHER GOSSIP
Sir Alex Ferguson took the advice of Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes before signing Robin van Persie because he wanted assurances that the £24m *striker's arrival from Arsenal would not lead to any problems in the dressing room.
Full story: Sunday Mirror
Chelsea interim manager Rafa Benitez has admitted he would love to stay at the Stamford Bridge club and that he would have a better chance of winning the league if the club give him a full season to impose his ideas.
Full story: Mail on Sunday
New Southampton manager Mauricio Pochettino admits his biggest fear ahead of facing Manchester United is picking the right Argentinian wine for Sir Alex Ferguson.
Full story: The Sun
Real Madrid coach Jose Mourinho has joked that Pep Guardiola has joined Bayern Munich to ensure the pair do not have to do battle. Mourinho said: "Has he deliberately chosen a league I am not involved in? I don't know. What is certain is that I will not manage in Germany."
Full story: Marca (Spanish)
AND FINALLY
Charlie Morgan, the ball boy involved in the incident with Chelsea's Eden Hazard last week, has been banned by football chiefs from next month's Wales international against Austria at the Liberty Stadium.
Full story: Sunday People
Didn't realise no one had done it today.
And in a transfer window, not a single interesting story either.
Anyone think there's a chance Rafa will be given the job full time?