It’s Little Britain with slightly more Scott McTominay
Static, slow motion zombie passing
- Thread starter noodlehair
- Start date
So @noodlehair is basically Matt Lucas?
Matt Lucas lives to such cock, @noodlehair sucks cocks to save lives.
That was only the one time.10 years on - is this the year the zombies are slain?
God I hope so. And for the record noodles was 100% right all along. Results good but flattering, the football was shite.
Ironically this thread just won't stay dead. Which I'm fine with given that it's accurate.
Hopefully this will be the end of it. We have a manager who plays modern football with a focus on possession for the first time in.... well, for the first time.
I haven’t seen it yet, but I am sure it will just be matter of time. Some teams will dig in deep and on an off day the ball won’t be moved quick enough.
That's the spirit.
The thread won’t be slain, assuming all goes well with ETG. There will just be gradual evolution over 3-6 transfer windows, to the point where we have seamlessly evolved into a possession based team.
It’s back with a bang.
We were happy to just have possession in that half. I know that West Ham had eleven behind the ball and we were at least trying to break them down, which is an improvement on last year, but fecking hell the lazy mentality is still going strong. Also compare West Ham trying to go for the kill after their goal compared to what we're usually like.
A bunch of spray and pray shots and feck all else.
It's the history of the Manchester United
Over a decade of this rubbish, with the odd false dawn thrown in. With a budget as large as ours whys it so difficult to buy technically competent players who aren't as thick as shit?
When was the last time we played a decent brand of football consistently? 2009 maybe? Feels like this has been a thing for half my life. 
I would say Zombie passing is due to this team energy level been so low after playing so many games in a row. At mid season when we were at our best I didn't see us passing like this
Its maddening to see this team consistently act like they believe they move faster than the ball...
It’s United DNA.
It wasn't good vs West Ham but I think that's more of a Moyes thing than a United thing.
Even in the recent games, I've still seen glimpses of sharp, composed passing (sometimes for a whole half!) that gives me more optimism than anything else from the last decade. Am I on my own?
Even in the recent games, I've still seen glimpses of sharp, composed passing (sometimes for a whole half!) that gives me more optimism than anything else from the last decade. Am I on my own?
Why is it always the team that plays against us, is always the one playing better brand of football. Other than few games here and there over the last decade, we hardly control any games.
Definitely the new United DNA.
Definitely the new United DNA.
Exactly. We are so low on energy and since we have many injuries and a poor bench, we cant rotate really
Composed passing is there yes. But its too damn slow to be of any sustained use
Not this shit again.
That was West Ham’s 5th game in 14 days. Didn’t seem like they were in zombie mode
It's the most infuriating thing ever and we have had that problem for so long. Are the players simply not on a fitness level that is required for the modern game? I watch the Arsenal Newcastle game and I see all players sprinting pretty much non-stop for 90 minutes, press, track back, throw themselves into every shot. As long as our players don't deliver that sort of commitment, we are going to fecking be outdone by every other team. What also grinds my gears is that for some part of the season we looked like our players actually had turned a corner in that regard and started playing with more intensity, but it feels if Lisandro isn't on the pitch, the team loses all their aggressiveness. It also doesn't help that Fred barely gets a game. I get it with Fred it's complicated, his lack of tactical understanding and discipline is a problem for most managers, but at least he puts up a fight.
Not sure about that.
I think it is more to do with lack of belief by the players.
When you are confident you are going to pass so much more quickly.
And the movement off the ball is almost non existent.
this frustrated me yesterday
Especially when we should have been chasing an equaliser
hopefully it’s tiredness
It's the last 3rd of the pitch were we struggle. Been a problem all season. Need a goalscorer or 2.
Few times in 1st half we break the lines quite decently with passing from the back or deep in midfield and it's been like that in alot of our games but once we hit the final 3rd we have nose bleeds. Moves get broken down from lack of movement upfront. No intelligent movement or the final pass is either to soft or overhit.
Few times in 1st half we break the lines quite decently with passing from the back or deep in midfield and it's been like that in alot of our games but once we hit the final 3rd we have nose bleeds. Moves get broken down from lack of movement upfront. No intelligent movement or the final pass is either to soft or overhit.
Man I remember being slated for this post in 2012z
We slow up because we can't compete toe-to-toe with most midfields. We need younger more dynamic players in there who can cover the ground, play quick progressive football and beat the press the traits most modern ballers have.
We can't do that with Case, Eriksen and Bruno all in the same midfield.
We play better with Martinez and Varane and once we get a better ball playing keeper it will start to look better.
We can't do that with Case, Eriksen and Bruno all in the same midfield.
We play better with Martinez and Varane and once we get a better ball playing keeper it will start to look better.
Outside of Rashford and Bruno the rest have no excuse at being fatigued. Every other player on the pitch had most likely played less than the West Hams players.
We wasted about 80 mins doing the boring useless passing across the back line. West Ham is a team that do not press and even they managed to peg us back and forced us to waste time. Always looking for the safest pass. Not one player in the back line had the courage to pass the ball through the middle, always passing it out wide and getting it back.
Even yesterday the football was ok until the final third where we are just terrible. Been the same for years. We just pray Rashford or Bruno are in a purple patch otherwise we’re fecked.
We’re so incompetent at getting pace on the flanks or players who can cross or control the ball. Signing Antony for £80m who can’t do any of those things shows how clueless we are under these incompetent owners.
We’re so incompetent at getting pace on the flanks or players who can cross or control the ball. Signing Antony for £80m who can’t do any of those things shows how clueless we are under these incompetent owners.
Yeah we need players in this midfield who are technical and capable of taking ball on the move because we look like statues
We were spoilt back then, no doubt. I remember being very much disgruntled about the decline in our overall level of play - but boy I had no idea what was going to come...
Yeah, sure. Although the game has moved on a lot since then. I think threads like these were triggered by the way you could see where the game was going and how we were getting left behind. We were already set on the path towards "moments FC" while teams around us were working on the whole "patterns of play" thing that keeps getting thrown at us these days.
I wish we could have shown 2012 noodlehair just how bad things would get so he could have enjoyed that time more.
I love RVP, and I'm not saying I'd change signing him, but it's disappointing that we signed him to bail us out instead of addressing the problem after humblings from Bilbao, Barca and City. I guess we tried by buying Kagawa who was supposed to be our answer to Bilbao's Muniain, City's Silva and Nasri and Barca's, well, everyone, but our scouts didn't realise that, unlike all of them, Kagawa was very weak. I wish we had broke the bank for Muniain and a partner for Carrick like Dembele from Fulham. Two press resistant players alongside Carrick, Rooney, RvP and I guess Welbeck would've reeeeeally improved us in that regard.
It's crazy that mini run from Cleverley and Anderson, with a front four of Young, Nani, Welbeck and Rooney somewhat interchanging at the beginning of the 11/12 season is the best football we've played in the past decade plus, though. Starting from the second half of the community shield against City where we brought Cleverley on, up until Cleverley's injury against Bolton. Bloody Kevin Davies!
The only other contender was that mini run under van Gaal where we had Carrick at the base, Valencia, Herrera and Mata linking up down the right, Blind, Fellaini and Young linking down the left, and Rooney silently dominating up front. I also enjoyed the mini run of Martial, Rashford and Greenwood, but that was more down to those three rather than the team in general like the aforementioned two.
It's crazy that mini run from Cleverley and Anderson, with a front four of Young, Nani, Welbeck and Rooney somewhat interchanging at the beginning of the 11/12 season is the best football we've played in the past decade plus, though. Starting from the second half of the community shield against City where we brought Cleverley on, up until Cleverley's injury against Bolton. Bloody Kevin Davies!
The only other contender was that mini run under van Gaal where we had Carrick at the base, Valencia, Herrera and Mata linking up down the right, Blind, Fellaini and Young linking down the left, and Rooney silently dominating up front. I also enjoyed the mini run of Martial, Rashford and Greenwood, but that was more down to those three rather than the team in general like the aforementioned two.
It’s like watching your team play in a dream where nothing quite ever actually happens.
Over a decade and the only thing that changed is that it's worse.