Also, you can be passionate and not cringey. I know super passionate fans who go to every single game and adore the club, but would still laugh at that paragraph. It's an amusing, over dramatic piece of writing.
You didn't like it, so let's try one from another Spurs fan invited inside (hertyid):
"Astonishing stadium. The seats in the south and north stands in particular are incredibly close to the pitch, seems like only a few feet. The South Stand Kop is very steep and imposing. The upper tiers of the West and East Stands are similarly steep and hang over the pitch like at the Bernabeu. The concourses and wide and spacious, and all feel like Club Wembley in terms of the food and drink options and the quality of the finish. It's really, really impressive, much better than I expected (having not been there since the last game at old WHL).
Spoke with some club officials about the timeline, and they said it's tight but they aren't worried about finishing. 3000 people working there each day, they can fit 5000 seats in a day, pitch is on schedule, changing rooms and tunnel club up next, south stand almost finished. Honestly, most of the stadium was open yesterday, 1st 4th and 5th floors North, West and East stands. It's all ready to go.
Some really nice touches, the bricks from the old Shelf in the walls at either end of one of the bars, the platform at the top of the North Stand where the Cockerel will sit, the new Park Lane Kop stand is just totally epic (with longest bar in Europe), the technology is amazing (can pour 60,000 pints in 5 minutes).
They have done an amazing job recreating WHL and not just a generic bowl. When you are down by the dugout, you feel the enormity of the stadium looking up to the gods. When you are up top in the 5th tier, you feel like you are in the Colosseum in Rome.
It's going to be epic when Liverpool come to town on 15th September."